It has been a long eight weeks in New Zealand for RTE. A long grind to get to the final. We’ve had the USA debacle, the three second delay and Ryle-gate. The end came yesterday morning with three wise men ready to bid adieu and get back to normality and with it the freedom to finish a sentence. A McGuirk-less world.
Brent Pope was nervous. So nervous he had a little stuffed Kiwi with him for good luck. He named it George. There are a few people (mostly Irish rugby players) who would argue that a stuffed Kiwi makes more sense than Hook or that George should have adopted his namesake’s silent approach to punditry.
He didn’t and instead started with a bombshell. “This is my last World Cup on television and I couldn’t have imagined a better final, the last outpost of the Empire against the standard bearer for the non-English speaking nations” Forget the medieval empire references, a last world cup for Hook? No more ranting soliloquies? No more nuggets of punditry gold such as questioning Tommy Bowe’s pace? No more ties?! Say it isn’t so George.
He brought a trademark gasp from Brent after suggesting France came into the final in terrific form. Marc Lievremont was something of a maverick genius. He wanted to lose to All Blacks in the pool stage. He wanted to lose against Tonga for some other reason. Too complicated for the rest of us to understand.
Conor O’Shea was his usual unflappable self, but ventured into the wild somewhat by saying he wanted the All Blacks to win. Hook as ever summoned history to explain why he wanted the French to prevail; after all they were kicked out of the five nations in the thirties and had a bit of bother after World War 2. He didn’t show the same allegiance to the Russians earlier on.
After the All Blacks trundled into the half-time lead, George was satisfied that France were putting up a fight while Popey continued to be worried, fretfully looking down at George the Kiwi wondering what was to become of them.
Back in the commentary box, after France had made it a one point game, Donal Linehan made a particularly strange mistake. Saying how after the Aussies beat the All Blacks in 2003 George Graham told them four more years. He of course meant Gregan but it was a strange slip of the tongue. Is Donal a gunner pining for the boring Arsenal?
The All Blacks closed it out soon after and George despite his love of France was delighted. Because of something to do with history and the tragic earthquake that shattered the country. He helpfully put that into perspective in case you would not appreciate that an earthquake is a serious issue. “Imagine this country if Cork was destroyed” George the Kiwi’s gravitas as a silent pundit was growing.
Hooky then summed up the two teams by describing France as his mistress and New Zealand at home doing the washing up. Brent was buying dinner for the lads and gave a shout out to Eddie Rockets. McGuirk was waiting to interrupt the stuffed animal. This may be the last time the panel is together for the big one. Tom will remain however; ready to pounce on the new guy.
It’s been a long eight weeks.
