Yesterday we brought you the ideal summer transfer scenario for the Premier League's biggest clubs, and today were flipping the idea on it's head and dig into the deepest area of doubt and fear in your football mind.
No club plans to have a shite transfer window, but the threat of Spanish birds of prey swooping in and stealing your best player if he has a fantastic season, and the breaking down of fax machines or what-have-you, things can go very, very wrong.
There are a number of clubs who simply cannot afford to get it wrong again this time around. Manchester United and Ed Woodward badly need to get more hits than misses, Arsene Wenger is continually under pressure, and the new managers Conte and Guardiola will want to hit the ground running.
Here is everything you don't want to happen.
Leicester City
In: Jason Puncheon, Ritchie De Laet returning from loan, Jack Colback.
Out: N'Golo Kante, Riyad Mahrez, Jamie Vardy.
All Leicester City need to do is hang on to their three stars and go again next year, so the worst thing that could happen is all three piss off to take a pay-rise elsewhere. N'Golo Kane will probably move on, but should either of Mahrez or Vardy leave too it could be disastrous. All three would be a nightmare.
In terms of players coming in, the likes of Jason Puncheon and Jack Colback to add depth would have been signed before all three leave, and the squad would be gutted right before the deadline, which would need Ritchie De Laet to come back as cover.
Tottenham Hotspur
In: Matt Richie, Sergio Romero, Scott Parker.
Out: Harry Kane, Hugo Lloris, Toby Alderweireld.
Ahh Tottenham. Having lost Harry Kane to Real Madrid and Hugo Lloris to Juventus, Mauricio Pochettino panics and brings in Matt Richie from Bournemouth, but the squad is still too thin. After bumping into him in a Fulham coffee shop and realising that he's not too busy, Scott Parker is added to the squad, but they still need a keeper.
Poch, still reeling and not sure what he should do, turns to compatriot Sergio Romero in an act of utter devastation.
Arsenal
In: Third top goalscorer in Ligue 1, American U17 international, Wilfried Zaha.
Out: Laurent Koscielny, Francis Coquelin, Mesut Ozil.
Same old Arsenal. Arsene Wenger, in an act of defiance against the fans, insists that a big name signing is coming all summer before unveiling Zaha on deadline day.
After deciding that whoever finishes third in the Ligue 1 goalscoring charts will be signed, an unknown U17 international from Portland is signed to keep Kroenke happy.
Manchester City
In: Pedro, Bojan, Marc Muniesa, Jack Rodwell again.
Out: Sergio Aguero, Kevin De Bruyne, Fernandinho.
Rather than spend cash and turn City into a European powerhouse, Pep Guardiola is determined to prove that he can achieve success without the need for a great squad.
After signing system players in Bojan and Muniesa from Stoke, he also fancies Pedro from Chelsea to provide a very slight upgrade from Jesus Navas. And Jack Rodwell asked if he could go back to the Man City treatment room, to which Pep says yes.
Manchester United
In: Edinson Cavani, Theo Walcott.
Out: David De Gea.
Louis Van Gaal stays on and Ed Woodward finally gets his favourite player ever to sign on the dotted line and Manchester United fans revolt as Cavani becomes the only big name signing up until deadline day.
As United fans watch Sky Sports News, Jim White reveals the worst possible scenario as Woodward thinks he's getting one back on Arsenal for taking Welbeck by signing Theo Walcott, much to the delight of Arsenal fans on twitter.
12 weeks chasing Toni Kroos and Thomas Muller results in another season of promoting academy players due to injury.
West Ham United
In: Jackson Martinez, Phil Jones, Ivica Olic.
Out: Dimitri Payet.
After the success of Dimitri Payet, West Ham's owners lose the run of themselves in chasing a big name signing and end up with moody Colombian Jackson Martinez, who has decided to pack the Chinese dream in after six months.
In a bit to bolster their backline the sign Phil Jones on the cheap from Man United, but despite failing a medical they attempt to find some sort of 'Ledley King' solution, but that's an awful, awful idea.
Ivica Olic is brought in to provide some Croatian work ethic but after a training ground bust-up with Andy Carroll neither player wants to play for the club and hand in transfer requests.
Liverpool
In: Kevin Großkreutz, Graziano Pelle, Matty Targett, Keisuke Honda.
Out: Philippe Coutinho, Not Simon Mignolet.
Jurgen Klopp opts against using his knowledge of the Bundesliga to find hidden gems, and instead reverts to his old pal Kev Großkreutz who arrives on a free from Stuttgart.
Eager to keep Liverpool's proud tradition alive, he asks the wrong person on the board what the club usually look for in a transfer signing and fails to see the sarcasm in "just Southampton players..." and in come Graziano Pelle and Matty Target.
Keisuke Honda is a deadline day deal, but like Shinji Kagawa before him he quickly realises he doesn't like England at all.
Chelsea
In: Didier Drogba, Martin Caceres, Simone Zaza, Yaya Toure.
Out: Willian, Kurt Zouma.
Abramovic goes rougue on Conte and demands that Didier Drogba be signed. Having not paid attention at all this season the Russian then agrees a deal for Yaya Toure and thinks he has pulled off a masterstroke. Toure and Cesc Fabregas combine for the laziest midfield pairing in Premier League history.
Martin Caceres and Simone Zaza are signed from the Juventus bench for systematic purposes, but the Paul Pogba, Leonardo Bonucci, and Paulo Dybala news never materialises.
