So, obviously, there were too many people otherwise engaged this evening, when we put out the call for suggestions for our Valentine's Day Heaven Eleven earlier.
Yeah, thanks a lot guys! Anyway, we've decided to go with a few of the 'cleaner' proposals we did get:
TEAM NAME: Bobby Valentine's Love Gunners
A tip of the hat to a Manchester United great from 1903. You may be gone awhile Bobby, but your legacy is safe with the Love Gunners.
OWNER: Romance Abramovich
A big-spender who isn't afraid to treat the ladies in his life, Abramovich couldn't resist getting on board the 'love train'.
MANAGER: Joachim Love
We think this is who Ned on Twitter meant. He either got mixed up between German manager Lowe and compatriot Jurgen Klopp, or else he meant Klopp and it was a really useless suggestion. Either way Ned, we got there!
GOALKEEPER: Tim Flowers
Literally the first name on the team sheet, we went with the former Blackburn Rovers and Leicester City stopper because we decided to go with a less controversial choice when it became a coin-toss between him and international teammate David Seaman.
RIGHT-BACK: Ian Harte
Before anyone starts, we know the Drogheda legend usually lined up on the left, but we reckon he'd be sound enough to take a role on the right, just to scrape into the BVLG FC starting eleven.
CENTRE-HALF: Djimi Milk-Trayore
Djimi was always a real giver and a great dancer. Who could forget the night he helped Richard Chaplow's cross into his own net at Turf Moor, practising his ballroom twirls?
CENTRE-HALF: Frank de Wooer
One of Crystal Palace managing flop Frank's favourite Valentine's Day tricks was going into the bathroom with twin, Ronald de Wooer, swapping clothes and going home with the other's wife. Those guys were crazy.
LEFT-BACK: Danny Rose
In the toss-up for left-back, Rose proved not as sound as Louth man Harte, insisting he maraud down the left-flank. Those lads that play for England really are a pack of....
CENTRE-MID: Billy Forget-Me-Knott
Billy is somewhat of a Tinder pest. After trying his best to make the big time at Chelsea, West Ham and Sunderland as a kid, he now runs around begging less good-looking clubs to take him on. Currently tearing it up for Concord Rangers in the National League South.
CENTRE-MID: Roy Too-Keane
Aw this lad sickens your ass. Soppy as shite, and just way too nice, his online dating profile shows he's well travelled. Once spent all of 48 hours in South-East Asia.
RIGHT WING: Joseph Desiré Job
Filled full of lust. Couldn't go on a night out in the North-East during his Middlesbrough spell without cracking some sort of inappropriate joke involving his name. Wild man.
LEFT WING: Martin Darling
The dazzling Swede turned up in Blackburn to call an end on a glittering career, but always quick to get his kit off and get rubbed down on a bed, Martin spent most of his time in Lancashire with the physio. Chancer!
STRIKER: Giorgios Amorous
Pretty boy Georgie has a big heart and is great with kids. Hearts literally melted every time we saw him and his little Lurgan pal, Jay Beatty together.
STRIKER: Vagner Love
The spearhead of the BVLG FC attack, a real lothario who puts his success with the opposite sex down to arriving home with increasingly outlandish beads. Hair beads, of course.
