A fantastic few days in Paris as whole street-scapes turned green and the Irish team delivered a performance to take some pride in. Here are seven essential phrases which sum up the week that was had.
1. "€8.50 for a bottle of Carlsberg?"
Fan: You're fuckin' jokin' me?
Barman: I know eet ees expensif?
Fan: Ya reckon, yeah?
Apparently, it gets worse than €8.50 for a bottle. Rumours are emerging of pubs demanding €12.00 for pints. Two Meath men were witnessed traipsing through the rather subdued San Michele area on Sunday night on a blackly comic quest to find the most expensive pint in town. Twas they who informed us of this grizzly €12.00 business.
Four years ago, it was all very different. Guilty Polish bartenders could be heard apologising to Irish fans for their shameless price gouging. The Irish supporters cracked up at the admission and said they couldn't believe how cheap it all was. (Cue muffled Polish cursing).
2. "1-0 and you fucked it up!!!'
A song which peaked in popularity late on Saturday evening and which was belted out with giddy regularity right up until 7.00pm (local time) on Monday evening, whereupon all renditions abruptly stopped.
3. 'Yeah, yeah, we're on the Moulin Rouge area now. Some craic here last night. Where ye? Here, my battery's running low here...
The Moulin Rouge area on the 18th arrondissement is home to a number of Irish pubs and has become the official base for the Irish supporters in Paris. On Saturday, they blocked off the road, slowing the traffic to a crawl, only allowing drivers pass if they beeped the horn about 4,000 times. Larger vehicles like busses and vans were mounted by several fans, at least one of whom treated the crowd to an impromptu showing of the Full Monty.
4. "These were the last two cans in the off-licence"
It has often been said that the price of drink would drive one to drink. In Paris at the present time, it is more accurate to say that the price of drink would drive one to the off-licence. The price gouging of the local pubs has received the appropriate response from the Irish hordes, namely interminable queues outside pokey little off-licences nearby. These resemble the queues for the women's toilets in Electric Picnic. Early on Monday, one off-licence in the vicinity of the Moulin Rouge saw its alcohol stocks entirely cleaned out.
5. "Did Tipp beat Cork? Fuck!"
That's as assuming you have an interest in GAA as well as soccer. Many don't, of course. There was a strong division among the crowd in Corcoran's on Sunday evening as to whether they wanted to watch Roscommon-Sligo or Poland-Northern Ireland.
We're aware that this sort of thing enrages the 1980s Hot Press crowd. Father Ted co-writer Arthur Mathews found something to lament in the sight of fellas in GAA jerseys traipsing around the French capital, even going so far as to offer a public apology to the locals on twitter.
There is strong anecdotal evidence that wearing a Sligo jersey around Paris on Sunday and Monday made one a magnet to strangers wishing to engage in folksy banter.
Brian Kerr's spotted lots of GAA jersies in Paris. I apologise to the locals for the horrendous visual pollution of their beautiful city.
— Arthur Mathews (@Munchious) June 13, 2016
6. "What's the story with this French analysis?"
BeIN Sports is on the telly in pretty much every pub and cafe one walks into. The post-match discussions on French TV are quite the spectacle. There is a studio audience in the background and the lads seem to having great gas on there.
The whole thing seems more James Corden than Gary Neville. At one stage last night, one of the contributors stood on top of a table.
It's much wackier than anything John Giles has been involved in, and we include that time he sang Nat King Cole on Miriam O'Callaghan's talkshow in that.
7 "You're shit but your birds are fit"
The consensus Irish opinion on our Swedish friends.
8. "Fuck it like, we should have won that!"
Those in France are united with those back here on this score.
Happy with the performance. Reveling in the memory of our brilliant goal. Relieved that it's already not going to be like Euro 2012. All to play for after one game. Still though, the three points were there for us.
