The Premier League sides have mirrored goings-on in Westminster of late - in spite of their own best efforts, they just can't take themselves out of Europe.
All four have progressed to the last-16 phase for the second straight year, although their record this year was decidedly patchy:
The draw for the knockout stages takes place next Monday, December 17th, and here are the sides each of the English teams can draw.
Here are the rules to keep in mind - teams can't draw the team they faced in the group stages, and also cannot face teams from their own country.
Manchester City
City are the only English team to actually go and top their group, meaning they should get an easier draw than their compatriots. City can be drawn against any of the following:
Atletico Madrid, Schalke, Ajax, Roma
Best-case scenario: Schalke - the German side came through the easiest group (ahead of Galatasaray and Lokomotiv Moscow) and are enduring a miserable Bundesliga season in which they've collected 14 points from 14 games.
Worst-case scenario: Atletico Madrid - Simeone's team haven't become as sparkling as their summer business - Tomas Lemar, mainly - promised, while old reliables Diego Costa and Diego Godin have faltered thus far. That said, they are a more obdurate opponent than Roma, and much more experienced than Ajax.
Liverpool
Last year's finalists squeaked through in spite of losing all of their away games, but have been hoisted to the last-16 by their remarkable form at Anfield - they have yet to lose a European game at home under Jurgen Klopp, and have won all but three of those games. Here are the sides that they can face in the next round:
Borussia Dortmund, Barcelona, Porto, Bayern Munich, Real Madrid, Juventus
Best-case scenario: Porto, probably. Liverpool beat them 5-0 away from home at the last-16 stage of last season's competition. Although they might well fancy a revenge mission against Real Madrid, given Real's wretched form and the chance to welcome Sergio Ramos to Anfield...
Worst-case scenario: Barcelona, probably - of the players unlikely to be awed by the Anfield atmosphere, Barca have most of them: Luis Suarez and Phillippe Coutinho are well used to it, while Leo Messi is too good to be bothered by anything.
Spurs
Tottenham became only the third English side to qualify having lost their opening two games, so they'll be glad to be this far. That's a good thing, because a tough, tough game is in store:
Borussia Dortmund, PSG, Porto, Bayern Munich, Real Madrid, Juventus
Best-case scenario: Porto.
Worst-case scenario: Juventus, probably.
Manchester United
United have made it to February: whether Jose Mourinho will remains to be seen. If he does, he will be preparing to meet one of the following:
Borussia Dortmund, PSG, Porto, Bayern Munich, Real Madrid, Barcelona
Best-case scenario: If Jose is still about, he'd love a return home to Porto.
Worst-case scenario: All of the teams above have their vulnerabilities, but Barcelona look to have the fewest. Plus, of all teams that won't suffer against a deep-lying defence, it's the one with Leo Messi.
