Just as you never judge a book by its cover, never judge a WWE pay-per view by lacklustre hype. Having had five weeks following SummerSlam to build a stellar card around well-developed storylines, WWE got the first half right but were so far off the mark with the second half (getting into panic mode as the NFL came back around the same time a large number of WWE Network subscriptions were due to be renewed) that you barely realised.
Night of Champions was better than it had any right to be, especially when you consider that one of its main matches was cancelled as Roman Reigns suffered an incarcerated hernia the day before the show. That was counterbalanced by Dean Ambrose returning to brawl with longtime foe, Seth Rollins, whose night wasn't yet done with.
It was a night filled with title changes and victories that confounded the bookies' pre-match odds. On last week's episode of the 'Low Blows' podcast, I shared my theory that they would unify the Intercontinental/US Championships, meaning that either a combination of Dolph Ziggler and Cesaro or Sheamus and The Miz would win.
While most (bookies included) pulled for the former scenario, the latter transpired as Sheamus retained his US Title and Miz regained after interference from Damien 'Mizdow'.
AJ Lee was another beneficiary of WWE's need to shake things up, as she made Paige tap out to win the Divas Championship for a third time. In the evening's opening contest, Stardust and Goldust brought an anti-climactic end to a stellar Usos Tag-Team Championship reign. Randy Orton defeated Chris Jericho as the latter brought his most recent run with WWE to an end. Plus Rusev continued to be the unstoppable force as he downed the immovable object of Mark Henry.
Then it was time for the night's main event.
The story of John Cena and Brock Lesnar seemed to lean towards either a Cena win to banish the ghost of his one-sided loss at SummerSlam or a second Cena defeat leading to a long-awaited heel turn. As the intense battle progressed, it seemed certain that the former would take place and the Internet would explode, as Cena hit Lesnar with four Attitude Adjustments and constantly locked him in the STF.
That was until Option C became apparent in the form of Seth Rollins, who interfered and caused a DQ by hitting Cena with the briefcase, curb-stomping Lesnar and appearing to cash-in his Money In The Bank briefcase. That was until Cena arose from the dead and attacked Rollins, then took an F5 from Brock for his troubles. No finish, but plenty to think about as Hell In A Cell approaches.
Here are the highlights of the night's action, in tweets and GIFs.
Booker-T interviewed Goldust on the kickoff show, bringing back memories...
Booker and Goldust -- better times http://t.co/FXrsq2dht9 #WWENOC
— The History of WWE (@TheHistoryofWWE) September 21, 2014
Jericho and Christian had some awkward 'banter' on a special edition of the 'Peep Show' before the main show began...
"The Peep Show segment was awesome," said nobody over the age of 11. — Kayfabe News (@KayfabeNews) September 21, 2014
The end of an era...
last free ppv on sky sports ever, make the most of it friends #WWENOC
— vicki with an i (@vickerrooo) September 22, 2014
Goldust's 'black face' make up got a lot of comments on Twitter...
Oh hey Goldust, I really like your Mel Gibson 'Man Without a Face' PPV makeup. #WWENOC — Top Rope Tuesday (@TopRopeTuesday) September 22, 2014
That's a good point actually...
The Usos have tattoos on their nipples but Stardust is the crazy one? #WWENOC
— WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) September 22, 2014
This stat seems impressive until you realise it also applies to the one other team in the match...
Gold & Stardust join other notable teams to wear both facepaint & tag titles, like The Usos (WWE), Demolition (World) & Dark Carnival (WCW). — WWE Stats & Info (@WWEStats) September 22, 2014
Make the most of it guys...
The United States Championship is being defended. This won't happen again until WrestleMania 31 kickoff show. #WWENOC
— CurtainJerks (@CurtainJerks) September 22, 2014
Meh, a little bit of column A, a little bit of column B...
One from Dublin, one from Switzerland. I guess Cole couldn't bothered to look up Cesaro's hometown, or he thinks Dublin is a country. — Alice Radley (@AliceRadley) September 22, 2014
Ireland's own NXT star, Becky Lynch, is a mad one for the puns...
I guess @WWECesaro just proved why he's an uppercut above the rest
— Becky Lynch (@BeckyLynchWWE) September 22, 2014
Sheamus went for a clumsy Brogue Kick...
Sheamus miss-kicking like that useless lad that always shows up to Sunday League here. #USTitle #WWENOC — Paul McGrath (@WesterosBatman) September 22, 2014
For the week that's in it, this needs to be noted...
Sheamus's win is great remember that Ireland is a free Country while @scotland is under the thumb of the English.
— rovert (@SoDuTw) September 22, 2014
Before his match with Rusev, Big Show presented Mark Henry with USA-coloured ring gear...
How did Big Show know Mark Henry's measurements to get ring gear made for him? #WWENOC — Justin LaBar (@JustinLaBar) September 22, 2014
Country music act, Florida Georgia Line, were on guest commentary and hogged the airwaves as Miz challenged Dolph Ziggler...
Why are you interviewing these dickheads during the IC match?
— JBeekL (@JaimsVanDerBeek) September 22, 2014
Iron Shiek was not amused...
HELLO @FLAGALine WHAT HAPPEN WHEN I BREAK YOUR FUCKING NECKS AND MAKE THE LINE IN YOUR ASS AFTER I HUMBLE YOU OLD COUNTRY WAY #WWENOC — The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) September 22, 2014
They became the latest in a long line of famous people to deck Damien Sandow...
Sandow has been punched by more celebrities than Paris Hilton has been boned by. #WWENoC
— Rick Nash (@AMTRick) September 22, 2014
...who looked eerily like somebody we couldn't quite place in his Miz-tribute ring attire...
. @TheDamienSandow looks like Professor Snape. #ICTitle #WWE — Billy Kidman (@WWEKidman) September 22, 2014
After his loss, Ziggler made everyone feel bad for cursing him for ruining their accas...
I talk about being the best, yet didnt deliver. wanted to make that title mean as much to you as it does to me. Im sorry @wwe
— Dolph Ziggler (@HEELZiggler) September 22, 2014
Dean Ambrose showed up in a cab for Seth Rollins' open challenge to the roster...
Ambrose didn't pay for that taxi? How did a cab enter the arena and at no point was ambrose stopped by security personnel? #WWENOC — Scott Murray (@scottmurray27) September 22, 2014
His timing was impeccable...
Damn! Perfect timing with that cab! Uncanny
— Tom Prichard (@drtomprichard) September 22, 2014
But the ensuing brawl was broken up by Triple H and security, who tied him up...
HHH keeps zip ties handy #WWENOC — Price: Low to High (@Miss_Dani_Baby) September 22, 2014
Mark Henry broke into tears as the American national anthem was sung before his match. It was cheesy...
I want Henry to lose because of this.
— HEELWrestling (@HEELWrestling) September 22, 2014
Or at least we thought they were tears...
Mark Henry even sweats out if his eyeballs. — Kayfabe News (@KayfabeNews) September 22, 2014
Alas, Rusev's winning streak lives on...
Only Tim Howard can stop Rusev.
— Traff (@traff0rd) September 22, 2014
This really put it all into perspective...
Mark Henry crying over the Star Spangled Banner & then fighting a Russian who isn't even Russian is the Wrestling-est thing ever. #WWENOC — Thom Smith (@PBC13) September 22, 2014
I think this is how wrestling works now...
It's almost halftime in Panthers-Steelers game. Does that mean Cena vs. Lesnar starts in 47 seconds?
— Wade Keller (@thewadekeller) September 22, 2014
Next up was Randy Orton vs Chris Jericho...
The most interesting thing about this match is wondering if Orton has grey hairs in his beard or if it's just the light. — MaffewOfBotchamania (@Maffewgregg) September 22, 2014
This summed up the result...
Asshole Cousin just beat Cool Dad.
— GayRasslinFan (@GayWrestlingFan) September 22, 2014
Interesting side-note to the Paige/AJ/Nikki Bella pre-match package...
Despite the way @RealPaigeWWE looks this video package wasn't in black and white. #WWENOC — WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) September 22, 2014
People tend to run, quite quickly, in the opposite direction...
I’ve started unzipping my coat like Paige. Surprisingly, not as sexy. #WWENoC
— Rick Nash (@AMTRick) September 22, 2014
They really pulled out all the stops for the Divas match... Leading to much hyperbole on Twitter...
Best WWE Triple Threat matches: 1) Michaels-Triple H-Benoit 2) That — David Shoemaker (@AKATheMaskedMan) September 22, 2014
Time for Cena/Lesnar. Would Cena be dominated again?
This is what happens when you bring a knife to a nuclear holocaust. #WWENOC
— WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) September 22, 2014
I don't get this joke, but it seems like something that some people may find funny...
@Maffewgregg Brock looks like he's building up the rage meter from Samurai Shodown. — Adam Hong (@Yggy87) September 22, 2014
In a snug match, Cena had Brock bleeding from the nose at one stage...
God bless the fan who just screamed "If it bleeds, we can kill it."
— Kayfabe News (@KayfabeNews) September 22, 2014
Seth Rollins' interference led to mass excitement...
...quickly followed by mass disappointment...
Is the new WWE Network strategy to give you a PPV finish you wouldn't pay more than $9.99 to see? — Stephen Totilo (@stephentotilo) September 22, 2014
Which left many feeling the same way...
Symptoms associated with B-Show WWE PPVs include: Blue balls.
— MaffewOfBotchamania (@Maffewgregg) September 22, 2014
WWE Night Of Champions - Quick Results
GOLDUST & STARDUST defeated WWE Tag-Team Champions, THE USOS (Title Change)
US Champion, SHEAMUS defeated CESARO
THE MIZ defeated Intercontinental Champion, DOLPH ZIGGLER (Title Change)
RUSEV defeated MARK HENRY
RANDY ORTON defeated CHRIS JERICHO
AJ LEE defeated Divas Champion, PAIGE & NIKKI BELLA (Title Change)
JOHN CENA defeated WWE World Champion, BROCK LESNAR by disqualification. Lesnar retains.
Rick Nash is a former professional wrestler, the co-host of Balls.ie's official WWE podcast, Low Blows, and the founder of WWE Parties Ireland. He is also a DJ and terrible sports gambler, so feel free to share some tips with him on Twitter.
