This weekend affords the sports fan the rare yet glorious opportunity for three full days of relentless sports consumption. Watch other people move around a lot so you don't have to. It’s the ultimate feast that makes the ‘double-whammy Monday’ that is every post-Bank Holiday Tuesday worth it.
You've a few more hours to get some quick to prepare food in (and drink), say goodbye to the family, and park yourself on the sofa for a long weekend of sport.
If you want to bring in a bedpan to avoid annoying bathroom breaks, we won't judge you.
With that being said, here is the ultimate guide to the sporting events on this Bank Holiday weekend and where you can watch them:
Saturday
Manchester United v Tottenham Hotspur - 12.30pm - Sky Sports Main Event/Premier League
The primary challenger to Pep Guardiola’s march for a first Premier League title will become a lot clearer Saturday afternoon as Manchester United welcome Tottenham Hotspur to Old Trafford. United have hit a minor slump in the league of late after losing away to Huddersfield last week and drawing with Liverpool prior to that.
Spurs have been on great form, but faltered in the League Cup during the week, and will be without the injured Harry Kane.
The game is live on Sky Sports Premier League and Main Event with kick-off at 12.30pm.
Cuala v Kilmacud Crokes - 3.00pm - Eir Sport 2
A short lunch break can be facilitated here before a chock-a-block remainder to the day.
The Dublin Senior Hurling Club Championship Final is televised on Eir Sport this Saturday.
In a repeat of last year’s final, All-Ireland champions Cuala are favourites for the clash and in search of a three in a row for County titles.
It’ll be worth checking out this game if for no other reason than to see can Con O’Callaghan add to an already spectacular year that has seen him claim a Leinster senior and under 21 medal, an All-Ireland senior and u21 medal and an All-Ireland Hurling Club medal.
AC Milan v Juventus - 5.00pm - BT Sports 3
It took some time but Serie A seems to have finally regained some of that cultural glory Italian football is famed for.
Juventus have been the sole mantle carrier the past few years but currently trail Napoli and Inter in the table. Milan splashed the cash this summer yet inexplicably still have Fabio Borini as a regular starter, a possible explanation for their current 8th place.
Despite this, the combined 16 goals in Juve’s last three games and attacking nature of this new-look Milan side indicates a thrilling Italian derby on the horizon.
Ulster v Leinster - 6.30pm - Sky Sports 3
A little bit of crossover here from the San Siro, but the other Interpro derby takes place at Kingspan Stadium on Saturday when Ulster welcome Leinster to Belfast.
Ulster are undefeated at home this year while Leinster are riding high after a convincing win in Europe last weekend. That combined with the provinces being tied on points in conference B should guarantee a highly competitive match.
Jacob Stockdale and Adam Byrne will be up against each other having been both called into the Ireland squad for the first time this week.
Katie Taylor v Anahi Esther Sanchez - 8.00pm - Sky Sports Box Office
Katie Taylor’s passage to the pro ranks looks set to take a step up this weekend as she strives for her first professional world title belt. Taylor has labelled it “the biggest night of my career” but faces significantly stiffer opposition that her recent opponents. Sanchez has fought 19 times professionally with 17 wins, 9 knock-outs and two losses.
The nights action is available on Sky Sports Box Office with coverage starting at 7pm. We reckon Katie should be in the ring just after 8pm.
Anthony Joshua v Carlos Takam - 10.00pm - Sky Sports Box Office
The main event sees Anthony Joshua defend his IBF and WBA heavyweight titles against Carlos Takam. Takam has taken the fight at extremely short notice. Less than two weeks ago, mandatory challenger Kubrat Pulev pulled out of the contest.
The 36-year-old has 39 fights under his belt with 35 wins, 27 knockouts, 3 losses and 1 draw.
Depending on the undercard, the bout should kick-off at about 10pm.
The undercard itself has some other decent clashes with former British Heavyweight champion Dillian Whyte in action for the WBC silver heavyweight.
Sunday
Birmingham City v Aston Villa - 12.00pm - Sky Sports
It’s an early start again on Sunday with the West Midlands derby kicking things off. The rivals occupy contrasting places in the Championship, Aston Villa currently in a play-off spot at 5th while Birmingham teeter above relegation in 21st.
The game also sees Villa boss Steve Bruce return to his former club, and it's always a feisty occasion.
Kilkenny Club Hurling Final - James Stephens v Dicksboro - 2.30pm - TG4
A new look match up in the Kilkenny final, Dicksboro haven’t featured in a final since 2012 while James Stephens have had to wait since 2011 to return to this stage.
Mexican GP - 5.30pm - Sky Sports Formula One
Lewis Hamilton needs a fifth or higher to secure his fourth title and the first Championship double for Mercedes since regulation changes.
The world rejoices.
NFL Redzone - 5.00pm - Sky Sports Mix
If F1 isn't your thing, there's always the madness that is NFL Red Zone on a Sunday night. Be prepared though, it's on for seven hours, and there are no ads. Going to the toilet becomes a big issue. Maybe this is the time to test out the bedpan option.
A reminder, the clocks go back on Saturday night here, but don't in the US, meaning the NFL Sunday starts an hour earlier this weekend.
Monday
Ballymun v St Vincents - 7.00pm - Eir Sport 2
The chair should have a permanent indent at this stage and the eyes starting to strain. Hopefully you got a little sleep and maybe even some fresh air as the early part of Monday offers sparse live sport.
Monday night offers no respite however, with Burnley and Newcastle on Monday Night Football, and closer to home, Philly McMahon’s Ballymun Kickhams take on Diarmuid Connolly’s St Vincents in front of what promises to be a huge crowd at Parnell Park, with live coverage on Eir Sport.
Denver Broncos @ Kansas City Chiefs - 12.00am - Sky Sports Action and Main Event
You’re sitting at home in the dark, bottle bank and belly full, withdrawals starting to creep in. You're thinking about finally leaving the couch, the bed sores have just become a bit much at this stage.
But wait, what’s this? More live sport. One final dose before the return to work.
Sky Sports are televising the Kansas City Chiefs hosting the Denver Broncos. It’s a late one, with coverage kicking off around midnight, but it should be over around 3pm, plenty of time to get a bit of rest in before your morning commute.
Then it’s just a dull Tuesday at work before the Champions League returns to your screen.
Rinse and repeat.
