Stuart Pearce is coming out of retirement to play with a rural side struggling in their division having dubbed the "worst" in their country.
By now you may realise we are not talking about storied 2003 and 2004 FAI Cup winners Longford Town.
Pearce has eschewed the opportunities to follow in the footsteps of legends like Graham Gartland and Eric Levine and instead has signed for Longford AFC, a non-league side based in Gloucestershire.
Unlike 1969 FAI Intermediate Cup winners Longford Town, Longford AFC are largely known for their stupefying depths of mediocrity.
Longford AFC are currently rooted to the bottom of the Gloucestershire Northern Senior League Division Two. They are unlikely to get off the foot of the table anytime soon, with a goal difference of minus 178. They have scored just one goal all season.
Their heaviest defeat was the 17-0 reversal at home to Bibury.
Pearce joins the club as a kind of crusader for the cruddy, as he belives in the importance of the non-leagues:
I started out in non-league football playing for Wealdstone before joining Coventry City.
So I'm looking forward to working with manager Nick Dawe, and helping a group of talented young footballers achieve their dreams and, hopefully transforming both the dressing room confidence, as well as the on-the-pitch performance, and seeing how far they can go up the league.
The club's manager Nick Dawe welcomed the arrival of Pearce:
A year ago we were playing in front of one man and his dog and now we are set to [play in front of] hundreds for Stuart Pearce's debut.
Stuart knows that there will be no special treatment, he will still need to pay his £5 a game subs.
Pearce will train with Longford AFC before playing one game with the side.
Longford will hope that Pearce doesn't indulge in a prediction for their future prospects: he isn't very good at them.
[BBC]
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