Last night's premiere of the Giles-Dunphy Cadbury's ad stunned the nation.
The rest of their careers had just been building up to this moment. When they eventually retreat from public life, this ad will dwarf anything else either have done. Giles' achievements in the Leeds team of the early 70s will fall into the shadows, Dunphy's journalism, books and pen-slinging will be totally overshadowed.
Rarely has an ad been packed with so many different talking points and dimensions. Books will be written analysing this work of art.
1. Act 1 : The Beginning
Dunphy is in dynamic form early on, giving an uncanny Eamon Dunphy impression, gesturing and pointing and tossing off booming denunciations about what he's witnessing.
Giles, meanwhile, is not really acting at this point. He's just waiting for his cue.
Act 2 : The first dramatic twist
The scene moves on dramatically here. In what can only be described as a very un-John Giles like moment, Giles takes umbrage with what Dunphy is saying. He appears almost hurt, offended.
Act 3 : The homage to 1970's comedy double acts
As Giles gets ready for his Hamlet like soliloquy, lamenting the weakness of the current generation, with their soft spot for evil material goods like personal stereos and walkmans (and Sega Mega Drives no doubt), Dunphy undercuts his pomposity with a classic bit of Eric Morecombe/ Albert Steptoe knowingness.
The 'here we go' followed by the theatrical head shake. Standard.
Act 4 : Dunphy eats like a countess from the 19th century
Dunphy, growing bored of Giles' monologue, eyes up some Cadbury's Dairy Milk chocolate, and proceeds to nibble on it in a remarkably dainty, effeminate fashion. Is there no end to this man's versatility?
Act 5 : Obligatory 'baby' reference
It is now written into every Dunphy contract that the word 'baby', a phrase he never uttered on television before 2008, must feature prominently. Sure enough, 'Brady Bady' attempts to ring him.
Act 6 : A Surreal turn
I think it's fair to say no one anticipated what was coming next. Bruce Willis disclosing that he was in fact a ghost for the benefit of Haley Joel Osmond had nothing on this.
While savouring the Cadbury's Daily Milk chocolate, Dunphy begins mouthing the words to Bacarra's 1977 classic 'Yes sir I can boogie'
Act 7 : The imaginary piano
Some in the audience were recoiling in horror at this point but absolutely everyone was awestruck as Dunphy now warmed to his task of losing the plot. Everyone was aware at this stage that they were witnessing a seminal moment in the life of this nation.
Act 8 : Giles Offended - Mark 2
For the second time, Giles is uncharacteristically scandalised by Eamon's antics. Not for the first time Eamon reassures John that he agrees with him, but never has he done it so patronisingly.
Act 9 : The action shifts again
Another dramatic twist as it is revealed that the young Denis Law is in fact very young. Dunphy was tearing into a young kid at the start of the ad. They are sitting in front of what we suspect is a cafe.
Act 10 : The action loses its way
The maker of the Sopranos, David Chase, said he believed that television should allow for 'dead air and stuff that goes nowhere.'
The makers of this commercial were clearly influenced by this dictum. Here, for reasons that are not wholly obvious, two actors stop and wave at Gilesy and Dunphy. They may be the parents of the boy in question. We don't know. They don't appear in the rest of the ad.
Act 11 : Theatrical wave
Giles looks like an old-style theatrical actor with this wave.
'The boy's done ever so well, darling'
Act 12 : They go full Bollywood
The ad was going this way. Over the course of the 90 seconds, the pair had loosened up to the extent that this ending was inevitable.
Dunphy had loosened up more than Giles.
