If you haven't noticed yet, it's a World Cup year, otherwise known as the Irish pastime of cheering against the English at a major tournament.
It may seem petty or small, but they really don't make it easy to like them. The general reaction to marginally beating Tunisia with a last-minute header was typical of the kind of behaviour that puts anyone off even remotely rooting for England.
And yet we all know how it will end; in tears, like Gazza. But the English condition and their relationship with the national team is fascinating. We would never begrudge them excitement or hope ahead of a World Cup, but they never seem to learn from past mistakes, despite the same thing happening over and over again.
Being able to see it all happen from the outset while being so close to our British neighbours gives us a unique perspective as they move through the same hilarious phases of a World Cup.
They might be saying football is coming home, but we know how this goes.
Depression
Usually the beginning of a qualifying campaign is cause for optimism. International football is back, away trips to far flung destinations can be arranged, and anything is possible. Not so for the English, who doubtless have just been knocked back down to Earth following yet another disappointment at a major tournament. Miserable bastards.
Apathy
Few nations have such an aversion to international friendlies like England. To be fair, few people care about friendlies anymore. You can't blame their fans for not getting excited about facing Switzerland at a silent Wembley in September.
The Dutch are playing Scotland in meaningless friendlies. The Italians are struggling to qualify. We play our B/C team and put up a good showing against the Germans and folk moan. England that.
— GeorgeWeahsCousin (@WeahsCousin) November 10, 2017
Bargaining
"We'll qualify and still be shit."
But England are shit and will always be shit so it’s hardly anything to boast about https://t.co/Q3wPIyfuEw
— nic✨????????? (@nicolaskues) November 3, 2017
Quiet Optimism
It's the hope that kills you. That little voice in the back of your head that says, "Not a bad squad this year. Quite good, actually." DON'T DO IT TO YOURSELVES, LADS. THERE'S NO GOING BACK NOW.
Don't mind the England squad, would of had Shelvey in it myself but I see why he's not gone, quite like welbeck in it, his record for England is very good and he's flexible in many positions. I'm in the minority it seems, I think it's as good as we have got ⚽️⚽️??
— Curtis Woodhouse (@curtiswoodhous8) May 16, 2018
Unbridled Delusion
Oh, England. Will you ever learn?
THIS IS WHERE OUR WORLD CUP BEGINS!!! COME ON ENGLAND!! #ThreeLions #ENGNGA pic.twitter.com/EhhjCesumU
— Frimpon (@FrimponOnline) June 2, 2018
Blind Fury
The best part: a national implosion best watched from afar. The final and greatest stage is a thing of beauty, best exemplified by Danny Baker's rant following England's Euro 2016 exit to Iceland.
Absolutely disgraceful, #England. You useless over paid, over indulged mollycoddled shits. You are beyond shame. Disgrace to working people.
— Danny Baker (@prodnose) June 27, 2016
You fucking disgrace. You fucking disgrace. England footballers each and every one of you and your fucking manager are a fucking disgrace.
— Danny Baker (@prodnose) June 27, 2016
You fucking awful craven humiliating disgrace. Go on you fuckers pick up your PL wages you cheap shits. You worms. Fuck you.
— Danny Baker (@prodnose) June 27, 2016
INGERLAND!!
Main image via Shutterstock.
See Also: Ranking The Nine Finest Jerseys You Won't See At The World Cup
