So Louis van Gaal's daughter Brenda is on Twitter, under her real name and with the handle @brendavangaal. Some United fans quickly tracked her down and proceeded to treat her Twitter as a cross between official Louis van Gaal welcome vehicle, fertile ground for senseless abuse and as a means of passing on messages to her dad about transfers and team selection. It was all enough to provoke an official reaction from Brenda, who seems just as able to handle the nonsense as the Iron Tulip himself.
As with many languages, there are two versions of the word "you" in Dutch, one formal and one familiar. It has been widely reported that Louis has always insisted that Brenda (pictured above, on the right) and her sister Renata address him using the formal "you", as one would a teacher or superior.
True to the family hatred of bullshit, Brenda was quick to spell out her disapproval of the Twitter bombardment:
Dear MU fans, Thank you for the warm Welcome. But to be clear. I will not pas any Messages to my father.
— Brenda van Gaal (@brendavangaal) May 25, 2014
It didn't stop the messages from pouring in, though:
@brendavangaal how else will he know who to sign?!
— Vida United (@UnitedView7) May 25, 2014
@brendavangaal just ask your father to sign Di Maria, Strootman , Shaw and Subotic please :v
— the Ginger Prince (@VaridAeron) May 25, 2014
Please can you tell your dad we need about 6new players and don't trust ed Woodward! P.s watch out for Zaha ;) @brendavangaal
— Jon 'MUFC' Huggans (@retfordred1234) May 25, 2014
@brendavangaal tell him to kick Ed woodward's ass... This guy can't negotiate or buy players. P.S Welcome to Manchester ;)
— Amrish (@amrish10) May 25, 2014
@brendavangaal tell your father, buy a midfielder to MUFC
— Ziyad MUFC (@ZiyadAlMansour) May 25, 2014
@brendavangaal tell your father to sell young and cleverley
— Raziya..? (@RaziyaM94) May 25, 2014
Others were just well meaning greetings, and didn't always need correct grammar or spelling to get their point across:
@brendavangaal We love Man utd and love everyone related Man utd
— Firdaus(EtosyManUTD) (@Etosy21) May 25, 2014
@brendavangaal great welcomes , wait #LVG in #MUFC , hopes on him are great
— Mohammed Sami (@mo7amed_sami) May 25, 2014
@brendavangaal I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE LOUIS VAN GAAL!!!!!!
— GattLUHG (@M_FranG) May 25, 2014
@brendavangaal @StrettyNews wow some of you people are absolutely ridiculous.grow up. Welcome Brenda! :) if you ain't Dutch,you ain't much!
— Andrew (@ballincrazy) May 25, 2014
@brendavangaal I wish your dad the best of luck managing our team! We need a top manager, and we now have one!
— Lewis Laffan (@lewislaffan) May 25, 2014
Many, many tweets were references to those ridiculous rumours involving Wilfried Zaha and David Moyes' daughter.
@brendavangaal @DanielHarris Managers daughter on Twitter, don't tell Zaha etc
— Josh Dyson (@DysonJosh) May 28, 2014
And some were just plain rude:
EH BRENDER LET ME BUM YOUR HEAD OFF @brendavangaal
— BOKO DONZ (@SpurgeonPowers) May 25, 2014
Brenda herself seemed more concerned about the tweets she couldn't understand, though. The following translates as "I am considering cancelling my account because I do not know what to do with all those tweets in Arabic."
Ik overweeg mijn account op te zeggen, omdat ik niet weet wat ik moet doen met al die tweets in Arabisch.
— Brenda van Gaal (@brendavangaal) May 21, 2014
And finally, this was not from the real Jay Spearing, unfortunately.
@brendavangaal can you ask him to lend me a tenner?
— Jay Spearing (@jayspearo) May 26, 2014
