Yesterday, we listed some of the things Conor McGregor is to his fans. These include being a champion, a role model and being generally notorious. A couple of weeks ago, we discovered that many fans also see him as a father-figure, and yesterday we added sociolinguist to this list. You can read about that here.
This list continues to grow, as we can now reveal he is also an artistic muse. There are a frankly bewildering volume of paintings of McGregor available on eBay, some at eye-watering prices. We have commissioned our resident pretentious art critic to review a select few:
Conor McGregor Original Art - €1,569
The Pretentious Balls.ie Art Critic Would Say: An intriguing mesh of primary colours blurring together to produce the mighty McGregor, portraying him as a man hewn of primal elements who then fuses them together to become a whole and adamantine warrior. The man who threatens to 'take over' has taken possession of the world's natural colours. The smile betrays the confidence of a man who believes in his supremacy over all other mere mortals. The very fine blending of colours to produce the work is reminiscent of the use of sfumato in the Renaissance canon.
Anyone Else Would Say: Bloody hell, almost €1,600? That seems a bit steep for a painting that looks a bit like Neil Patrick Harris wearing a large belt buckle.
Conor McGregor Oil Painting - €700
The Pretentious Balls.ie Art Critic Would Say: The choice of oil here is fitting. Crude oil, of course, floats to the top of water, representative of McGregor rising to the top of his primordial combat pursuit. The painter, of course does not use crude oil, but dilutes it to produce this work of art. This is at odds with the relentless McGregor, who is wholly undiluted, but this does not undermine my intelligent comparative critique.
Anyone Else Would Say: Why is McGregor holding an Ivory Coast flag?
Original Oil Painting Portrait Of UFC Fighter Conor McGregor MMA Champion - €75
The Pretentious Balls.ie Art Critic Would Say: The most beguiling aspect of this work is McGregor's bulging manhood, as powerful a statement of masculine supremacy as exists in humanity. This is complemented by the carnivorous tattoos and the subject's confident look forwards. The hazy and ambiguous background accentuates the fact McGregor stands apart from his opponents.
Anyone Else Would Say: There is no way I can hang that in my house. It'll make me feel inadequate.
Large Original Conor McGregor Celtic Art Canvass Print Ready To Hang - €65
The Pretentious Balls.ie Art Critic Would Say: The Celtic background contrasts very well with the reversed tricolour to emphasise the modern character of McGregor: drawing on ancient Irish traditions, but turning them around in his own, inimitable way. Rarely has Ireland ever seen such a confident sportsman, and this juxtaposition draws attention to the origin of McGregor's unique character.
Everyone Else Would Say: Is that Jose Aldo in the bottom corner? Is there a cheaper option?
Conor McGregor Here to Take Over UFC Canvas Art Multi Frame Poster Print - €45
The Pretentious Balls.ie Art Critic Would Say: A marvellous portrayal of the extreme challenge facing McGregor. The difficulty of his aim to 'take over' and unify the sport of Mixed Martial Arts under his almighty aegis is laid bare by the fact it is currently fractured: represented by the fact that the artwork has been broken into four parts. McGregor's threat to take over rings ominously across this discordant landscape however. Unification is coming.
Everyone Else Would Say: Better value, that. Although can I stick it together?
Conor McGregor UFC/FIGHT/BOXI
The Pretentious Balls.ie Art Critic Would Say: I am refusing to review any alleged work of art which is cheaper than a glass of chardonnay. That's not art.
Anyone Else Would Say: That costs less than a pint. I'll get that.
