You work hard. You try to save a bit for a rainy day. You give a hefty portion of your salary every month to finance bankrupt banks. And every year, around the second week of March, you willingly throw away your hard-earned cash based on advice given to you by a guy on the bus, your brother-in-law, that dude on Newstalk and/or a fat sports hack? There's something wrong here.
This year, in order to prove the utter stupidity of wasting money on Cheltenham, I've enlisted my girlfriend Mercedes - who knows nothing about the latest trends in horse-racing - to pick horses at random during three of the big races today (she'll be doing so throughout the week). If she lands even one winner, it's proof once and for all of the sheer idiocy of Cheltenham. Mercedes will go head to head with the experts and we'll see who comes out on top.
1.30 Supreme Novices Hurdle: For this race, Mercedes wrote all of the entrants onto pieces of paper and picked a name out of a plastic bag. Her choice is Gibb River (20/1). The Nicky Henderson-trained horse will be rode by A Tinkler, according to the betting sheet, which makes the choice even more intriguing. For what it's worth, Mercedes also likes the look of Recession Proof.
2.05 The Arkle: Mercedes changed her tactic this time and asked to have each of the horse's names read out loud. She found that Realt Dubh (7/1) had the most compelling name. Let's hope it's a Black Star afternoon.
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]3.20 Champion Hurdle No gimmicks for the big race. Mercedes examined the field, watched a race on Youtube and went for Khyber Kim (11/). It's a strong field, but we hope Khyber Kim might pull off a shock.
