What is it about the transfer windows? It seems as if everyone goes absolutely crazy, thinking there isn't enough non-sensical transfer rumours out there that they have to invent some - or give updates on the biggest saga of the summer even when there isn't any to give.
Two examples - Memphis Depay to Barcelona for £17 million last week? Not happening. And everyone falling over themselves about Paul Pogba waking up in the morning. He's awake - that means he's going back to Manchester United! He might, he might not - let's wait for something concrete shall we?
Here's the best, the most relevant, and the stupidest transfer rumours of this early Sunday:
With N'Golo Kante leaving the Premier League champions, the rest of the Premier League have taken this to mean there will be a firesale. Everton are the latest team to be shopping in the midlands, and they want Kasper Schmeichel to compete with new signing Maarten Stekelenburg to replace Tim Howard. According to the Daily Mail, Leicester want £20 million for the Dane - but they really want him to stay. Sounds unlikely to me.
Everton are apparently shedding their tags as stingy spenders, they are also in for Newcastle midfielder Giorgio Wijnaldum. But, the Daily Mail also say that Spurs also want the Newcastle - who don't want to let him go. It's hard to see the Dutchman staying in the Championship - but at those prices (£27 million) he might be stuck on Tyneside. If he does leave, it's hard to imagine Everton paying that much for anyone.
Of course, we can't have a transfer roundup without mentioning Pogba. There are literally over 1,000 articles on google that mention Paul Pogba in the last 24 hours. Sky Sports today said that Ed Woodward has just started negotiating with Juventus over the move. Just started. We're in for a long run.
Sky Sports also mentions that James Rodriguez wants to join United - aka he's angling for a new Real Madrid contract, and Nemanja Matic is going to join Man United. Not happening.
There is a report that United are after a Brazilian right-back called Fabinho, who Mourinho knows from his Madrid days. There might be something in that.
What is happening in Chelsea though is that Juan Cuadrado is staying at Stamford Bridge. Whether he plays or not is another thing. At least Conte seems to be honest.
Moving across London, Arsene Wenger has heard there's a good young German player he wants. Yes. he's an attacking playmaker, and he's young. That's right in Wenger's wheelhouse right? Julian Draxler is the name mentioned, who was named in Germany's Olympic squad. Why that's relevant is that the Germans only named players who won't be making transfers so they can concentrate on Rio. Sorry Arsene.
Sky in Italy: If Higuain wants to go, Napoli would rather negotiate with Arsenal. Will not negotiate with Juventus. Price for Juve is €94m
— Kaveh Solhekol (@SkyKaveh) July 16, 2016
He might have to make do with the annual rumour that Gonzalo Higuain is coming to Arsenal. But if it actually happens, how will we be able to speculate next year? The Gunners have been boosted by Napoli - who said they don't want to sell him to Juventus - but might to Arsenal. There's also rumours in France that they've bid for Lyon's young French winger/forward Alex Lacazette. That's also a modus operandi of Wenger's.
Last but not least, Liverpool's transfer rumours are always the most interesting. Probably because they aren't always the superstars that United and Arsenal are always unsuccessfully linked to. The Mirror has them linked with a £21 million move for Croatian Marcelo Brozovic, via Gazzetta dello Sport from Inter. Atletico Madrid and Arsenal are also apparently interested. What could this mean? I haven't a clue. Probably nothing.
That's all for today, we'll be here doing this every day from now until we pass out with concussion from banging our heads on the wall after doing so many of these.