It's an infamous old adage at this point but, after Wednesday's Champions League semi-final drama, perhaps clubs will actually add the question, 'Can they do it on a windy night in Stoke?' to their scouting criteria.
Real Madrid - in classic Madridista fashion - have reached yet another European Cup final after coming from 1-0 down at home to Bayern Munich in the dying moments of Wednesday's second leg.
With Jude Bellingham, Vini Jr, Luka Modric, et. al to call on, one would be forgiven on first glance for assuming that Real Madrid had been bailed out by one of their group of superstars at the Bernabeu.
But no. In reality, it was former Stoke City star Joselu who popped up with both goals, much to the hilarity of Premier League fans who watched the Spaniard lining out for both the Potters and Newcastle United in the 2010s.
The 34-year-old striker may be the Champions League hero of the day - but he is not the only cult hero from the 2015-16 Stoke City squad.
In truth, the squad from that campaign - the only season Joselu spent with the club - is one of the funniest groupings of players we've ever seen.
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The highlights of the sensational 2015/16 Stoke City squad
Joselu
We start with the hero of the day.
"It's a Stoke City ball" 😅
Paul Scholes and Owen Hargreaves discuss Joselu's impact off the bench 👊
🎙 @ReshminTV pic.twitter.com/GkIC02BGUo— Football on TNT Sports (@footballontnt) May 8, 2024
Spanish striker Joselu joined Stoke City from Hannover for just under £6 million in the summer of 2015 - though he would fail to make too much of an impact at the Britannia Stadium.
Just four goals in 22 Premier League appearances was an underwhelming return for the Potters' number 11, and he would spend the following season on loan at Deportivo before another underwhelming Premier League spell with Newcastle.
One could hardly have predicted that he would be a Champions League semi-final match-winner eight years on from his disappointing campaign with Stoke City. Football's a funny beast.
The Irish contingent
Joselu had several Irish teammates during his time in England, with two of them first-team regulars throughout the campaign.
Glenn Whelan was near-ever-present, with the industrious midfielder starting 37 of the side's 38 games, while Jon Walters was also involved in the majority of their Premier League ties.
The Irish contingent at Stoke in 2015-16: Jon Walters, Shay Given, Glenn Whelan, Marc Wilson, Stephen Ireland (Photos: Sportsfile)
One player who Irish fans might have forgotten was still knocking about the Premier League at that time was Stephen Ireland. Almost a decade after his departure in disgrace from the national team, the former PFA Young Player of the Year nominee was still an important squad player for Stoke, making 13 Premier League appearances off the bench.
Elsewhere, Marc Wilson and Shay Given had to be content with more sporadic minutes.
The Britannia truly was a hub for Irish players - almost 20% of the 23-man EURO 2016 squad were Stoke players at the time of the competition.
Bojan
When you think of random Premier League transfers the obvious examples come to mind - Alexandre Pato to Chelsea, Odion Ighalo to Manchester United, and Bojan Krkic to Stoke City.
Once touted as the next Lionel Messi, Bojan's stock had dipped dramatically by the time he arrived in the Premier League during the 2014-15 season.
As these kinds of signings go, Bojan was not the worst, and he scored a respectable seven goals from the wing during the '15-16 campaign before successive loans to Mainz and Alaves. His permanent departure from Stoke in 2019 marked the end of his top-level career, and he retired at the age of just 32 last year, after spells in Canada and Japan.
Xherdan Shaqiri
Perhaps the face of this Stoke team and, bar the new addition of Joselu, undoubtedly the player who enjoyed the most success after leaving the club.
Shaqiri arrived in the summer of 2015 for a then-club-record fee and instantly became a central figure of Mark Hughes' side. A Champions League winner with Bayern in 2013 with previous spells at Basel and Inter Milan under his belt, Shaqiri's career appeared to be in decline when he arrived at Stoke.
He excelled in the Premier League with the relative minnows and earned himself a move to Liverpool in 2018, where he would win a Premier League title and another Champions League crown. Shaqiri still plays today for Chicago Fire and will line out at EURO 2024 with Switzerland.
Ibrahim Afellay
Like Bojan, Afellay was an ex-Barca wunderkind who must have been left pondering how on Earth he had ended up at Stoke.
Unlike Bojan, however, Afellay failed to discover any particularly striking form with the club and suffered from persistent injury problems during his time at Stoke. In fact, the Dutchman only played 49 league games across four seasons with the club due to persistent knee issues, and was released in January 2019.
Now retired, Afellay works as a TV pundit in his native Netherlands.
Marko Arnautovic
A controversial figure, Marko Arnautovic led the line for the Potters and was their top scorer in the league during the 2015-16 campaign.
Arnautovic has spent much of the years since departing the Britannia hopping between clubs, but Stoke remains the club at which he spent the most time. The Austrian striker lasted four seasons with the side - though the 15-16 campaign was his most goal-laden, bringing half of his total Premier League strikes for Stoke.
Recently, Arnautovic was in the news once again in England. In the summer of 2022, Manchester United fans protested against links to signing the striker due to a previous controversy from EURO 2020 saw him banned for racially abusing North Macedonia players.
The best of the rest
The fact that all of the above players were on the books at Stoke City at the same time is sensational enough. In truth, we've only scratched the surface - the entire squad is a "who's who" of Premier League flops, cult heroes, and genuine legends alike.
From Peter Crouch to Steve Sidwell, Charlie Adam to Glen Johnson, all the way through to Peter Odemwingie and Mame Biram Diouf, there was something for everyone in the audience.
Most importantly for Real Madrid, there was a clutch Champions League match-winner in there too.
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