"A blank feeling." Those were the words that Damien Varley used to describe the emotion he felt sitting in the surgeon's room in London knowing his playing career was over.
Damien Varley Retirement Interview
Speaking to Hugh Cahill on GameOn, Varley spoke of the all too familiar and tragic feelings associated with a player being forced into retirement through injury.
It had been a long battle with the foot injury for Varley, originally sustained in a July pre-season session in 2013. The injury caused him to eventually have surgery last October, after managing the foot through the previous season. The surgery meant that he had to remove two thirds of the fascia in his foot. The fascia is a support structure in the foot, and after months of rehab; the surgeon has recommended to Varley that he should retire to preserve his quality of life.
Varley remarked that in one sense having the decision taken away from him made it easier, but also felt devasted at being told he couldn't play again.
You’re sitting across a desk from a guy, and he holds the future in his hands, so to speak. It’s tough to hear, and tough to deal with.
The injury means that his foot won't be able to sustain the pressures of scrummaging and mauling to the extent that a front row forward requires, and the advice given to Varley was to rehab the foot so he can get back to running in the long term. Issues with fascias are more common to runners, and plantar fasciitis often prevents runners from exerting any pressure on the foot for long periods of time.
Varley recalls the moment he knew he'd need surgery, which was in Munster's terrific victory over Leinster in the Aviva Stadium last October.
I felt my foot go and I couldn't come off - I had to finish the game due to different injuries - I remember knowing that the next possibility was surgery and breaking down on my own in the dressing room after.
It was such a contradictory moment because we were ecstatic after beating Leinster at the time and going on to have surgery and ultimately retire, it is overwhelming.
As for the future, Varley said that he wants to take a few months off. His first priority is rehabbing his foot so that he can have a good quality of life. After a few months, he will start thinking of the next chapter in his life.
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