With the Championship and the World Cup being played in tandem, it's easy to lose the run of yourself. With so many sports being played out simultaneously, you could be forgiven for blurting out "square ball" as Van Persie taps one in from close range, or "for God's sake put your back over it" as Hazard dribbles down the wing.
But don't worry, play it right and you can easily pass these conversation convulsions off as witty banter.
What's not going to be so easy to pass off is mistaking guys kicking the ball around in Rio for the men playing our national sports, and we swear, it's possible. Just look at some of these World Cup stars, we've heard these names being shouted around Junior B pitches the length and breadth of the country.
Steven Adams in goals
Adams has been clattering into full forwards for years. When the ball's hanging in his area, or simply when he fancies a kicking session when the ref's back is turned.
John Boye at centre-back
"G'wan John-boy, that's the shot". Captain and leader of the squad, a man's whose ability to wave his arms up and down towards the crowd after being fouled is unparalleled. Those lung-bursting runs up the field are things of beauty.
Philly Lambe at right wing-back
Fine, some liberties may have been taking with the pronunciation and spelling here. Finds it tough to travel home from The Pale for mid-week training, but he assures us he's keeping fit with some 5-a-side astro and sprinting sessions with his mate's club, St. Fictitious's.
Michael Lang in midfield
"Langer" is your quintessential ball-breaker, of the play that is. Contesting everything in the air, he has a target on his back from Adams's kick-outs, and by-God does he put himself about. Rarely does a game go by where he doesn't remind his marker that he's there. Either by way of a friendly handshake pre-throw-in, or by a shoulder to the face in the opening minutes, the opposition are never in doubt regarding the constant company he provides.
Julian Green at right half-forward
Question marks frequently arise over his ability to track back. All the talent in the world but this young upstart doesn't enjoy the defensive side of the game. We'd try him out at corner forward, but we won't move Bernard out the field, he's only 5'4. Green has Arts in UCD down as his first choice on his CAO application, but we think a few a few run-outs for the senior side might make him think twice about the local IT.
Oscar at centre-forward
Dictating the play, slicing open defences, this boy has it all. Since he's put the beer and women to one side his game has gone up a notch, but those orange boots make him an easy target. What ever happened to a simple pair of black Puma Kings?
Fred at full-forward
Say what you want about his curly hair, the man knows where the goal is. His commitment can be questioned, he used to be a constant fixture in the senior side, but put an arm around his shoulder, hand him the no.14 and watch him turn it on when it's needed. A clutch-player if ever we saw one.
Bernard at corner forward
He's quick, he's fast and he's got a pace. A nightmare for his marker, Bernard is an apprentice mechanic who finds time to play matches but rarely shows up to training. Considering changing his career path and becoming a postman.
Jo as the impact sub
6'4 and good off both feet, he feels hard-done by riding the bench. With rock-solid belief in his ability, he's adamant he should be starting, but the truth is, he's only on the panel because our other striker signed for Spain last season.
Picture credit; Pat Murphy / SPORTSFILE
