We're stuck in dreary 2015, and we need to return to the future, namely 2041. Here's what the world of sport looks like.
1. John Delaney finally steps down from his roles as head of FIFA, UEFA, the FAI, and the Dublin schoolboys league
After a campaign aided by the support of the world's largest media conglomerate (Communicorp) John Delaney assumed the top jobs at both UEFA and FIFA back in 2024.
His seventeen years in power were littered with controversies, most notably his attempt to ban both banners and singing at football matches, and his decision to invite the Wolfe Tones to perform at the opening ceremony of the 2026 World Cup in England, a move which was to damage Anglo-Irish relations for many years.
2. Mayo supporter lives in fear of his life
Mike McHale (22) from Belmullet, is currently living in fear of his life after scrawling 'MAYO FOR SAM '41' on the side of the Al Aqsa Holy Mosque in Jerusalem. The incident started 14 days of rioting in the Muslim world and the Ayatollah issued a fatwa against the young Mayo supporter.
He is currently being guarded around the clock by two rather diffident local Gardai. A fund has been set up to support him with Salman Rushdie, Richard Dawkins and Fox News being his main supporters.
3. Ireland miss out on the recently expanded 128 team World Cup after an agonising playoff loss
An away goals defeat against Cyprus does for Ireland's hopes, and means they wont be part of the following summer's three month long extravaganza.
4. Croke Park residents relocated to the West Bank to make way for Hill 16 expansion
The GAA become continually embroiled in disputes with the Croke Park residents. Their plan to develop Hill 16 hits on the familiar snags with marches and sit-ins the order of the day. Eventually, with the help of both the government and the Israeli ambassador, they enact a plan whereby the residents are moved to West Bank in Palestine to make way for the development.
5. The organisation 'Keep Rovers At Tallaght' intensifies its efforts to prevent the sale of the ground to property developers
The organisation attempts to prevent the sale of Tallaght Stadium to celebrity property developer Ronan Johnson. A series of marches are organised through Dublin City Centre. The protests are vocally supported by both opposition TDs in the area.
However, their support is undermined when they are unable to name a single Shamrock Rovers player in an appearance on Tonight with Claire Byrne.
Minister for Justice Mick Wallace also lends support to their cause.
It is believed that Johnson wishes to build luxury apartments on the site.
6. The Great GPA Strike of the 2021-22 is commemorated
Celebrations are organised for the 20th anniversary of the strike which ushered in professionalism in the GAA.
Paul Rouse publishes a groundbreaking history of both the strike and the 2021 All-Ireland championship season, in which the football was won by the London minor team and the hurling was won by Kilkenny (who opted not to participate in the strike).
A statue is unveiled to Dessie Farrell on O'Connell Street alongside the one of Big Jim Larkin.
7. Multi-billion euro bailout of Kildare GAA
The world's media is gathered outside the Keadeen Hotel on a dramatic night in Newbridge as Kildare enters a bailout programme with Croke Park and the IMF.
Dublin GAA agrees to kick in a few billion.
Years of spending millions on cryogenic baths in Iceland, sports psychology sessions with the world's leading practitioners, and team bonding trips to Hawaii and Cape Town have yielded one Leinster Final appearance.
8. Gerry Adams finally steps down as President of Sinn Fein. James McClean is unanimously elected as his successor.
After 55 years at the helm, Gerry Adams steps down as President of Sinn Fein, the main opposition party in Ireland. Former footballer and op-ed columnist with the Guardian, James McClean is appointed the party's new leader.
As usual he makes a combative opening, with Miriam Lord noting that he went in with studs showing on the Taoiseach and leader of Fine Gael, Denis O'Brien. Thankfully, only metaphorically.
9. Japan and Georgia reach the semi-final of the Rugby World Cup in 2039. Ireland have yet to do so.
Ireland coach Murray Kinsella targets a semi-final spot at the 2043 Rugby World Cup.
10. Brian Cody is appointed manager of Kilkenny for another year
The drive for 30 All-Irelands goes on. Despite his initial misgivings, Cody has just published a second autobiography, entitled 'There's no such thing as tactics'.
