Over the last few weeks a couple of articles have been written about Dublin’s presumed dominance over the rest of the country in terms of resources and population. One potential solution that has been suggested is splitting the county in two to create a Northside and a Southside team. Dublin manager Jim Gavin said that given Dublin’s return of one senior All Ireland in 17 years that this isn’t a discussion worth having.
But it’s no secret that Dublin has finally got their act together at underage level and that currently there is a steady stream of players coming through who have already tasted All Ireland success. But broach the idea of two separate teams to Dublin fans and you will likely be overwhelmed with an expletive-laden tirade about how the rest of the country is jealous of Dublin’s success.
Here at Balls.ie we see ourselves as forward-thinking so we looked into our crystal ball in order to forecast an Orwellian future of a Dublin divided.
Splitting Dublin in half would firstly create enormous logistical difficulties. All bridges across the Liffey would have to be closed down to the public and large concrete walls would line the quays. This would be done in agreement by the two new county boards to curb a defection problem after many players were caught sneaking across the river in dinghies in the black of the night. From hence forth, the only river crossing will be on "Checkpoint Liffey" on O'Connell Bridge.
The sky blue jersey that is synonymous with Dublin would be retired with the North Dublin team adopting a dark blue jersey and the South Dublin team wearing light blue/periwinkle coloured jersey. The two county boards would reach an agreement that clubs in the west of the city would wear the light blue of south Dublin. The Northside team would only wear odd numbers on their jerseys and the Southside would only wear even numbers in keeping with Dublin post code convention.
North Dublin were allowed continue to play their games in Croke Park and Parnell Park while South Dublin would now play their home games in a rotation system similar to the England football team when Wembley was being rebuilt.
Grounds such as Tallaght Stadium, the Aviva, and the RDS would be used and to broaden their fan base, South Dublin would play occasional fixtures in more intimate venues such as Bushy or Tymon Park.
Every Easter Monday, the Northside and Southside play an exhibition game in Croker to decide which group of supporters gets acess to the Hill in the event of a Northside and Southside Leinster final or All-Ireland that summer. The Southside team will fill the void in the Leinster championship vacated by Kilkenny.
In addition to each player having a biological passport, regular passports would now be a mandatory requirement before you tog out. Each player will have their residency papers inspected before a fixture to ensure there is no skirting of the eligibility requirements.
The agreement that split the county football team in two included an addendum that stated that the proposal does not change the structure of the county hurling team.
Here is how the projected teams might line out if the spilt happened today.
Northside XV
Manager: Pat Gilroy
Selector: Paul Caffrey
Southside XV
Manager: Jim Gavin
Selector: Tommy Lyons
Looking through the Northside team, they don’t seem to be affected a great deal by the upheaval. The Southside team would appear to have the most to lose from this new arrangement. While they hold onto manager Jim Gavin, they are shorn of most of their forward power. The Sunday Game pundits would no doubt say that the Southside team “can’t win anything with kids” as they have been forced to draft in five young players who are relatively untested at senior level.
But what do you think of this proposed future? Does a bleak totalitarian GAA county sound appealing? Would the Northside team annihilate the Southside? Or could the Southside youngsters gel with the veterans in an exciting blend? Where would the balance of power ultimately reside?
