We know that you've been there. You hear sickening thud of you're late un/intentional, frustrated challenge hitting home, the protests from the opposition and the shrill sound of the referee's whistle ringing around your head. You don't even have to look up - you know whats about to happen - it's a red card.
There are now a very limited number of options left to you as a player, what do you do after being sent off? What is the appropriate way to react? Do you you make a fuss? Or accept your fate and trudge dejected down the tunnel...
We've come up with an incredibly helpful guide to aid you in making your decision.
1. The incredulous laugh technique
Attempt to sow the seed of doubt by laughing hysterically at the referee's ludicrous call. Be prepared. This will either make him second guess himself or galvanise his decision.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlI_n-etCck
2. Push him to the ground. Hard.
Try and win him over using concentrated fear Throw him to the grass a-la Paolo Di Canio; watch him squirm before revoking his shit decision. Actually, never do this.
3. Take your punishment lying down.
You know you've sinned and you want to take your punishment like a man. So you prostrate yourself in front of the referee and take whatever medicine he chooses to give you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImYlu7THs9o
4. Screech loudly.
Run down the tunnel as fast as you can and screech at the top of your lungs in defiance and disbelief. This technique is probably the most advisable. It accurately displays the hurt you're feeling yet it remains relatively in-offensive.
5. Fight everyone. Try to bring others down with you.
Not a very noble technique. Though nobility usually goes out the window with the second yellow. Cue Joey Barton
6. Don't bother leaving the pitch.
Just don't leave, even if your own players and management are trying to haul you off, stand your ground and refuse to go. This rarely works.
See Also: The Sad Dublin Fan Has Been Sad Many Times Before
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