Ladies, take this as a word of caution. Gentlemen, take it as a warning that you're not going to get away with it anymore.
We all know that tricky juncture in a budding relationship. The first few weeks of excitement have passed exposing our personalities to the surface as the last floating device to keep the relationship from failing.
And then it happens. The courtship starts to stutter and communication levels go into disrepair. And if you're unlucky enough to be going out with a GAA type, you'll discover the crafty heure can use training sessions to weave out a host of reasons why he didn't text you back.
'Sorry babes, ran out of battery'
Nothing but a nuisance those mobile phones. They're supposed to make life easier but they're only complicating your love life that's just about hanging in there as it is.
Funny though he charged up the phone after the battery died while he was at the bog today and somehow during a one hour training session the battery has flat lined again.
Bit strange, you should probably tell him to get the phone checked out. Either way I'm sure he's telling the truth.
'Lads robbed me phone during training'
Oh those lads. They're a shower of scamps aren't they, taking his phone and hiding it on him. What will they think of next? But sure they're awful craic.
But wait, are these the same lads that are on the team. Would it not be logical to assume that they're out on the pitch training with your totally faithful boyfriend?
Well there's only explanation - they must have asked the manager to go for a slash and then took that precious opportunity to take your boyfriend's phone. Gas altogether those boys.
'Manager wanted to have a chat after training'
Now there's lies and there's unadulterated, barefaced, would-explode-a-lie-detector-to-bits lies. For God's sake look at the facts. There are no major games coming up. In fact your waster of a boyfriend is about as close to the starting 15 as Earth is to Pluto right now so why in the jaysus would the manager want to discuss tactics with him. Fella couldn't kick a habit never mind kick a ball.
Oh yeah and apparently this chat dragged on for ages so by the time he gets home, there's simply no energy left to punch a few letters on the phone.
But don't worry, they're well able to share a video on Facebook and tag the lads in it.
Few restorative pints - Be grand
'I'm telling ya, I was about to get into the car and drive home to text you when then Mikey said we'll go in for one. And then one turned into two and two turned to three sure ya know yourself I couldn't go home then.'
- said every lad ever
And the response should read something like...
'Ah no it's grand. Miss Congeniality is on here now so I probably wouldn't have even seen the text.'
- said every girl in denial
But we all know you've spent the night on the brink of throwing a conniption fit waiting on that text to arrive. You're even getting a bit delirious from thinking the phone is vibrating when it's not.
Shakes before dates
Gains gains gains gains gains gains etc. It's all about supplementing that protein as soon as the training session is over to get championship shredded. If you can't accept that then you don't deserve the fine piece of GAA meat.
He'll text you tomorrow sweet cheeks relax would ya?
The truth you'd rather not accept
He could tell you aliens invaded the pitch and took them away for a few hours which is why he couldn't text you. And sure enough you would believe him. But the painful truth is that he could not give a continental about you and will happily leave you on the long finger.
