Good evening. You join us on this historic Christmas Eve as the polls close in the Balls Man of the Year.
The race to succeed Micki Murray (aka, Salute Guy) has been memorable in so many ways.
For this has been one of the closest races in the five year history of the Balls Man of the Year.
Indeed, the contest is so tight that some long-time Balls Man of the Year observers are predicting that the whole thing will end up in the courts.
Six electoral tickets entered the contest - Mick Conlan, James McClean, Sean Bean Maguire, CJ Stander, Pajo Flynn, and the two-headed beast that is Gary and Paul O'Donovan (running on a joint ticket).
Early exit polls suggest we are in for a two-horse race.
Decision 2016
Listen below for our coverage as the polls close. We have reporters stationed at count centres all around the country. Mick McCarthy is in the RDS, Mark Farrelly is on the Limerick-Kerry border, while Andrew Anderson is in the Andersonstown Leisure Centre in Belfast.
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So, there we are. Crackling like a hickory fire, to quote Dan Rather.
Consternation in Belfast as the three northern candidates flopped at the polls.
The bookmakers, no doubt reflecting on the stunning successes of Eamonn 'Nippler' Keegan and Micki 'Salute Guy' Murray, not to mention the near success of Mad Mick from Mayo, had installed Sean Bean Maguire as a presumed early favourite.
Nate Silver himself told us that Sean Bean was a virtual certainty to win this poll. He said words to the effect of 'go home, there's nothing to see here. This is a lock!'
Alas, his campaign crashed and burned. He's not even getting his deposit back. The word from Belfast is that he's not even shown up at the count centre and is high-tailing it back to Lyon, arm in arm with a mysterious French fille. The status of his relationship with this woman is unclear though we understand that tabloid reporters are making frantic enquiries.
Mick Conlan, outraged at only securing 11%, launched a foul mouthed tirade at the returning officer and described the whole process as "rotten to the core." Balls.ie will deliver its response to these allegations in due course.
Pajo Flynn, who earlier in the day looked like he was mounting a charge, has seen his chances drift away. The expected bump once the Waterford boxes were open failed to materialise and he now finds himself on 13%.
An excited crowd of thousands are gathering around the RDS in anticipation of Pat's reputedly heartfelt and inspirational concession speech. The word from insiders is its an absolute belter, the Gettysburg Address of Balls Man of the Year concession speeches.
James McClean was thought to be one of the favourites but he's slipped back to 21%. There'll be widespread disappointment up in Derry. His canvassers had been traversing the country in branded vans with Wolfe Tones songs blaring from the speakers. Pundits reckon this may have cost him untold amounts of votes, especially in the right-wing enclaves in South-Dublin.
It was clear we were in for a two horse-race.
The Munster candidates go head to head for the title of Balls Man of the Year 2016.
Predictions that the unprecedented joint-ticket of Gary and Paul O'Donovan would be unworkable proved unfounded. There has never been a two-person winner of the Balls Man of the Year award.
But it was clear that once the boxes were opened that the Cork brothers were polling very well indeed.
But they faced a formidable foe in CJ Stander. He's been pulling in the kind of numbers in his adopted home county that haven't been seen since Willie O'Dea's heyday.
The confident Stander team even have John Hayes as part of the entourage in preparation for the obligatory post-victory hoist.
Stander, who leads the O'Donovan brothers by just one percent in the polls, hasn't arrived at the count centre yet. He is said to be conferring with his adviser Donnacha Ryan. The pair were heard hollering the national anthem outside the campaign headquarters in Annacotty.
UPDATE:
17:45 - We have a result. We await the returning officer now.
Apologies for the loss of transmission.
Just to keep you updated, the returning officer is running through the names of the candidates now in Irish and English.
Here we go...
The results of the 17th count are as follows:
Conlan, Michael 'Mick', Belfast, 11%
Maguire, Sean Bean, Lyon via Derry, 2%
The O'Donovans, Paul and Gary, Skibb, 26%
McClean, James, Derry, 21%
Stander, CJ, Annacotty, 27%
WOOOHOOOOOO!!!
There you have it. CJ Stander is hoisted high as the returning officer is drowned out by the celebrations. For the record, Pajo Flynn's final tally was 13%.
CJ Stander is elected the Balls Man of the Year for 2016.
Lawyers for the O'Donovan brothers are said to be interested in the closeness of the results and may seek to contest the matter. The boys themselves seen pretty relaxed.
He's had to build a new extension on his house to accommodate all the trophies he's earned this year. But this is the grandest prize of the lot.
He joins some illustrious names.
2012: Eamon 'Nippler' Keegan
2013: Shane Curran
2014: Ger Brennan
2015: Salute Guy
2016: CJ Stander
Our Decision 2016 tipster Nate Silver, whose reputation has taken a bit of a battering in this election it must be said, has pinpointed the below clip as a key moment from the campaign. The day it was won.
This is the kind of leadership we can expect from our new Balls Man of the Year in 2017.
WATCH: @CJStander wears #PlayerMic, Munster lead at HT 14-7, second half live, SS3 now! #MUNvEDI @PRO12rugby @Munsterrugby @EdinburghRugby pic.twitter.com/z48XjyvP1m
— Sky Sports Rugby ? (@SkySportsRugby) September 24, 2016
