Scotland's Commonwealth Games uniforms have been released, and the Opening Ceremony outfits in particular have caused a storm of revulsion in the country as the athletes will have to parade around Celtic Park looking like this:
Scotland's Commonwealth Games uniform was designed by....just kidding, no one could have 'designed' this. pic.twitter.com/0aRHAFWavK
— Titus O'Reily (@TitusOReily) July 7, 2014
The uniforms were in fact designed by one Jilli Blackwood, seen here in the top hat looking like a cross between a Victorian beggar and Willie Wonka from the future.
Previous to the kit release, the most controversial aspect of the Opening Ceremony would have been the demolition of landmark Glaswegian tower blocks, but that jaw-droppingly insensitive idea was binned on taste grounds.
The Commonwealth Games uniform exists only so that the blowing up flats idea wouldn't seem like that bad a move. — stuart braithwaite (@plasmatron) July 6, 2014
One wonders, then, what atrocities one has to commit on the sartorial front to be laughed out of town by the selection committee. Scotland are perfectly entitled to have chosen a traditional-style design for their big entrance, and only they can get away with the kilt in this part of the world, but these kilts look like the blankets in a Crimean War hospital seen through the eyes of a wounded soldier who had been given too many opiates.
I'm not a Scot, but for me trying to put a 'modern' and 'cool' spin on proud, historical designs is as horrendous and and unhelpful as the entire team entering the arena sporting gift-shop tam-o'-shanters with fake ginger hair and openly carrying bottles of Buckie.
Twitter, predictably, was mightily unfavourable towards the vomit-and-pink combination.
the designer of the commonwealth games uniform says she took her inspiration from wanting to make a large number of people look like wankers
— euan mccolm (@euanmccolm) July 6, 2014
Sadly, Team Scotland Commonwealth Games uniform looks like a parody of 70s Hogmany chic. Truly awful! #Glasgow2014 pic.twitter.com/ARQe7FM73Z — Gary Erskine (@garyerskine) July 6, 2014
Scotland's uniform for the 2014 Commonwealth Games. Inspired by Brigadoon, Disney and acid... http://t.co/qc7dyLxjPa
— Andrew McFadyen (@apmcfadyen) July 6, 2014
Ever been embarrassed to be Scottish? You have now... http://t.co/b3HtDF3PWD — Dave Lord (@C_DLord) July 6, 2014
Dear Lord. This is wrong on so many levels?! Team Scotland games kit and parade uniform unveiled http://t.co/AX59M1MRdJ
— Heather Suttie (@Blondi_SOS) July 6, 2014
A 6-pack of Tennents Super later and Jilli Blackwood came up with this! Pure Beamer!#commonwealthgamesuniform http://t.co/PVSe5ezMJm — Sarah Coutts (@Sarahcoutts1) July 6, 2014
Knew I'd seen the Team Scotland uniform before pic.twitter.com/htqdtyLNqU
— Andrew Learmonth (@andrewlearmonth) July 6, 2014
commonwealth games organisers announce a plan to burn all team scotland uniforms during the opening ceremony. pic.twitter.com/cj7dfZliwr — euan mccolm (@euanmccolm) July 7, 2014
