True GAA pubs are like no other pub in Ireland.
Picture the scene. All-Ireland final day. An army of fans from hurling country dismount the train once it grinds to a halt at Heuston. The more adventurous among them drop into a pub in nearby Dublin 7.
They ask the man-bunned bar keep for a pint of Guinness. They are informed that this pub doesn't do Guinness.
While the would-be customers stand there, mouths agape, the barman attempts to placate them with the names of a few home-brewed 'Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Guinness' stout substitutes.
Rightly perceiving scepticism, he runs through the rolodex of unpronounceable and exotic beers on offer, flagging up the ones he regards as especially nice.
This is not the crowd for it, however. The 'GAH' fans are already making for the exit doors, in search of a more traditional environment.
GAA fans of all vintages will be well aware that while there are no shortage of public houses in this country, only a handful institutions fully deserve the status of being a proper GAA pub. If attending a big match was the Stations of the Cross, the pre-match pint is something could take up three or four stages. Thus the venue is crucial.
The primary factor in a pub being designated as a GAA pub is its proximity to a GAA stadium. However, some (notably the first one on our list) have even managed to overcome the handicap of distance to earn the label 'GAA pub'. Here are the most iconic GAA pubs from around Ireland.
Mulligan's, Poolbeg Street
Mulligan's of Poolbeg Street is associated, in many a journalist's mind, with the sight of Con Houlihan, finger drawn across his philtrum, raising his head from his pint to discourse upon Kerry's latest triumph. While Con is no longer sitting there, there is a plaque honouring him there now.
As a result of this legacy, Mulligan's has an intellectual credibility that few pubs could hope to match.
For instance, in the aftermath of Dublin's stunning loss to Donegal in the 2014 All-Ireland semi-final, customers would have spotted Diarmuid Ferriter reclining against the outside wall, poring over the carcass of a Dublin defeat with a few mates.
On sunny evenings, the crowd fills the whole of the street outside, clustering underneath the architectural marvel that is Hawkins House.
Every Pub On Fermanagh St On Ulster Final Day, Clones
Seasoned match-goer in Ulster, Mark Farrelly describes well the feeling of standing around the narrow streets of Clones as throngs of kitted-out revelers saunter past.
The walk down the pub filled narrow street on the way to the grounds means anyone standing outside with a pint meets and greets more people than a US presidential candidate.
Many claim the Paragon has the best atmosphere but you will need be spoiled for choice.
The Ruislip GAA Club, London
Mayo News editor and commentator Mike Finnerty has described to us before the uniquely laid-back vibe of a match-day in Ruislip.
He remembered a match which turned into a distinctly non-laid back encounter for Mayo fans, the 2011 Connacht First Round game between Mayo and London in 2011.
I always remember down underneath us, dozens and dozens and hundreds of people with their backs to the game, who were drinking beer, enjoying the burgers, and there were ice-creams everywhere. It was a real scorching hot day. There was a queue to the ice-cream van. All of a sudden, these people started turning around and looking at... looking at the scoreboard first of all and then looking at the game. And you could nearly hear the murmur going around among the supporters that "hang on a second, we tuned out of the game. We better tune back in. There's a problem."
They've a bar in the clubhouse and they set up a couple of marquees in the car park for the annual visit of a Connacht side.
Salthill Hotel, Galway
Despite its proximity to the beach and the surrounding area's reputation as a tourist hotspot, Pearse Stadium is a rather unpopular venue among supporters. Among neutrals and visiting fans, it is disliked for being a nightmarish traffic bottleneck and for being impossible to escape from quickly post-match. And among many Galway supporters, especially the traditionalists, it is resented for facilitating the migration away from Tuam, the much romanticised spiritual home of Galway football.
There's always the Salthill Hotel, a big positive to emerge from Galway's early noughties change of scenery. When the weather doesn't intervene to upset everybody, that scenery can be pretty tasty. The Salthill Hotel offers sweeping views of Galway Bay, a gorgeous backdrop on matchday.
Lawless's Hotel, Aughrim
Another spot boasting a carvery to go with the taps, Lawless's has a lovely outside area out the back in which to sup the pint and have a natter about the game.
We include it partly as a tribute to the underrated loveliness of a sunny summer match in Aughrim in late May/early June.
Aughrim's puny main stand, the kind of construct that most halfway prosperous club sides train in front of these days, needs to be avoided.
You want to saunter around to the other end of the ground where the view of the hills behind the main stand will keep you enthralled even if the match is a bore.
The Arch Bar, Thurles
Located slap bang in the centre of town and not far from the sacred pilgrammage spot that is Hayes Hotel, the Arch Bar is arguably the main supporters hub on matchday in Thurles.
The hurling crowd will know it of course. These names mean nothing to most football people.
Gills, North Circular Road, Dublin
A large mural of Gaelic footballers and hurlers in heroic pose adorns the gable wall and is Gills most distinctive feature.
We include it here for it is now only really opened for matchdays. The tiny interior mean that the vast majority of patrons just spill onto the road outside.
#Dublin Mural on side of Gills pub near Croke Park. Thus sporting theme. Note rugby players and hurlers. pic.twitter.com/tTe98r2M05
— Robbie Gilligan (@RobbieGilligan) April 27, 2015
Only the actual Croke Park Hotel is closer to the ground itself. The guards and the ticket inspectors have the railings up right outside, and are checking to see tickets.
It was reputedly where local boy Brendan Behan took his first sip of porter.
The Boar's Head, Capel Street
Cavan-owned and operated, it may be impossible to hang around the Boar's Head for longer than fifteen minutes without getting drawn into a long, fascinating discussion, particularly Ulster-related football.
It has become the tradition since roughly the turn of the century that the winning team head straight from the winning banquet to the Boar's Head.
People traipsing into work the following Monday morning will pass by a cluster of triumphant players and fans spilling onto the street onside, passing the Sam Maguire Cup around for selfies.
Up the Dubs! At the boars head Capel st pic.twitter.com/zkMZETUrw6
— [email protected] (@bruiser1213) September 21, 2015
You tell us --- which is the most iconic GAA pub in the country?
