Once upon a time, the words of the prophets were written on the subway walls and tenement halls. Today, that has evolved. True words of wisdom can now be read upon tricolours at major tournaments. Four years on from the grand, socio-economic comment of 'Angela Merkel Thinks We're At Work' we are ready to see another series of flags beguile our stint in France. Loads of you have already submitted your flags to our Euro 2016 Facebook Group:
Get involved in our #Euro2016 facebook group for useful tips, and a shitload of flags https://t.co/PJWL2cJF8k pic.twitter.com/ZSpZB8RLBg
— Balls.ie (@ballsdotie) May 6, 2016
If you are still planning to make your own, worry not. While plagiarism is to be strongly denounced, here are some of the avenues you can still explore:
Father Ted
What's been done
What can still be done
A Bishop Brennan-style 'You address me by my proper title, you little bollocks' for the Italian game after Antonio Conte appeared to confuse us for Northen Ireland at the Euro 2016 draw.
Alternatively, in the (extremely unlikely) that we are out of contention for qualification by that final game against the Italians, you could do a Father Stack and emblazon 'I've had my fun, that's all that matters'. Of course, we shouldn't be so pessimistic. And Roy Keane may spontaneously combust if he sees it.
Puns on Players' Names
What's been done
What can still be done
The above efforts are solid, although are nothing on the 'We Have Long-Cox' from Euro 2012.
This may never be matched, although we have yet to spot James: (McC)Lean, Fighting Machine. I thought of Keane for Victory and Coleman Cuts The Mustard and instantly felt a deep, deep sense of shame. So don't use those. A riff on The Brady Bunch toes the line of acceptable taste.
References to RTE Personalities
What's been done
What can still be done
Be self-deprecating with an Eamon Dunphy-inspired Good Flag, Not A Great Flag effort, while John Giles should be worthy of being immortalised in a flag also, given that it is his final tournament. Also, is anyone going to show some love for Peter Collins?
The Use of French Slogans
What's been done
What can still be done
For the love of God, will somebody please do a Liberté, Equalité, Christie flag. If you do it and have it spotted on camera, we might send you a t-shirt.
Conor McGregor
What's been done
What can still be done
Nothing. This is fantastic, and not sure that it can be surpassed. McGregor's incorrigible confidence and self-promotion is just about as far from the regular Irish mentality as possible. We need a little bit of self-deprecation on a flag.
Phallic References
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What can still be done
This strand of references had its apotheosis with 'We Have Long-Cox'. Johnny Walters lends itself to this type of flag extremely well. There also gags to be made around Darren Randolph's Clean Sheets and certain players' ability to run (last) for the full duration of a game (all night).
References to the Socio-Economic Realities of the European Union
What's been done
What can still be done
Tricky, this. After Shane Long vanquished her boys in October, Angela Merkel will be keenly aware that Irish fans are headed to the Euros. Elsewhere, Jean-Claude Junker is hard to fit on a flag. There is a strong chance that we get an England: Out of the Euros before Europe sign, however.
See Also: Conor Sammon Has Found Has A New Club
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