Last month, during West Ham v. Tottenham on opening day, we saw what might yet be the funniest moment of the Premier League season when some boozed-up young lad decided to hoof a surprisingly well-struck free kick at the Hammers goal after running the full length of Upton Park.
His name is Jordon Dunn, 22, of Dover in Kent. Yesterday, he felt the full rigours of the law for his indiscretion when he was fined £305 (€385) for breaching Section 4 of the Football Offences Act 1991, which says it is an offence to go on to the playing area without lawful authority or excuse.
The lifelong West Ham fan was not hit with a football banning order as his previous good character was taken into account, as well as his request that he be able to take his 10-month son to the football when he gets older.
Dunn had admitted to drinking six beers before the game, but denied being a thug or a hooligan.
Passing sentence at Thames Magistrates’ Court in east London, District Judge Gareth Branston said, presumably to groans from the public gallery:
You had consumed alcohol and your stride pattern was a bit out of kilter, but to borrow a phrase you did bend it like Beckham.
Regrettably it was about 30mph slower than Beckham.
The judge said Dunn’s impromptu shot was “easily” saved by West Ham goalkeeper Adrián, but referred to Christian Eriksen’s subsequent free kick from the same spot, saying: “I understand that the professional footballer who followed you did not do any better.”
He also said it was a “small mercy” that Dunn had “decided to remain fully clothed”.
At the time of his arrest, a presumably uninhibited Dunn told police it was his dream to “run on the pitch and kick the ball”.
He apologised in court for invading the pitch.