There's a video on youtube which bears the ambitious title, 'This Video Will Get Donald Trump Elected'. It consists of many years old videos of the Donald, talking to Oprah Winfrey and the like, about how America was getting screwed by her supposed allies. Balls found it underwhelming.
However, if there's one video that could possibly deserve the title 'This Video Will Get Donald Trump Elected', we believe it is this one. It's a video which showcases the Republican nominee's charitable and philanthropic instincts.
It captures the Donald, selflessly harnessing his brand name in attempt to breathe life into another ailing enterprise - the Football League Cup, then sponsored by Rumbelows, an electronics retailer which died out in the mid-1990s.
It was in 1992, and we were slap bang in the middle of the final season of Saint & Greavsie, before Sky came along and forced us to say goodbye to all that.
On air, Ian St. John credited Jimmy Greaves for his pull in getting them an audience with Trump.
At one stage, Jim cracks one of his trademark blokey in-jokes about Doug Ellis's boardroom and how it was the only environment that compared to Trump towers in terms of plushness.
The Donald, a consummate performer in these set-pieces, laughed along with the sure-footedness of one who knew all about Doug Ellis and his chairmanship of Aston Villa.
There was much chuckling and oohing when Donald drew out ball no. 6, representing Manchester United. They would have to travel to Elland Road. The surprise at this was slightly incomprehensible given that there was only one ball left in the bag.
Trump twigged that this was "a biggie" - the two teams were battling it out at the top of the League - and expressed a desire to go over and "catch a couple of these games."
Oddly enough for a man whose political career has been spent pandering to nativist Republicans, he happily admits to playing soccer as a young man. Ann Coulter, one of his most ardent supporters, said the sport was 'un-American' during the most recent World Cup. (This fine essay by Peter Beinart explains why Ann and her people might be right to worry about soccer.)
However, he remains unusual among American billionaires in his refusal to buy a Premier League club. He also discussed the upcoming World Cup in the USA, one in which neither England or Scotland would play any part.
And he noted that the American women had just won the Women's World Cup. "A tremendous job", as Donald would doubtless say now. He refrained from commenting on the appearance of the players.
