The strange story of the Mathieu 'Le Petit Velo' Valbuena and the sex tape he allegedly stars in has taken another sorry turn this morning with Karim Benzema apparently confessing to a French judge that he was involved in a conspiracy to extort money from his diminutive France teammate in order to keep the sex tape out of the public domain, or if not the public domain, then French porn sites.
Djibril Cisse has already seen the insides of a gendarmerie station because of this dispiriting tale of teammates blackmailing teammates, millionaires blackmailing millionaires and Frenchmen blackmailing Frenchmen.
Let's park the ethical discussion of blackmail for the moment because I want to talk about sex tapes. I don't want to tell anyone how to live their life but even at the fear of sounding like a prude, I feel it's time that someone said the following to the men who play football for a living: leave the pornography to the professionals.
I can imagine the feeling of wealth and fame is so magnificent that you'd want to document every moment of sheer, unadulterated power, but it's time that footballers realised that pressing record on their mobile device during sexual activity - especially in the company of other teammates and especially not in the company of your spouse - can cause all kinds of unexpected problems down the line.
Whatever about the trouble that they'll cause on your home front, sex tapes can get you in serious trouble with your hot-head boss.
And if things go really wrong and you somehow make a racist sex tape, sex tapes can even cost you your job AND your dad's job.
Lads, we've been in this business for a few years and we've never seen the media or society roundly praise the sexual antics of a group of footballers so we can say with some confidence that making sex tapes is a bad idea.
Do with this advice what you will.
