When John Cena destroyed The Wyatt Family, including their highly-toted leader Bray Wyatt, to close out Raw a few weeks ago, it felt like they'd dropped the ball somewhat. Bray has inherited a mantle previously held by the likes of The Undertaker, Kane, Mankind and Jake 'The Snake' Roberts, in that he's the main 'gimmick' holder in the company today. Playing a hillbilly cult leader who urges fans to 'follow the buzzards', what makes Bray stand out is, like his predecessors, his conviction in delivering his weekly sermons. These characters can believably be thrust into any main event scenario and hold their own, or can add depth to a lacklustre card by their mere presence. After over a year's solid build to establish himself as a major player (feuding believably with Daniel Bryan, John Cena and Chris Jericho along the way), Bray became an asset to the company. So it felt a little counter-productive for him, all of a sudden, to be booked as redshirt-like fodder to establish Cena's credibility.
On that week's 'Low Blows' podcast, I posited that it may be a mistake, if rumours are to be believed that Brock Lesnar is to retain the WWE World Championship through next April's WrestleMania 31, to create such a gap between him, Cena and the rest of the roster given that he may have to defend the belt at least seven times at pay-per views between now and then. Having defeated Cena comprehensively at SummerSlam, if Cena can defeat another major SummerSlam winner with such ease, it may be a stretch to imagine anyone being a legitimate contender to Brock's title. And while fans are currently willing to give the part-time, dominant champion story a chance, the WWE Network has subscribers they need to pull in with Brock at the helm. Without any jeopardy hanging over his future title defences, why should people part with their $9.99 per month to watch him before his reported WrestleMania title loss? (My co-host, Don Marnell, pointed out that it's entirely possible that WWE higher-ups aren't thinking this far ahead at all)
Which got me thinking: in kayfabe terms, were one to compile a rankings list of people who could conceivably defeat people below them on the current (active) roster, how would that look according to today's WWE scripture? Thus I bring to you the WWE Power Rankings. We'll list these in descending order - since you can pretty much guess 1 and 2 and it gets more interesting from then on - with the theory being that each wrestler would, today, be booked to defeat the wrestler beneath him.
In the immediate aftermath, people have argued that Bray Wyatt's dismantling was ultimately meaningless and he could bounce back given the amount of time put into him beforehand, yet despite defeating Chris Jericho at SummerSlam and again in a cage just last week on Raw, he seems an afterthought since. Pro-wrestling is scripted, but perception is also reality and we can't unsee the sight of him being tossed away like stale bread by Super Cena. So do losses like this on television mean that much in the grand scheme? Is there some kind of discernable internal logic within WWE that we're not giving them credit for? Ahead of Lesnar and Cena's rematch at WWE Night of Champions this Sunday, let's find out...
1. Brock Lesnar
He defeated The Undertaker's WrestleMania Streak with (a possibly unscripted) ease. Many speculated that he was hand-picked by Taker for the loss, a rumour given credence in hindsight if you re-watch their brief face-off following one of Lesnar's UFC bouts that saw Taker ask him "Do you wanna do it?" We assumed, at the time, that they had personal issues that turned out to be total BS when we heard of Taker's respect for 'The Beast'. On his podcast, Steve Austin has hinted that he would consider coming out of retirement for a clash with Brock. Some of wrestling's most revered legends treat him with a god-like respect. He's a former UFC Heavyweight Champion who oozes legitimacy with his every stride. His box office record speaks for itself, in both WWE and UFC. He's lost just twice since his 2012 return, and cancelled one of those out with his SummerSlam mauling of Cena. When people realised that Daniel Bryan was likely originally pencilled into the SummerSlam main event instead of Cena, they became almost thankful for the latter's injury woes because no amount of hero worship would make it conceivable he could compete in an athletic contest against Brock. And he hasn't even defended the title once yet is already considered by fans to be the most dominant champion in years. Yeah, this isn't even close.
2. John Cena
What made Cena's loss at SummerSlam so refreshing was that it initially appeared to re-shuffle the pack in the WWE main event scene. Consensus opinion of Cena has evolved to the point of genuine respect for his tenure and accomplishments, but sheer fatigue and bemusement with him in the title picture (spoiler: he's turning heel on Monday following NOC, with Roman Reigns becoming the most likely victim - though that's merely a well-worn prediction from yours truly). So casually shrugging him aside, as Lesnar did, suddenly opened up a world of possibility with the days of Super Cena atop of the mountain seemingly over. That lasted a total of three days, until the next edition of Main Event when he was granted his rematch for this Sunday and then went onto humiliate The Wyatts on the following week's Raw. While it hasn't been bad, per se, to see a new, more vulnerable take on Cena over the past few weeks as the overmatched challenger, it feels like a missed opportunity to let him become truly vulnerable in favour of setting Super Cena and Super Lesnar so clearly apart as top dogs on the roster. He's an unquestionable number one contender facing a champion he can't believably beat. There's a reason that UFC hates scenarios like this and it's probably why you keep forgetting that their rematch is happening this Sunday.
3. Roman Reigns
The heir apparent to WWE's throne, the main reason for my prediction of Cena's impending heel turn isn't because of the blatant hints Paul Heyman has been dropping on TV every week, but because I think WWE realise they need something big to keep Reigns hot on the road to WrestleMania without having him in the title picture. Just last month I wrote about the comparisons between him and Randy Orton in 2004, when Orton's planned run from SummerSlam to Mania ran out of steam and his spot was granted to a Batista gaining unstoppable momentum. It's a huge ask for a young talent like Reigns, who had his first ever PPV main events just this year (both in multi-man matches), to stay fresh for so long. He simply doesn't have the arsenal yet. Having said that, it's still difficult to imagine anyone below being booked to beat him cleanly right now. This situation must be handled with care though.
4. Triple H
Yeah, yeah, he's had three matches in 2014 and lost all of them (think about that for a second: it's September and Triple H has a 0% win record for the year). No, he's not an active wrestler. But this isn't a Daniel Bryan situation where, upon returning, he can land just about anywhere on the card. Triple H has remained omnipresent and, thus, is the perfect litmus test for how serious WWE are about pushing future talent. You couldn't see anyone below pinning him cleanly without a massive leap in their booking fortunes, but WWE's hierarchy would mean nothing if he defeated anyone above without significant tomfoolery as a part of a larger narrative.
5. Rusev
This one is admittedly controversial when you read who's below, but bare with me. Picture the Raw after Night of Champions. Picture a still-undefeated, heel Rusev standing across the ring from a tweener Brock Lesnar getting cheered out of sheer beastliness. Picture Paul Heyman and Lana frantically shouting at both their respective clients and each other to calm tensions. Picture the crowd going apeshit for this scene. You can. You're probably intrigued by my ideas and would like to subscribe to my newsletter. This match would sell tickets and subscriptions out of sheer curiosity. It mightn't be pretty, but it'd be effective. Rusev fits here.
6. Seth Rollins
The current Money In The Bank holder, presumably until Roman Reigns wins the title at WrestleMania and Rollins cashes in, if not at WrestleMania itself then the Raw after, tops. Credit where it's due: WWE are doing a fantastic job with Rollins right now. He's exactly where he needs to be, slotting into main events on Raw without question or any particular pressure on his shoulders. Sure we all love Rollins, but that microscope zooms in closer and closer as you rise up the card and right now he's playing things so elusively that he's avoided any scrutiny while still managing to steal the show with the best match at SummerSlam (one that was saddled with a no-hope stipulation in a Lumberjack Match, to boot). It's safe to say that, amid all of our fears regarding a Shield break-up, we're currently experiencing Rollins' best case scenario. I fear he may hit his wall when the novelty of Reigns/Rollins wears off after the initial title belt hotshot, and he possibly gets sucked into what could be a Cena-like backlash against Reigns, but hey, I had fears he'd be working Dolph Ziggler during Raw commercial breaks before The Shield split occurred and he's already surpassed them. So why not dare to dream?
7. Sheamus
There's no doubt that Sheamus' career has hit a wall in recent times, despite being US Champion. His visa and injury issues haven't helped, but we're also witnessing a talented performer devoid of all booking novelty languishing when left to rely on skills that he just doesn't have to advance. I want Sheamus to succeed, I really do. But he can't pull the wool over the world's eyes as a babyface company figurehead. He just doesn't have the necessary bite. If this were 1999, he'd be Test or Big Boss Man - if needed he can step up for a bigger match but he's found his level without added inspiration. I'd love to see Sheamus reach down and channel another level that I've personally witnessed him channeling only once before (along with only one other person - I may share that story one day), but unless he experiences the requisite level of frustration and necessity then he'll just be another guy in the midcard happy to have a cushy job. And, you know what, that's okay. As far as this list goes, though, Sheamus' WWE/World title reigns mean the company are obliged to protect him in case an injury bug strikes and he's required to step up. He is to WWE what Juan Mata is to Louis van Gaal. It could be better, but it could also be a lot worse.
8. Randy Orton
You know what, fuck it, he's easy to mock but let's give Orton credit: for someone who was once just one Wellness Policy violation from having his contract terminated in recent memory, he's been one of the company's most stellar and reliable hands over the past year. They needed a guy to play foil to Daniel Bryan's mega-push? Orton was smarmy, loathsome and yet giving enough to get the job done. They needed to make The Shield matter for the big twist that was coming? Orton stepped up. They needed someone to get a match that was better than it had any right to be out of Roman Reigns at SummerSlam? Orton played a blinder in slowing the crowd down after all that had come before and picking the spots to let Reigns shine. That's a pro right there. Sure he forgets his lines and occasionally defecates in the odd co-workers luggage, but who among us is perfect when all's said and done? Orton gives WWE exactly what they need, when they need it. And the fact that he's at number 8 on this list but could probably jump at a moment's notice to any spot he wanted, if required, proves as much. Let's just hope that rumours of depression issues and burnout are greatly exaggerated or that he gets the help he needs, because Orton deserves to be proud of his recent stellar body of work.
9. Dean Ambrose
It hit me just how much upside Dean Ambrose has when I watched a match of his with a friend of mine who hasn't watched in years and he immediately became transfixed. "Who's that guy? He's fighting like it's real!" he said. That's big. Think of how much more credible the then-cartoon world of WWE instantly became when Stone Cold Steve Austin showed up. To me, lapsed wrestling fans are a result of both growing up and WWE not evolving with them through that process. If you were into the idea of guys pretend fighting at one stage, though, there's always that part of you that will want back in. And Dean Ambrose could be that guy for the huge lapsed fan market the WWE so desperately want to lure back with the Network. When I speak of Reigns' planned WrestleMania push being in danger of going the way of Orton's in 2004, Ambrose is the one to watch as a potential, Batista-like beneficiary who gains a ton of last minute momentum and sneaks in at Reigns' expense. The only thing holding him back is that it's not 1996, and instead of being forced to make new stars, WWE has the option of calling up a Brock Lesnar and coaxing him back with a big money offer. As a result, Ambrose is currently below Sheamus on this list, perhaps primed for a big push in the near future after his feud with Rollins subsides, but promises and potential don't pay the bills.
Before we round off this list, let's take a brief moment to wind all of you up with who you think should've been here instead look at the honourable mentions for this list:
Honourable Mentions: Dolph Ziggler (the current Intercontinental Champion is currently in the process of getting his 567th 'serious' push, but memories of midcard mediocrity still linger)...Bray Wyatt (seems like a forgotten afterthought in the wake of the Cena loss - his long-winded promos are entrancing but easy to switch off during, and if WWE tells us they don't matter then fans will do just that)...Chris Jericho (when you see him back these days, you know it's for the sole purpose of him losing to someone else, thereby disqualifying him from any potential participation in this list)...Kane (has won a grand total of three televised matches this year, and two of them were by disqualification: probably the most menacing jobber in the company today)...Cesaro (I'm picking him to beat Sheamus this Sunday, which will shake up this list somewhat, but until I see it happen he remains a massively dropped ball by WWE)...The Miz (does what he does well, but the fact is that his star has fallen so much that him winning the WrestleMania 27 feels like a bad dream)...Big Show (WWE's occasional pledges to take Big Show seriously should be taken about as seriously as your mate's declarations that he's never drinking again following a rough night out, but that does lead me quite nicely onto...)
10. Mark Henry
The latest dirtsheetz rumours involve Mark Henry and Big Show's pact, that they alluded to on a recent Raw broadcast, being based around teaming up to wrest the WWE World Championship from Brock Lesnar's waist. You hear that and, at first, you balk. Then you think about the match itself for a while and realise it'd probably be pretty good. Sure, Brock isn't coming back and getting paid handsomely to return the favour for two men who are in the autumn of their careers and don't need it, but how does he win unless Show and Henry do that typical wrestling cliché of being unable to agree who gets the pin? (Why do people go to the bother of making pacts like this then never discuss this inevitable occurrence?) The only obvious answer would be that Henry turns heel (since Big Show doing so has been done almost as much as Kane putting on, then taking off, the mask in recent times) and, if that's the case, could we see him go out on his WWE tenure the way most of us would like to remember him? As the unstoppable, bad ass putting people into the 'Hall of Pain'. After trying, literally, everything with Henry (hand babies included), WWE struck gold with him in 2011 by just making him a big, bad mofo. Who knew? And fans have been cool with this iteration of Henry ever since. So while memories of him smiling and kissing babies relegate him to 10th in this list, that could seriously change should the above come to pass.
WWE Night of Champions - Rick's Quick Picks
WWE World Heavyweight Champion, BROCK LESNAR over JOHN CENA
RANDY ORTON over CHRIS JERICHO
ROMAN REIGNS over SETH ROLLINS
RUSEV over MARK HENRY
Intercontinental Champion, DOLPH ZIGGLER over THE MIZ
CESARO over US Champion, SHEAMUS
GOLDUST & STARDUST over WWE Tag-Team Champions, THE USOS
Triple-Threat: NIKKI BELLA over Divas Champion, PAIGE & AJ LEE
Rick Nash is a former professional wrestler, the co-host of Balls.ie's official WWE podcast, Low Blows, and the founder of WWE Parties Ireland. He is also a DJ and terrible sports gambler, so feel free to share some tips with him on Twitter.
3. Roman Reigns
The heir apparent to WWE's throne, the main reason for my prediction of Cena's impending heel turn isn't because of the blatant hints Paul Heyman has been dropping on TV every week, but because I think WWE realise they need something big to keep Reigns hot on the road to WrestleMania without having him in the title picture. Just last month I wrote about the comparisons between him and Randy Orton in 2004, when Orton's planned run from SummerSlam to Mania ran out of steam and his spot was granted to a Batista gaining unstoppable momentum. It's a huge ask for a young talent like Reigns, who had his first ever PPV main events just this year (both in multi-man matches), to stay fresh for so long. He simply doesn't have the arsenal yet. Having said that, it's still difficult to imagine anyone below being booked to beat him cleanly right now. This situation must be handled with care though.
4. Triple H
Yeah, yeah, he's had three matches in 2014 and lost all of them (think about that for a second: it's September and Triple H has a 0% win record for the year). No, he's not an active wrestler. But this isn't a Daniel Bryan situation where, upon returning, he can land just about anywhere on the card. Triple H has remained omnipresent and, thus, is the perfect litmus test for how serious WWE are about pushing future talent. You couldn't see anyone below pinning him cleanly without a massive leap in their booking fortunes, but WWE's hierarchy would mean nothing if he defeated anyone above without significant tomfoolery as a part of a larger narrative.
5. Rusev
This one is admittedly controversial when you read who's below, but bare with me. Picture the Raw after Night of Champions. Picture a still-undefeated, heel Rusev standing across the ring from a tweener Brock Lesnar getting cheered out of sheer beastliness. Picture Paul Heyman and Lana frantically shouting at both their respective clients and each other to calm tensions. Picture the crowd going apeshit for this scene. You can. You're probably intrigued by my ideas and would like to subscribe to my newsletter. This match would sell tickets and subscriptions out of sheer curiosity. It mightn't be pretty, but it'd be effective. Rusev fits here.
6. Seth Rollins
The current Money In The Bank holder, presumably until Roman Reigns wins the title at WrestleMania and Rollins cashes in, if not at WrestleMania itself then the Raw after, tops. Credit where it's due: WWE are doing a fantastic job with Rollins right now. He's exactly where he needs to be, slotting into main events on Raw without question or any particular pressure on his shoulders. Sure we all love Rollins, but that microscope zooms in closer and closer as you rise up the card and right now he's playing things so elusively that he's avoided any scrutiny while still managing to steal the show with the best match at SummerSlam (one that was saddled with a no-hope stipulation in a Lumberjack Match, to boot). It's safe to say that, amid all of our fears regarding a Shield break-up, we're currently experiencing Rollins' best case scenario. I fear he may hit his wall when the novelty of Reigns/Rollins wears off after the initial title belt hotshot, and he possibly gets sucked into what could be a Cena-like backlash against Reigns, but hey, I had fears he'd be working Dolph Ziggler during Raw commercial breaks before The Shield split occurred and he's already surpassed them. So why not dare to dream?
7. Sheamus
There's no doubt that Sheamus' career has hit a wall in recent times, despite being US Champion. His visa and injury issues haven't helped, but we're also witnessing a talented performer devoid of all booking novelty languishing when left to rely on skills that he just doesn't have to advance. I want Sheamus to succeed, I really do. But he can't pull the wool over the world's eyes as a babyface company figurehead. He just doesn't have the necessary bite. If this were 1999, he'd be Test or Big Boss Man - if needed he can step up for a bigger match but he's found his level without added inspiration. I'd love to see Sheamus reach down and channel another level that I've personally witnessed him channeling only once before (along with only one other person - I may share that story one day), but unless he experiences the requisite level of frustration and necessity then he'll just be another guy in the midcard happy to have a cushy job. And, you know what, that's okay. As far as this list goes, though, Sheamus' WWE/World title reigns mean the company are obliged to protect him in case an injury bug strikes and he's required to step up. He is to WWE what Juan Mata is to Louis van Gaal. It could be better, but it could also be a lot worse.
8. Randy Orton
You know what, fuck it, he's easy to mock but let's give Orton credit: for someone who was once just one Wellness Policy violation from having his contract terminated in recent memory, he's been one of the company's most stellar and reliable hands over the past year. They needed a guy to play foil to Daniel Bryan's mega-push? Orton was smarmy, loathsome and yet giving enough to get the job done. They needed to make The Shield matter for the big twist that was coming? Orton stepped up. They needed someone to get a match that was better than it had any right to be out of Roman Reigns at SummerSlam? Orton played a blinder in slowing the crowd down after all that had come before and picking the spots to let Reigns shine. That's a pro right there. Sure he forgets his lines and occasionally defecates in the odd co-workers luggage, but who among us is perfect when all's said and done? Orton gives WWE exactly what they need, when they need it. And the fact that he's at number 8 on this list but could probably jump at a moment's notice to any spot he wanted, if required, proves as much. Let's just hope that rumours of depression issues and burnout are greatly exaggerated or that he gets the help he needs, because Orton deserves to be proud of his recent stellar body of work.
9. Dean Ambrose
It hit me just how much upside Dean Ambrose has when I watched a match of his with a friend of mine who hasn't watched in years and he immediately became transfixed. "Who's that guy? He's fighting like it's real!" he said. That's big. Think of how much more credible the then-cartoon world of WWE instantly became when Stone Cold Steve Austin showed up. To me, lapsed wrestling fans are a result of both growing up and WWE not evolving with them through that process. If you were into the idea of guys pretend fighting at one stage, though, there's always that part of you that will want back in. And Dean Ambrose could be that guy for the huge lapsed fan market the WWE so desperately want to lure back with the Network. When I speak of Reigns' planned WrestleMania push being in danger of going the way of Orton's in 2004, Ambrose is the one to watch as a potential, Batista-like beneficiary who gains a ton of last minute momentum and sneaks in at Reigns' expense. The only thing holding him back is that it's not 1996, and instead of being forced to make new stars, WWE has the option of calling up a Brock Lesnar and coaxing him back with a big money offer. As a result, Ambrose is currently below Sheamus on this list, perhaps primed for a big push in the near future after his feud with Rollins subsides, but promises and potential don't pay the bills.
Before we round off this list, let's take a brief moment to wind all of you up with who you think should've been here instead look at the honourable mentions for this list:
Honourable Mentions: Dolph Ziggler (the current Intercontinental Champion is currently in the process of getting his 567th 'serious' push, but memories of midcard mediocrity still linger)...Bray Wyatt (seems like a forgotten afterthought in the wake of the Cena loss - his long-winded promos are entrancing but easy to switch off during, and if WWE tells us they don't matter then fans will do just that)...Chris Jericho (when you see him back these days, you know it's for the sole purpose of him losing to someone else, thereby disqualifying him from any potential participation in this list)...Kane (has won a grand total of three televised matches this year, and two of them were by disqualification: probably the most menacing jobber in the company today)...Cesaro (I'm picking him to beat Sheamus this Sunday, which will shake up this list somewhat, but until I see it happen he remains a massively dropped ball by WWE)...The Miz (does what he does well, but the fact is that his star has fallen so much that him winning the WrestleMania 27 feels like a bad dream)...Big Show (WWE's occasional pledges to take Big Show seriously should be taken about as seriously as your mate's declarations that he's never drinking again following a rough night out, but that does lead me quite nicely onto...)
10. Mark Henry
The latest dirtsheetz rumours involve Mark Henry and Big Show's pact, that they alluded to on a recent Raw broadcast, being based around teaming up to wrest the WWE World Championship from Brock Lesnar's waist. You hear that and, at first, you balk. Then you think about the match itself for a while and realise it'd probably be pretty good. Sure, Brock isn't coming back and getting paid handsomely to return the favour for two men who are in the autumn of their careers and don't need it, but how does he win unless Show and Henry do that typical wrestling cliché of being unable to agree who gets the pin? (Why do people go to the bother of making pacts like this then never discuss this inevitable occurrence?) The only obvious answer would be that Henry turns heel (since Big Show doing so has been done almost as much as Kane putting on, then taking off, the mask in recent times) and, if that's the case, could we see him go out on his WWE tenure the way most of us would like to remember him? As the unstoppable, bad ass putting people into the 'Hall of Pain'. After trying, literally, everything with Henry (hand babies included), WWE struck gold with him in 2011 by just making him a big, bad mofo. Who knew? And fans have been cool with this iteration of Henry ever since. So while memories of him smiling and kissing babies relegate him to 10th in this list, that could seriously change should the above come to pass.
WWE Night of Champions - Rick's Quick Picks
WWE World Heavyweight Champion, BROCK LESNAR over JOHN CENA
RANDY ORTON over CHRIS JERICHO
ROMAN REIGNS over SETH ROLLINS
RUSEV over MARK HENRY
Intercontinental Champion, DOLPH ZIGGLER over THE MIZ
CESARO over US Champion, SHEAMUS
GOLDUST & STARDUST over WWE Tag-Team Champions, THE USOS
Triple-Threat: NIKKI BELLA over Divas Champion, PAIGE & AJ LEE
Rick Nash is a former professional wrestler, the co-host of Balls.ie's official WWE podcast, Low Blows, and the founder of WWE Parties Ireland. He is also a DJ and terrible sports gambler, so feel free to share some tips with him on Twitter.
5. Rusev
This one is admittedly controversial when you read who's below, but bare with me. Picture the Raw after Night of Champions. Picture a still-undefeated, heel Rusev standing across the ring from a tweener Brock Lesnar getting cheered out of sheer beastliness. Picture Paul Heyman and Lana frantically shouting at both their respective clients and each other to calm tensions. Picture the crowd going apeshit for this scene. You can. You're probably intrigued by my ideas and would like to subscribe to my newsletter. This match would sell tickets and subscriptions out of sheer curiosity. It mightn't be pretty, but it'd be effective. Rusev fits here.
6. Seth Rollins
The current Money In The Bank holder, presumably until Roman Reigns wins the title at WrestleMania and Rollins cashes in, if not at WrestleMania itself then the Raw after, tops. Credit where it's due: WWE are doing a fantastic job with Rollins right now. He's exactly where he needs to be, slotting into main events on Raw without question or any particular pressure on his shoulders. Sure we all love Rollins, but that microscope zooms in closer and closer as you rise up the card and right now he's playing things so elusively that he's avoided any scrutiny while still managing to steal the show with the best match at SummerSlam (one that was saddled with a no-hope stipulation in a Lumberjack Match, to boot). It's safe to say that, amid all of our fears regarding a Shield break-up, we're currently experiencing Rollins' best case scenario. I fear he may hit his wall when the novelty of Reigns/Rollins wears off after the initial title belt hotshot, and he possibly gets sucked into what could be a Cena-like backlash against Reigns, but hey, I had fears he'd be working Dolph Ziggler during Raw commercial breaks before The Shield split occurred and he's already surpassed them. So why not dare to dream?
7. Sheamus
There's no doubt that Sheamus' career has hit a wall in recent times, despite being US Champion. His visa and injury issues haven't helped, but we're also witnessing a talented performer devoid of all booking novelty languishing when left to rely on skills that he just doesn't have to advance. I want Sheamus to succeed, I really do. But he can't pull the wool over the world's eyes as a babyface company figurehead. He just doesn't have the necessary bite. If this were 1999, he'd be Test or Big Boss Man - if needed he can step up for a bigger match but he's found his level without added inspiration. I'd love to see Sheamus reach down and channel another level that I've personally witnessed him channeling only once before (along with only one other person - I may share that story one day), but unless he experiences the requisite level of frustration and necessity then he'll just be another guy in the midcard happy to have a cushy job. And, you know what, that's okay. As far as this list goes, though, Sheamus' WWE/World title reigns mean the company are obliged to protect him in case an injury bug strikes and he's required to step up. He is to WWE what Juan Mata is to Louis van Gaal. It could be better, but it could also be a lot worse.
8. Randy Orton
You know what, fuck it, he's easy to mock but let's give Orton credit: for someone who was once just one Wellness Policy violation from having his contract terminated in recent memory, he's been one of the company's most stellar and reliable hands over the past year. They needed a guy to play foil to Daniel Bryan's mega-push? Orton was smarmy, loathsome and yet giving enough to get the job done. They needed to make The Shield matter for the big twist that was coming? Orton stepped up. They needed someone to get a match that was better than it had any right to be out of Roman Reigns at SummerSlam? Orton played a blinder in slowing the crowd down after all that had come before and picking the spots to let Reigns shine. That's a pro right there. Sure he forgets his lines and occasionally defecates in the odd co-workers luggage, but who among us is perfect when all's said and done? Orton gives WWE exactly what they need, when they need it. And the fact that he's at number 8 on this list but could probably jump at a moment's notice to any spot he wanted, if required, proves as much. Let's just hope that rumours of depression issues and burnout are greatly exaggerated or that he gets the help he needs, because Orton deserves to be proud of his recent stellar body of work.
9. Dean Ambrose
It hit me just how much upside Dean Ambrose has when I watched a match of his with a friend of mine who hasn't watched in years and he immediately became transfixed. "Who's that guy? He's fighting like it's real!" he said. That's big. Think of how much more credible the then-cartoon world of WWE instantly became when Stone Cold Steve Austin showed up. To me, lapsed wrestling fans are a result of both growing up and WWE not evolving with them through that process. If you were into the idea of guys pretend fighting at one stage, though, there's always that part of you that will want back in. And Dean Ambrose could be that guy for the huge lapsed fan market the WWE so desperately want to lure back with the Network. When I speak of Reigns' planned WrestleMania push being in danger of going the way of Orton's in 2004, Ambrose is the one to watch as a potential, Batista-like beneficiary who gains a ton of last minute momentum and sneaks in at Reigns' expense. The only thing holding him back is that it's not 1996, and instead of being forced to make new stars, WWE has the option of calling up a Brock Lesnar and coaxing him back with a big money offer. As a result, Ambrose is currently below Sheamus on this list, perhaps primed for a big push in the near future after his feud with Rollins subsides, but promises and potential don't pay the bills.
Before we round off this list, let's take a brief moment to wind all of you up with who you think should've been here instead look at the honourable mentions for this list:
Honourable Mentions: Dolph Ziggler (the current Intercontinental Champion is currently in the process of getting his 567th 'serious' push, but memories of midcard mediocrity still linger)...Bray Wyatt (seems like a forgotten afterthought in the wake of the Cena loss - his long-winded promos are entrancing but easy to switch off during, and if WWE tells us they don't matter then fans will do just that)...Chris Jericho (when you see him back these days, you know it's for the sole purpose of him losing to someone else, thereby disqualifying him from any potential participation in this list)...Kane (has won a grand total of three televised matches this year, and two of them were by disqualification: probably the most menacing jobber in the company today)...Cesaro (I'm picking him to beat Sheamus this Sunday, which will shake up this list somewhat, but until I see it happen he remains a massively dropped ball by WWE)...The Miz (does what he does well, but the fact is that his star has fallen so much that him winning the WrestleMania 27 feels like a bad dream)...Big Show (WWE's occasional pledges to take Big Show seriously should be taken about as seriously as your mate's declarations that he's never drinking again following a rough night out, but that does lead me quite nicely onto...)
10. Mark Henry
The latest dirtsheetz rumours involve Mark Henry and Big Show's pact, that they alluded to on a recent Raw broadcast, being based around teaming up to wrest the WWE World Championship from Brock Lesnar's waist. You hear that and, at first, you balk. Then you think about the match itself for a while and realise it'd probably be pretty good. Sure, Brock isn't coming back and getting paid handsomely to return the favour for two men who are in the autumn of their careers and don't need it, but how does he win unless Show and Henry do that typical wrestling cliché of being unable to agree who gets the pin? (Why do people go to the bother of making pacts like this then never discuss this inevitable occurrence?) The only obvious answer would be that Henry turns heel (since Big Show doing so has been done almost as much as Kane putting on, then taking off, the mask in recent times) and, if that's the case, could we see him go out on his WWE tenure the way most of us would like to remember him? As the unstoppable, bad ass putting people into the 'Hall of Pain'. After trying, literally, everything with Henry (hand babies included), WWE struck gold with him in 2011 by just making him a big, bad mofo. Who knew? And fans have been cool with this iteration of Henry ever since. So while memories of him smiling and kissing babies relegate him to 10th in this list, that could seriously change should the above come to pass.
WWE Night of Champions - Rick's Quick Picks
WWE World Heavyweight Champion, BROCK LESNAR over JOHN CENA
RANDY ORTON over CHRIS JERICHO
ROMAN REIGNS over SETH ROLLINS
RUSEV over MARK HENRY
Intercontinental Champion, DOLPH ZIGGLER over THE MIZ
CESARO over US Champion, SHEAMUS
GOLDUST & STARDUST over WWE Tag-Team Champions, THE USOS
Triple-Threat: NIKKI BELLA over Divas Champion, PAIGE & AJ LEE
Rick Nash is a former professional wrestler, the co-host of Balls.ie's official WWE podcast, Low Blows, and the founder of WWE Parties Ireland. He is also a DJ and terrible sports gambler, so feel free to share some tips with him on Twitter.
7. Sheamus
There's no doubt that Sheamus' career has hit a wall in recent times, despite being US Champion. His visa and injury issues haven't helped, but we're also witnessing a talented performer devoid of all booking novelty languishing when left to rely on skills that he just doesn't have to advance. I want Sheamus to succeed, I really do. But he can't pull the wool over the world's eyes as a babyface company figurehead. He just doesn't have the necessary bite. If this were 1999, he'd be Test or Big Boss Man - if needed he can step up for a bigger match but he's found his level without added inspiration. I'd love to see Sheamus reach down and channel another level that I've personally witnessed him channeling only once before (along with only one other person - I may share that story one day), but unless he experiences the requisite level of frustration and necessity then he'll just be another guy in the midcard happy to have a cushy job. And, you know what, that's okay. As far as this list goes, though, Sheamus' WWE/World title reigns mean the company are obliged to protect him in case an injury bug strikes and he's required to step up. He is to WWE what Juan Mata is to Louis van Gaal. It could be better, but it could also be a lot worse.
8. Randy Orton
You know what, fuck it, he's easy to mock but let's give Orton credit: for someone who was once just one Wellness Policy violation from having his contract terminated in recent memory, he's been one of the company's most stellar and reliable hands over the past year. They needed a guy to play foil to Daniel Bryan's mega-push? Orton was smarmy, loathsome and yet giving enough to get the job done. They needed to make The Shield matter for the big twist that was coming? Orton stepped up. They needed someone to get a match that was better than it had any right to be out of Roman Reigns at SummerSlam? Orton played a blinder in slowing the crowd down after all that had come before and picking the spots to let Reigns shine. That's a pro right there. Sure he forgets his lines and occasionally defecates in the odd co-workers luggage, but who among us is perfect when all's said and done? Orton gives WWE exactly what they need, when they need it. And the fact that he's at number 8 on this list but could probably jump at a moment's notice to any spot he wanted, if required, proves as much. Let's just hope that rumours of depression issues and burnout are greatly exaggerated or that he gets the help he needs, because Orton deserves to be proud of his recent stellar body of work.
9. Dean Ambrose
It hit me just how much upside Dean Ambrose has when I watched a match of his with a friend of mine who hasn't watched in years and he immediately became transfixed. "Who's that guy? He's fighting like it's real!" he said. That's big. Think of how much more credible the then-cartoon world of WWE instantly became when Stone Cold Steve Austin showed up. To me, lapsed wrestling fans are a result of both growing up and WWE not evolving with them through that process. If you were into the idea of guys pretend fighting at one stage, though, there's always that part of you that will want back in. And Dean Ambrose could be that guy for the huge lapsed fan market the WWE so desperately want to lure back with the Network. When I speak of Reigns' planned WrestleMania push being in danger of going the way of Orton's in 2004, Ambrose is the one to watch as a potential, Batista-like beneficiary who gains a ton of last minute momentum and sneaks in at Reigns' expense. The only thing holding him back is that it's not 1996, and instead of being forced to make new stars, WWE has the option of calling up a Brock Lesnar and coaxing him back with a big money offer. As a result, Ambrose is currently below Sheamus on this list, perhaps primed for a big push in the near future after his feud with Rollins subsides, but promises and potential don't pay the bills.
Before we round off this list, let's take a brief moment to wind all of you up with who you think should've been here instead look at the honourable mentions for this list:
Honourable Mentions: Dolph Ziggler (the current Intercontinental Champion is currently in the process of getting his 567th 'serious' push, but memories of midcard mediocrity still linger)...Bray Wyatt (seems like a forgotten afterthought in the wake of the Cena loss - his long-winded promos are entrancing but easy to switch off during, and if WWE tells us they don't matter then fans will do just that)...Chris Jericho (when you see him back these days, you know it's for the sole purpose of him losing to someone else, thereby disqualifying him from any potential participation in this list)...Kane (has won a grand total of three televised matches this year, and two of them were by disqualification: probably the most menacing jobber in the company today)...Cesaro (I'm picking him to beat Sheamus this Sunday, which will shake up this list somewhat, but until I see it happen he remains a massively dropped ball by WWE)...The Miz (does what he does well, but the fact is that his star has fallen so much that him winning the WrestleMania 27 feels like a bad dream)...Big Show (WWE's occasional pledges to take Big Show seriously should be taken about as seriously as your mate's declarations that he's never drinking again following a rough night out, but that does lead me quite nicely onto...)
10. Mark Henry
The latest dirtsheetz rumours involve Mark Henry and Big Show's pact, that they alluded to on a recent Raw broadcast, being based around teaming up to wrest the WWE World Championship from Brock Lesnar's waist. You hear that and, at first, you balk. Then you think about the match itself for a while and realise it'd probably be pretty good. Sure, Brock isn't coming back and getting paid handsomely to return the favour for two men who are in the autumn of their careers and don't need it, but how does he win unless Show and Henry do that typical wrestling cliché of being unable to agree who gets the pin? (Why do people go to the bother of making pacts like this then never discuss this inevitable occurrence?) The only obvious answer would be that Henry turns heel (since Big Show doing so has been done almost as much as Kane putting on, then taking off, the mask in recent times) and, if that's the case, could we see him go out on his WWE tenure the way most of us would like to remember him? As the unstoppable, bad ass putting people into the 'Hall of Pain'. After trying, literally, everything with Henry (hand babies included), WWE struck gold with him in 2011 by just making him a big, bad mofo. Who knew? And fans have been cool with this iteration of Henry ever since. So while memories of him smiling and kissing babies relegate him to 10th in this list, that could seriously change should the above come to pass.
WWE Night of Champions - Rick's Quick Picks
WWE World Heavyweight Champion, BROCK LESNAR over JOHN CENA
RANDY ORTON over CHRIS JERICHO
ROMAN REIGNS over SETH ROLLINS
RUSEV over MARK HENRY
Intercontinental Champion, DOLPH ZIGGLER over THE MIZ
CESARO over US Champion, SHEAMUS
GOLDUST & STARDUST over WWE Tag-Team Champions, THE USOS
Triple-Threat: NIKKI BELLA over Divas Champion, PAIGE & AJ LEE
Rick Nash is a former professional wrestler, the co-host of Balls.ie's official WWE podcast, Low Blows, and the founder of WWE Parties Ireland. He is also a DJ and terrible sports gambler, so feel free to share some tips with him on Twitter.
9. Dean Ambrose
It hit me just how much upside Dean Ambrose has when I watched a match of his with a friend of mine who hasn't watched in years and he immediately became transfixed. "Who's that guy? He's fighting like it's real!" he said. That's big. Think of how much more credible the then-cartoon world of WWE instantly became when Stone Cold Steve Austin showed up. To me, lapsed wrestling fans are a result of both growing up and WWE not evolving with them through that process. If you were into the idea of guys pretend fighting at one stage, though, there's always that part of you that will want back in. And Dean Ambrose could be that guy for the huge lapsed fan market the WWE so desperately want to lure back with the Network. When I speak of Reigns' planned WrestleMania push being in danger of going the way of Orton's in 2004, Ambrose is the one to watch as a potential, Batista-like beneficiary who gains a ton of last minute momentum and sneaks in at Reigns' expense. The only thing holding him back is that it's not 1996, and instead of being forced to make new stars, WWE has the option of calling up a Brock Lesnar and coaxing him back with a big money offer. As a result, Ambrose is currently below Sheamus on this list, perhaps primed for a big push in the near future after his feud with Rollins subsides, but promises and potential don't pay the bills.
Before we round off this list, let's take a brief moment to wind all of you up with who you think should've been here instead look at the honourable mentions for this list:
Honourable Mentions: Dolph Ziggler (the current Intercontinental Champion is currently in the process of getting his 567th 'serious' push, but memories of midcard mediocrity still linger)...Bray Wyatt (seems like a forgotten afterthought in the wake of the Cena loss - his long-winded promos are entrancing but easy to switch off during, and if WWE tells us they don't matter then fans will do just that)...Chris Jericho (when you see him back these days, you know it's for the sole purpose of him losing to someone else, thereby disqualifying him from any potential participation in this list)...Kane (has won a grand total of three televised matches this year, and two of them were by disqualification: probably the most menacing jobber in the company today)...Cesaro (I'm picking him to beat Sheamus this Sunday, which will shake up this list somewhat, but until I see it happen he remains a massively dropped ball by WWE)...The Miz (does what he does well, but the fact is that his star has fallen so much that him winning the WrestleMania 27 feels like a bad dream)...Big Show (WWE's occasional pledges to take Big Show seriously should be taken about as seriously as your mate's declarations that he's never drinking again following a rough night out, but that does lead me quite nicely onto...)
10. Mark Henry
The latest dirtsheetz rumours involve Mark Henry and Big Show's pact, that they alluded to on a recent Raw broadcast, being based around teaming up to wrest the WWE World Championship from Brock Lesnar's waist. You hear that and, at first, you balk. Then you think about the match itself for a while and realise it'd probably be pretty good. Sure, Brock isn't coming back and getting paid handsomely to return the favour for two men who are in the autumn of their careers and don't need it, but how does he win unless Show and Henry do that typical wrestling cliché of being unable to agree who gets the pin? (Why do people go to the bother of making pacts like this then never discuss this inevitable occurrence?) The only obvious answer would be that Henry turns heel (since Big Show doing so has been done almost as much as Kane putting on, then taking off, the mask in recent times) and, if that's the case, could we see him go out on his WWE tenure the way most of us would like to remember him? As the unstoppable, bad ass putting people into the 'Hall of Pain'. After trying, literally, everything with Henry (hand babies included), WWE struck gold with him in 2011 by just making him a big, bad mofo. Who knew? And fans have been cool with this iteration of Henry ever since. So while memories of him smiling and kissing babies relegate him to 10th in this list, that could seriously change should the above come to pass.
WWE Night of Champions - Rick's Quick Picks
WWE World Heavyweight Champion, BROCK LESNAR over JOHN CENA
RANDY ORTON over CHRIS JERICHO
ROMAN REIGNS over SETH ROLLINS
RUSEV over MARK HENRY
Intercontinental Champion, DOLPH ZIGGLER over THE MIZ
CESARO over US Champion, SHEAMUS
GOLDUST & STARDUST over WWE Tag-Team Champions, THE USOS
Triple-Threat: NIKKI BELLA over Divas Champion, PAIGE & AJ LEE
Rick Nash is a former professional wrestler, the co-host of Balls.ie's official WWE podcast, Low Blows, and the founder of WWE Parties Ireland. He is also a DJ and terrible sports gambler, so feel free to share some tips with him on Twitter.
Rick Nash is a former professional wrestler, the co-host of Balls.ie's official WWE podcast, Low Blows, and the founder of WWE Parties Ireland. He is also a DJ and terrible sports gambler, so feel free to share some tips with him on Twitter.
