And so WWE Extreme Rules is in the books. It was an event that, depending on when you were looking, was either flirting with brilliance or farce. Or was the farce brilliant? From the moment Hornswoggle and El Torito did battle on the pre-show with little ladders, tables, chairs, announcers and referees, it all felt a bit surreal and perversely enjoyable. The Shield and Evolution predictably stole the show with their six-man tag-team match that ended with Seth Rollins doing a stage dive and Roman Reigns pinning the outgoing Batista. Daniel Bryan retained his WWE World Title match in an absolutely insane Extreme Rules match that ended with him putting Kane through a burning table. Bray Wyatt got the win over John Cena after a young child interfered to mime the lyrics of 'He's got the whole world in his hands...' to a badly-distorted voiceover. Meanwhile, Bad News Barrett won the Intercontinental Title as predicted, Paige retained her Divas belt, Alexander Rusev destroyed R-Truth and Xavier Woods and Cesaro outlasted Rob Van Dam and Jack Swagger in the night's opening bout.
Here is the best of the night's action, according to Twitter...
The WWE went all out for the WeeLC pre-show match, recruiting Micro Cole, Jerry Smaller and JBElf to call the action...
#weeLCmatchpic.twitter.com/aqlLFwzElD
— Mark Yeaton (@WWETimekeeper) May 4, 2014
Of course the Internet exploded as all of this transpired...
PLEASE COME BACK FROM THE BREAK WITH MICRO COLE TEACHING US HOW TO USE THE APP!!! @WWENetwork @WrestleRumors #wweextremerules
— Brian M. Gang (@RealBriGang) May 4, 2014
"Wee-C-Dub! Wee-C-Dub!"
— Davis Shoemaker (@AKATheMaskedMan) May 4, 2014
Maffew's non-wrestling friend decided to watch one of the more surreal WWE pay-per views in recent memory...
My non-wrestling friend: I hope he gets a gun from under the ring. Remember, they can't arrest him because it's NO DQ.
— MaffewOfBotchamania (@Maffewgregg) May 5, 2014
Michael Cole forgot the opening match was elimination and got confused once RVD pinned Swagger...
@McGrath91 @AMTRick Micro Cole, Jerry Smaller and JB-Elf wouldn't have made that mistake!
— Don Marnell (@LandfillKennedy) May 5, 2014
Poor R-Truth...
What's up? Your loss record.
— NotTripleH (@NotTripleH) May 5, 2014
A bit racially insensitive, but then again WWE booked it as such...
My non-wrestling mate: ''That match was just Rocky IV''
— MaffewOfBotchamania (@Maffewgregg) May 5, 2014
He needs SOMETHING new anyway...
Big E's new slogan: "I'm afraid I've got some big boobs for you."
— Kayfabe News (@KayfabeNews) May 5, 2014
Vince Russo has been reduced to trolling WWE fans online these days...
Think Barrett won't be back as jobber to the stars tomorrow? I've got some bad news for you... #WWE#ExtremeRules
— Vince Russo (@MrVinceRusso) May 5, 2014
It was time for Evolution vs The Shield...
#Evolution got the band back to together. Unfortunately, that band is the wrestling equivalent of Creed. #ExtremeRules
— Marty DeRosa (@MartyDeRosa) May 5, 2014
I was saying Booty-Star...
They're either saying Boo-tista or Booty-Star in reference to @DaveBautista's trunks. #ExtremeRules
— WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) May 5, 2014
Seth Rollins did what Seth Rollins does...
.@WWERollins just had his #ExtremeRules moment pic.twitter.com/ATvUkQ8bEN
— WWE (@WWE) May 5, 2014
'Believe In The Shield' is a legitimate religion these days...
T'was said that our Lord Rollins fell from the heavens to smite those who would do harm to St.Dean.
— ? ? ? ? (@Jayfuz) May 5, 2014
He can always, ALWAYS find something extra to dive off...
Is there anything else in the izod arena that @WWERollins can dive off???
— Joel Redman (@NXTOliverGrey) May 5, 2014
The Shield's streak continued...
@AMTRick 18 months and not one bad match. Incredible.
— Gavin (@GavlarLFC) May 5, 2014
You know, you weren't far off what actually happened...
If the lights go on & off and the Special Olympians are wearing sheep masks I'll literally shit my pants from joy. #ExtremeRules
— Marty DeRosa (@MartyDeRosa) May 5, 2014
Pretty much sums it up...
This is like being a kid again. Cena: *monotone* Don't do drugs they are bad. Wyatt: DO DRUGS THEY'RE AMAZING. No wonder Wyatt's cheered.
— MaffewOfBotchamania (@Maffewgregg) May 5, 2014
He's got fabric softener in his hands...
For someone who seems to live in a barn, Wyatt’s pants are always remarkably white. #ExtremeRules
— Rick Nash (@AMTRick) May 5, 2014
It wasn't Cole's best night...
Saying "extortionist" when you mean "contortionist"? That's #VintageMichaelCole. #ExtremeRules@KayfabeNews
— T.J. Erb (@KillemFaulkner) May 5, 2014
Then it was time for the creepy kid with the fake voice...
Andre the Giant has been reincarnated as a small child!
— Kayfabe News (@KayfabeNews) May 5, 2014
This sounds like a joke or wind-up. It's not...
Bray Wyatt def. John Cena a 21:11 via 10-year old child mouthing lyrics to a song
— Live Audio Wrestling (@LAWradio) May 5, 2014
Jake said it best...
What
— JakeSnakeDDT (@JakeSnakeDDT) May 5, 2014
Daniel Bryan got ready for his first major title defence against Kane...
"This is not good for @WWEDanielBryan." Talk about a loaded comment from JBL. #ExtremeRules
— WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) May 5, 2014
The two brawled to the back with Bryan knocking Kane out and bringing him back to the ring in a forklift...
Shades of the WrestleMania X-Seven hardcore match here. All we need is someone to run over Raven’s leg now. #ExtremeRules
— Rick Nash (@AMTRick) May 5, 2014
It was one of the most unique Olympic wrestling matches in living memory...
This match is exactly the same, move for move, as Kurt Angle's 1996 gold medal match at the Olympics.
— Kayfabe News (@KayfabeNews) May 5, 2014
Finally, they get to do their job!
WWE Fact: Men with fire extinguishers stand by at ringside for every match just in case that happens.
— Wade Keller (@thewadekeller) May 5, 2014
Ohhh yeaaaaahhh...
So Kane can make flames explode from the ring posts with an arm movement, but needs gasoline to set a wooden table on fire? #WWElogic
— Kayfabe News (@KayfabeNews) May 5, 2014
Perfect way to sum the night up...
That was a very Attitude Era PPV. And I mean that as a compliment.
— Davis Shoemaker (@AKATheMaskedMan) May 5, 2014
WWE Extreme Rules Quick Results
WeeLC Match: EL TORITO defeated HORNSWOGGLE
Triple-Threat Elimination Match: CESARO defeated JACK SWAGGER & ROB VAN DAM
2-on-1 Handicap Match: ALEXANDER RUSEV defeated R-TRUTH & XAVIER WOODS
BAD NEWS BARRETT defeated Intercontinental Champion, BIG E to win the title
Six-Man Tag-Team Match: THE SHIELD defeated EVOLUTION
Steel Cage Match: BRAY WYATT defeated JOHN CENA
Divas Champion, PAIGE defeated TAMINA SNUKA to retain
Extreme Rules Match: WWE World Champion, DANIEL BRYAN defeated KANE
Rick Nash is a former pro-wrestler turned DJ and founder of WWE Parties Ireland, running large scale parties for major WWE events. He's also co-host of the official Balls.ie podcast, Low Blows.
