One player who is suffering from 'Ebola like symptoms,' another lad waiting for 'an ankle transplant', and another who had deemed himself unfit to play after reading something on the internet.
Dunshaughlin suffered from all this and more, including a terrible start in their championship encounter against unbeaten group toppers Simonstown in Ashbourne at the weekend.
And yet, they retained their senior status for next year.
Kudos to the man or woman who composes the match reports for the Dunshaughlin GAA website for this entertaining, nay poetic, match report recalling Dunshaughlin's date with destiny.
His copy is replete with metaphors. From the evidence of this paragraph, the reporter appears appears suspicious about the exact nature of Fergie Delaney's injury.
Dunshaughlin's ever growing injury woe continued with Mark Devaney not feeling well with Ebola like symptoms, Stephen Ward still on the waiting list for an ankle transplant while Fergie Delaney who spent the better part of last month rambling around the village on crutches was still not deemed fit enough to play after he diagnosed himself on the internet.
After the Navan side took a commanding lead, the author turned almost Kiplingesque
They say two things in life define you. Your patience when you have nothing and your attitude when you have everything
As Dunshaughlin mounted their stirring comeback, the metaphors started zinging in once more with an Eoin Hagerty shot 'dipping and bending like a Zico free kick' and Oisin Foley's drive up the field compared to 'Trim vet Kevin Foley' and Niall Flynn 'twisting and turning like Bernard Flynn.'
County player Caoimhin King found the net deep in injury time (in an echo of Graham Stuart's goal for Everton in 1994) to preserve Dunshaughlin's senior status.
Before listing out the formalities of who played best and who got the scores, the article concludes on the most glorious of crescendos.
The exact location of Lazurus in Bethany is unknown but if he was anywhere he was most definitely in Ashbourne last night as Dunshaughlin rose from the dead to gain a valuable point and leave hells bells ringing for another year.
H-T : Niall Lewis
