A lot of people seemed outraged upon hearing Colm Parkinson read out of the code of conduct that's in place for one county GAA team. We were also outraged but for a different reason. Here at Balls, we felt that the code of conduct didn't go far enough.
Therefore, we've decided to release our own version. We would like to invite all GAA teams to adopt this if they see fit and we do not seek any monetary compensation.
Being caught eating Black Forest Gateau
Punishment
12 slaps of the sally rod.
Asking Joe Brolly what he thinks of stuff
Punishment
Immediately dropped from the panel.
Banning nicknames
John 'Bubbles' O'Dwyer will henceforth to be referred to simply as 'John'.
Punishment
Having to sing the West Ham song 'I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles' at the next county board AGM.
If you are going to honour a recently deceased pop icon after scoring a goal in a championship game, make sure to spell his name correctly
Michéal Jackson deserves no less.
Punishment
You have to write an essay on pop music in Irish, translating the names of up to 50 international pop stars into Irish.
Asking 'What about mass?' when Sunday training is called for 10am
Punishment
Hoover out the manager's car.
Not being up to date on Home and Away
Punishment
Sent to bed without your dinner.
Using the double strength MiWadi willy-nilly
Punishment
That's a paddlin'.
There is a designated senior play to decide if you've too much body hair
Punishment
A head to toe waxing.
Missing training due to the silage
Punishment
A round of red arse from the entire squad.
Wearing a long sleeve top on the field or off it
Punishment
Remain bollock naked for three months.
Using gel or having hair that's anything other than short back and sides
Punishment
Oh you better believe that's a paddlin'.
Eating meat on a Good Friday
Punishment
Clean everyone's boots for a month.
