Jonathan Gabay, international brand expert and published author, offered his marketing expertise for the benefit of the League of Ireland today.
As soon as he opened his presentation with the sentence, "Under John Delaney, it's been amazing", it could be fairly said that he was toast. With those six words, his fate was sealed.
In the report, Gabay tossed out a range of ideas which might charitably be described as "left-field". Here are a few.
- LOI scores displayed on bus stops
- Hollywood walk of fame containing the faces of ex-greats decorating the pathway up to the ground
- Painting the bus stops near the ground in the club colours
- Regional Heritage incorporated into the club brand - illustrated with the example of Sligo Rovers harnessing the power of WB Yeats (slouching towards the Showgrounds penalty box to score?)
- Games with MLS sides to promote among US audiences
- Half-time EA Sports tournaments broadcast on (which?) giant screens
In addition to these novel proposals, he opted to pick a fight with League of Ireland fans, whose flares and hostility to the FAI heirarchy were not presenting a good image of the product.
We are all indebted to the journalists who live-tweeted this "extraordinary" event. By now, most dedicated League of Ireland fans with an internet connection have a sense of what was said today.
For a fuller account of what was said, head over here.
We can't be sure whether Gabay had any sense of the reaction his comments generated. Unless he is averse to checking his twitter mentions, he does now.
At half 7, he tweeted about what a pleasure it had been to deliver his insights on Ireland's domestic league to the assembled.
Really enjoyed delivering brand report to league of Ireland keep growing and going from strength to strength you deserve the best
— Jonathan Gabay (@Jonathangabay) December 15, 2016
The tweet has been retweeted a few times. But, it has generated a torrent of responses. Here's a flavour of the responses thus far (tastefully selected).
@Jonathangabay I bet you enjoyed it alright and then when you got your cheque you enjoyed it even more. You're nothing but a spoof merchant?
— James O'Donoghue (@odonoghuejames) December 15, 2016
@Jonathangabay your report is the greatest load of nonsense I have ever seen. An insult to all league of Ireland fans
— Faolán Carberry (@FaoFao96) December 15, 2016
@Jonathangabay I went to a League of Ireland marketing presentation by unpaid college students last week. 100 times better than yours
— Thomas Stafford (@Thomas_Stafford) December 15, 2016
@Jonathangabay you didn't happen to ask why the the top dogs at the fai earn 6 times more than they offer a team for winning the league ?
— Paul Murphy (@paul_mujayob) December 15, 2016
@Jonathangabay first time I've ever heard a section of fans referred to as "rabble rousers." Seriously out of touch report.
— Caged Red (@cagedred) December 15, 2016
@Jonathangabay your "report" was a juvenile piece of spoofery at best, an insult to all who care about the future of the LOI at worst.
— Simon Blackmore (@SimonBlackmore) December 15, 2016
@Jonathangabay I've been an empty vessel since 1977 and I can say for a fact only for the fans and volunteers there would be no loi. Fai jok
— Tommy Shields (@gufct) December 15, 2016
@Jonathangabay @LOIStats if I delivered that kind of report to a client, I'd be embarrassed to take their money. Never mind insulting fans!
— Gerard O'Brien (@gerobrien121) December 15, 2016
This is of a piece with the reaction of Ireland's football journalists earlier. Dan McDonnell and Neil O'Riordan were at the press conference and this was their live reaction after it finished.
I know I'm a cynic but I went in there with an open mind. It was truly awful and a waste of money. Whoever hired him should be ashamed.
— Neil O'Riordan (@noriordan) December 15, 2016
It's over now. I know FAI will think some of these tweets are just typical media moaning but that was extraordinary, just extraordinary.
— Daniel McDonnell (@McDonnellDan) December 15, 2016
At one stage in his presentation, Gabay referenced a imaginary company called 'Joe's Pork Sausages', the kind of outfit with whom the League could do a bit of sponsorship business.
Before the day was out, Joe's Pork Sausages had its own twitter account.
Due to the wonderful & handsome John Delaney calling it a problem child/our own produce, it will be known as the Bratwurst League of Ireland
— Joe's Pork Sausages (@joesporksausage) December 15, 2016
As for Gabay, he will no doubt steel himself mentally against the abuse by returning once more to the mantra, "Empty vessels make the most noise."