Offaly's star corner forward Niall McNamee, has written a moving and honest piece about his struggle with gambling addiction.
The former international rules player tells how his addiction reached a crisis point in the autumn of 2011. He writes about the "guilt" and "shame" he felt during the worst excesses of his gambling addiction.
In August of 2011 I sold my car for half what it was worth. my plan was to use the money to go Gambling and clear off all my debts. I lost it within a week. I was living in a 4 bed house on my own paying 600 euros per month and I couldn't even afford a loaf of bread.
I was carrying a lot of guilt and shame around inside me. On the outside I would put on a face for people around me and pretend everything was OK but inside I was falling apart. I had a lot of things going for me and to be 26 and have no direction on where my life was going was hard to live with. I considered myself to be a failure. I became so unreliable in a lot of areas of my life, let it be work, relationships or football.
McNamee writes of how during a five year spell he would gamble about half his wages, he was forced to "duck and dive" from banks and people to whom he owed money. He writes of the ease and "accessibility" of online gambling. During 2007, he won €8,000 in the space of three weeks. However, soon after he proceeded to lose every cent of that in the space of one day.
He wrote about the relief he felt he finally admitted the extent of his problem to those around him and finally taking the step of going to Gamblers Anonymous and seeking help for his problem. The first meeting he attended was on the 14 November 2011.
When I eventually told my father what was going on and explained the trouble I was in it was like the biggest weight imaginable was lifted off me. For the first time in a long time I was being open and honest with someone and it felt great. His reaction was one of concern and relief which was a great comfort to me. I didn't want to tell anyone or ask for help because a part of me was afraid of a negative reaction but all everyone wanted to do was help. I feel now that a great sign of strength from someone is to speak up and ask for help when they are feeling down because everyone feels a bit shit every now and again but that's OK as long as you talk about it.
The piece marks the 2nd anniversary since he placed his last bet.
Read the rest of the piece here.
