Here at Balls.ie, we hope Santa brought you everything you wanted this morning. We also hope that he delivered for all of the wonderful sports men, women and administrators of this fine country. After a year of giving us so much wonderful memories, we are sure they were rewarded with their heart's desire this Christmas.
Pat Holmes and Noel Connelly - Subbuteo Set
'Look Pat, we can tell these lads to do what we want them to do, and they won't answer back, won't ask to go on TV and won't voice their legitimate professional concerns about not getting picked'.
John Delaney - A Football Family Tree
And guess who's at the top.
Pep Guardiola - The Frank Grimes episode of the Simpsons
Christmas is a time to tell cautionary tales: we're thinking A Christmas Carol; we're thinking It's A Wonderful Life. The Grimes episode of the Simpsons is such a tale for Guardiola, whose general cleverness and talent at doing things his own way will be too much for the English press. In this metaphor, Pep is the hard-working Frank Grimes who turns up with his perfectly-sharpened pencils and work-ethic only to be exasperated and eventually driven mad by the ignorant questions of Homer/the English press. 'Space, you haven't been?'
Shane Ross - Proper 3G coverage
To make sure those tweets are sent on time.
Pat Hickey - Bath Robe
Handy for the cold in the event of any early-morning visitors.
Robbie Brady - DVD of My Left Foot
Let (Cyrus) Christie take it.
Mark Lawrenson - Atlas/Globe
Lawro appeared on BBC quiz show Pointless at the beginning of the year, and was asked to name a country beginning with the letter 'A'. He went for Alaska, noted for not being a country.
Ex Liverpool player Mark Lawrenson on 'Pointless'. pic.twitter.com/iPShjHIvTq
— EPL Bible (@EPLBible) January 10, 2016
Conor McGregor - A Belt
You know the member of your family who spends the run up to the holidays complaining about what they have lost/don't have as a subtle way of communicating what they want as a Christmas present? Yeah, McGregor does that.
Will Grigg - Fire Extinguisher
A way of marking the Chant of 2016.
Steve McClaren - A better agent
Steve has a habit of snatching haplessness from virtually everything, so he really should not be booked for live TV events that have the potential to magnify his better nature: like England v Iceland.
Jim Beglin - Planet Earth 2 Boxset
Jim's branding of Roma's Radja Nainggolan as 'Ferret Head' on RTE this year was one of the finest bits of commentary we've heard in years, so here's hoping Jim broadens his horizons and gives us a few more magnificent commentary moments.
Paul O'Connell - An invite to University Challenge
He's already conquered A Question of Sport, so it's time for Paulie to make the step-up in terms of long-running BBC quiz shows. We like the idea of him putting the fear of God into Jeremy Paxman, and just imagine the #content when he nails hapax legomenon off the back of a single, nebulous clue.
Roy Hodgson - Sainsburys vouchers
Roy has had a tough year, so let's keep him away from shopping at Iceland.
George Hamilton - A Chronicler
It is time we have a book entitled George's Big Book of Facts About Referees. The ref for Ireland/Moldova for example, has a sister who is a World Champion Ballroom Dancer.
Brendan Rodgers - Game of Thrones boxset
Brendan's never-ending pursuit of characters will surely end in the expanse of Westeros.
Joe Schmidt - A role in the Milkybar Kid Biopic
Joe looks like the Milkybar Kid's demanding yet affable father.
The FAI - Cluedo
'We're pretty sure the Clubs did it'.
League of Ireland clubs - Cluedo
'We're pretty sure the FAI did it'
Every Child in Cork - A hurley and sliotar
Make Cork Hurling Great Again.
Dublin - A DVD of the humiliation in the O'Byrne Cup to Longford
To ensure complacency does not seep into the 2017 season, and a reminder that there are a few Davids still knocking about the GAA.
Paul Kimmage - UFC Fight pass
Kimmage's recent writing in the Sindo would suggest he is determined to give MMA a chance, so a subscription to Fightpass would seem the logical next step.
Frank Murphy - A bronze, life-size statue
It would look well outside Pairc Ui Chaoimh. Disclaimer: he might already have this.
FIFA/IAAF/AIBA/Jaco Peyper/Dr. Wu/Dylan Hartley/Russia - Coal
Merry Christmas to everybody else!
