There some utterly fantastic highlight videos of professional footballers on YouTube. Sometimes when the club you support gets linked to a player that you are not too familiar with, the first instinct is often to seek out more information about him, and what better way that to see some footage of what he can do?
Unfortunately, the number of fantastic highlight videos of professional footballers on YouTube is completely dwarfed by the staggering amount of shockingly shitty highlight reels that make our eyes sore with awful effects and make our ears bleed with the worst possible music known to man.
So naturally, we are here to help you become part of the problem. Here is our definitive guide on how to achieve shitty YouTube highlight reel perfection.
1) Download/Acquire Windows Movie Maker
If you're going to make a shitty highlight reel, it is absolutely essential that you use the most basic video editor possible. Those fancy tints and lens flares on things like Sony Vegas and Final Cut Pro are too complicated, stick to the basics and stitch together your monstrosity with the least amount of professionalism possible.
2) Pick Your Player
You've got to pick a completely obvious player that everybody has already heard about. The rising young star at your club is the best bet, so the likes of Adnan Januzaj, Philippe Coutinho, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, and Oscar are safe bets depending on who you support. Another good option is someone who isn't actually very good but tries lots of ridiculous shit, like Hulk. Of course, you could just go over the top obvious and make a Zlatan or Cristiano Ronaldo video, or better yet, make a throwback to 2006 when every other video on YouTube was of Ronaldinho.
3) Use The Most Obnoxious Music Possible
Pick a track that will want to make everyone who watched the video hit the mute button immediately. Hardcore jumpstyle dance music with distorted high-pitch female vocals are a bonus. What ever you pick must fit in no way with the subject of the video and must distract attention at all times.
If you really can't stand dance music then just use "Remember The Name" by Fort Minor.
4) Rip Your Clips From Existing YouTube Videos To Ensure The Worst Quality Possible
Why put actual effort into sourcing your footage when someone else has already done it? If possible, make sure to keep the part that says "www.bandicam.com" on the screen as much as possible. Don't worry about the low picture quality, we'll cover that later.
5) Make The Most Of The Shitty Effects And Transitions At Your Disposal
Stuff needless swipes and spiral cuts in between every frame, that'll make it look cool. Nothing better than making your viewers dizzy with utterly rubbish transitions.
6) Show The Same Clip 10 Times
Did your player do a totally unnecessary step-over in a pre-season friendly? Did he beat two players before smashing the ball into row Z? Show that clip from every possible angle, and then show them all again. The more pointless the skills the better.
7) Put "HD" In The Title
Remember how we said not to worry about the terrible picture quality in your clips? Solve that by putting "HD" in the title. Your video will be in 240p at the absolute max, but if you say it's in 1080p then you will get loads of views.
So there you have it. Go out and create something that you will absolutely hate yourself for in a few years time.
