Bish. Bash. Bosh.
These are just some of the 60's Batman-esque sound effects you hear when a hulking back row runs right over a teeny-tiny scrum-half. There have been a lot of words foisted upon players like Sean O'Brien and Cian Healy to describe their powerful ball carrying and we have decided to definitively rank the best ones.
Tank, bulldozer, battering ram - which is the most apt?
Lets start with the generic...
8. Powerhouse
This doesn't do anything for me. The phrase has been overused to the extent that even a scrum-half who makes a half-decent hit is referred to as a 'powerhouse'. It is hardly befitting of a Bastareaud or a Burger.
Although to be fair to Tomas O'Leary, this is a fairly crunching tackle...
7. Truck
Until we get another top class player called Buck, this isn't getting any higher.
6. Battering Ram
This is a decent description but it sort of refers to a player who is good at bludgeoning past the opposition for a few yards rather than boshing somebody in midfield and galloping free. CJ Stander is a great example of a battering ram - not because he doesn't make big breaks, because he does - but because he is unstoppable from a couple of yards out.
Munster bring in the battering ram when they need to break down the door.
5. Steamroller
Think it is better to say 'Nemani Nadolo steamrolled' someone rather than the 'steamroller Nemani Nadolo'.
4. Beast
Long before South Africa's Tendai Mtawarira came along, this was the go to word for describing any underage player who could execute a proper dump tackle.
3. Bulldozer
You should get used to using this adjective over the next few seasons, especially with the word Bangor before it. Ulster centre Stuart McCloskey has earned his nickname time and time again by using his 6'4, 17st frame to truck over hapless defenders.
Hopefully we are looking at a McCloskey/Robbie Henshaw centre partnership for the upcoming Six Nations. Who doesn't want to see this?
The Bangor Bulldozer's gonna bulldoze.
2. Tank
This is possibly the original adjective. A lot of people will remember playing a game of mini-rugby and lying on the ground after being trampled over while muttering, 'that lad is a tank...'.
Being an underage tank is probably one of the worst things that can happen to you because you end up thinking you can rampage past pipsqueaks at any level. Luckily for Ireland, Sean O'Brien still deserves his nickname after all this time.
Wrecking Ball
Before injuries slowed him down, this was the perfect way to contexualise Healy's outrageously powerful performances. Almost every time he took the field, there would be at least one carry worthy of a Youtube highlight. Here's hoping he can get some of his wrecking ball tendencies back before the end of the Six Nations.
