The Oxegen Festival. Three words that may send shivers down the spine of Ireland's music fans, with the extraordinary scenes of carnage at the festival juxtaposed against the star-studded lineups it would command.
Green Day, The Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Foo Fighters, The Killers, Coldplay, Jay-Z, and Beyoncé are just some of the names that headlined the Oxegen festival during its nine runs, with the final festival taking place in 2013.
However, the festival at Punchestown was also remembered for the insane scenes in the campsites and throughout the arena, with tents laying stricken - and, sometimes, on fire - and horrifying scenes at the toilet cubicles.
One Reddit user named PinguD posted in /r/ireland, asking people for their best stories from the 2009 Oxegen Festival. He led with an extraordinary statement which set the tone for the replies he would receive
What a fucking nightmare. I saw a man passed out outside a tent with a fresh turd planted on his back. I see him every time I close my eyes.
Quite the way to start our adventure through Oxegen memories - and the stories which followed did not disappoint.
Sensational Oxegen stories remembered on Reddit thread
As the Reddit thread grew, the parameters of the question moved past merely stories of the 2009 festival, and began to spill over into stories from other years.
https://www.reddit.com/r/ireland/comments/13zlr42/does_anyone_have_any_stories_from_oxegen_fest_2009/
We should mention that some of these stories are not necessarily for the faint of heart, but they are all absolutely hilarious, and capture perfectly a festival which more than one commenter ironically referred to as "Ireland's Vietnam."
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For many, festivals are the only time they will go near even attempting to pitch a tent, and plenty of the stories shared on the Reddit thread were about the scenes at the campsites. One read:
I remember walking through the piss mud, my friend walking on a completely flat tent and saying, 'oh sorry lads' sarcastically as if anyone could be in such a flat tent.
There was a groan and a head and torso began to rise from his footprint like the t1000 from terminator 2 if he was made out of tent material instead of mimetic poly alloy.
The state of the toilets was something which came up in many of the stories, with the portaloos of Punchestown struggling to cope with the horrifying mess thrown at them by festivalgoers.
One user remembered another lad who "did a shite the length of his arm and was signing autographs and taking pictures with it."
Another rather eloquently and horrifyingly said, "It was so wet and muddy that the toilets just became a feral swamp. I will never understand how there were no cholera or typhoid outbreaks at these things. People passed out, lying like Ozymandias in a soup of piss, rain, mud, shit, beer, and vomit. The stew was ankle deep on day one and it only got worse from there. I remember hardened festival goers opening portacabins and going "Oh fucking Jesus Christ no" while quickly slamming them closed again. I dared not see for myself what eldritch horrors lurked in those dimly lit olive green boxes."
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The chaos of the whole scenario is one of the most repeated memories from people in the /r/ireland thread. For many, Oxegen was their first experience of a festival, or anything akin to it, and brought with it some learning experiences. And, with drink and sometimes more involved, there were some bizarre clashes between the attendees.
One person said, "My friend got his cans robbed so he retaliatorily shat in the tent of the culprit when he found them."
Another story from the same commenter paints an unfortunately vivid picture of a horrifyingly hilarious scenario:
In the final hours of the festival we went on one of those fairground rides where you sit in a line and get spun around in circles. My friend had eaten a dodgy burrito and was 50/50 about it but we coaxed him into joining.
About 10 seconds into the ride he turns a patriotic shade of green and we are all fixated on him while praying that he didn't vom.
The ride finishes and he is just about able to mutter that he wasn't able to hold on much longer and that he needs a bathroom.
Then the ride announcer just says "It's the L-L-L-Last day of Oxegen so let's g-g-g-go again!" And gives us another free ride. My friend spewed. Everywhere. A lot of people caught some hydrochloric spray with bean and rice shrapnel.
Another said, "We had one of those tents with multiple rooms and an area in the middle. We came back one day and there was a phone in the middle area. It started to ring and it was the owner's father, he started screaming at us that he wanted to speak to his daughter. we said we had no idea so one of the guys started making moaning noises in the background to wind him up. We ended up going to the security tower and had them call her name over the loudspeaker and sure enough she came wandering out of a tent plastered. It was all fun and games until security found out she was 16 from the father on the phone and threw her out."
Some managed to find their way back from the brink, with one incredible story about a prodigal son's return to the campsite
One of the funniest things I remember from '09 is my friend disappearing on Thursday night, only to appear on the Sunday evening as everyone is going up to the main stage entrance, on a buggie with only three wheels (being dragged by some random lads he met on that Thursday night), in a full adult baby outfit and a do do in his mouth.
There were some rather unpleasant stories shared as well, with plenty of mention of physical fights and threats of violence, and some bemoaning the urge many have to spoil the friendly atmosphere which should be enjoyed at festivals.
Oxegen. Love it or loathe it, it's an indelible part of Irish pop culture history, and it seems the battle scars of the years of festivals in Punchestown will live with a generation for years to come.
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