The BBC lost it's soul when 'One Man and his Dog' was subsumed into 'Countryfile'... Rupert Murdoch would have loved to get his hands on the rights...
1. Kabaddi, 1991-92
The 1991/92 football season was a dreary affair but not even that could turn people towards Kabbadi, the extremely bizarre but strangely compelling sport that Channel 4 (who else) broadcast during those years. In case you weren't religiously tuning into Channel 4's coverage of the Bangladesh's favourite game back in it's heyday, here are the rules.
The game is essentially a playground sport, televised and played in front of large crowds. Two teams of four occupy one half of a pitch and take it in turns to send a raider into the other half. The raider has to tag one of the opposing team and race back to the halfway line. The team of four has to tackle them to the ground before they get to the halfway line. When tagging the other team the raider has to chant "Kabbadi, Kabbadi, Kabbadi!"
Oh yeah, there's one other thing. you;re not allowed breathe when tagging someone. Yes. breathe.
India won every World Cup until last year, when it was won, oddly, by Finland. There's a great video below of Scotland getting the shit kicked out of them by Pakistan.
2. Sumo Wrestling
The national sport of Japan, the zany and adventurous minds that govern Channel 4 decided, on two occasions, that the UK was ready for Sumo. In 1990, they had a go. Undaunted by this failure, they had another pop around 2005. It was about as successful as the first go.
A ridiculously artless looking sport.
3. One Man and his Dog
When this sport sprang to my mind a year or so ago, I had to ask people whether I had dreamed it was on television. During the 1980s, this stuff attracted 8 million viewers to the BBC. It was a Sunday evening it should be said. There was even a One Man and his Dog 'Home Championship' between England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales. We have a team of researchers looking at how many Triple Crowns Ireland won.
Here's Jonathan Wilson and his dog Spot showing those sheep who's boss in 2010 (after the heyday of One Man and his Dog it has to be said).
4. World Chess Championship, 1993
Rupert Murdoch has never shown much an interest in this sport largely which was largely dominated by Communists up to the 1980s. However, in 1993, Channel 4 brought extensive coverage of World Chess Championship between English challenger Nigel Short and the Russian champ Garry Kasparov. The coverage was fronted by Carol Vordeman and the game was painstakingly analysed by informed commentators. Chess has never taken off as a televised sport since.
5. Put 'Em Under Pressure
RTE's attempt to copy A Question Of Sport was one of their lamest imitation efforts ever, and that is quite an acolade. The show consisted of 30 minutes of tired, clunky jokes from regular team captains Pat Spillane and Ruby Walsh.
The best round was where an Irish sporting legend (Ray Houghton, John Treacy, Packie Bonner) would be invited on for about two minutes to talk about their greatest sporting moment. Naturally it was invariably a moment that everybody has already seen a million times even if they have no telly and didn't live in Ireland at the time. After this amiable joshing the guest would ask the two teams a pathetically easy question about said moment.
Ruby: The answer is Daniel Timofte, Graiinne
Grainne: Well, we'll see if that's right...
6. RPM
A motorsport magazine show narrated and produced by reedy voiced old veteran Alan Tyndall, it used to go out on RTE at about 1.20am on a Saturday morning. The show consisted of mainly Northern Irish lads sliding around skidding around country roads in Donegal and Cavan and Magherafelt.
7. Play, it again Des
A more apt title would have been 'Play, it again and again and again Des.' A sure-fire format where Des Cahill would invite sports stars to reminisce about their favourite sporting moments.
The only problem was that over the first series, these moments kept overlapping. Everyone had the same favourite sporting moments. In the first five shows, everyone picked Eamon Coughlan winning that World Championship in 1983 And all had, more or less, the same observations about this.
"And you can see him glancing back at the Russian... he knew he had it won..."
To be fair to Des and the producers, they changed this for the later series and got sports stars to talk specifically about their own careers.
8. Slamball
Even the most romantic Irish nationalist would have to conclude that hurling is not the greatest sport on earth. That title goes to the ancient game of Slamball, founded in 2002. A mixture of basketball and trampoline, there is no flaw to this sport as can be seen in this video below. Slamball was the jewel in the crown of British cable channel 'Trouble's output.
9. Big Break
We flirted with the idea of throwing the sport of snooker in here wholesale. The post-Grandstand, Saturday evening slot on BBC1 has given us some of the worst television programmes ever made. Presented by Jim Davidson with his somewhat funnier sidekick John Virgo, it used to feature three gormless looking contestants, the kind who later appeared on 'Deal, No Deal.' Each of these were teamed up with professional snooker player who represented them on the table (I say "teamed up", the contestants just twiddled their thumbs for the bulk of the show, if memory serves).
10. Superstars
Okay, so very few people who can remember Superstars have forgotten it. However, it's wild popularity is lost on people nowadays. Like Britain's Got Talent or something. The footage of Pat Spillane competing at the World Final in 1979 is Reeling in the Years' finest hour.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZUJ_bV2eHk&feature=youtu.be
