If you were left in any doubt as to the size of the occasion yesterday, RTE forcibly reminded you with tasking Conor McGregor to give a strange kind of rallying call before kick-off. Presumably, they were going for some version of New Ireland and speaking to younger Ireland fans when they tasked the UFC fighter with delivering his now trademark, ‘not here to take part, here to take over’ monologue.
McGregor implored us to not apologise for success and talked of the opposition being ‘young pups in their nappies’ while Ireland were ‘knee deep in the trenches’. All of it a backdrop to wild challenges from Roy Keane and James McClean. You were left with the impression that Ireland were going to chokehold Zlatan and co into submission before calling out the Belgians immediately after.
Here is that rallying cry from @thenotoriousMMA to Ireland ahead of the start of #euro2016. We are here to take overhttps://t.co/wvOs5K8O4s
— RTÉ Soccer (@RTEsoccer) June 13, 2016
Video: RTÉ Soccer
Thankfully, the three wise men of Montrose were on hand to sober everything up. This is the last ride for the RTÉ panel and while there are a great many out there who are happy with that fact, there can be little doubt that our viewing experience will be lessened for it.
From the off, Dunphy set out his agenda which could be whittled down to Wes Hoolahan; good, James McCarthy; bad. John Giles meanwhile batted away the stat thrown at him by Darragh Maloney of Zlatan either scoring or assisting in 72% of Sweden’s goals in the last four years. Gilesy pointed out that the great teams would spread that percentage around the field.
Dunphy was concerned with 60’s guitarist and Derby midfielder Jeff Hendricks lack of minutes pointing out that he’d only completed 90 minutes once in the last few months and that was the Championship Play-Off semi-final way back in March. Chippy Brady briefly stepped in to correct him before not being arsed. The panel will never regale you with facts. Facts aren’t showbiz baby.
If Dunphy honestly thought Jeff Hendrick was that good, he might at least make the effort to get his name right #hendricks #irl
— Gavan Reilly (@gavreilly) June 13, 2016
Someone tell Dunphy it's Hendrick not Hendricks. He's thinking of the gin... #IREvSWE
— David Sheehan (@DavidSSport) June 13, 2016
After a positive first half, the panel were in agreeable spirits and praised the Irish performance. Hendrick in particular was getting the star pupil treatment but something was eating Eamo and it’s been eating him for a long time now. Before it was Glenn Whelan who copped the Dunphy flak for not demanding the ball at all times but The Eye of Eamo has moved away from Whelan lately and has fixed its gaze on James McCarthy.
The Everton midfielder had done nothing in the first half according to Dunphy. Ireland simply had to get him off to win the game. Dunphy went as far as to describe him as a waste of space and you were left waiting for Darragh Maloney to challenge him but only silence met the sweeping statement.
By full time the panel were in general agreement that it had been a good Ireland display and that really we should have taken three points. The familiar plea to get on the ball when we’re under pressure gushed forth from all three and Gilesy pined for an Irish Luka Modric.
We were then treated to panel bingo as all the favourites came out, ‘street footballers’ – who are a dying breed, Sweden were no great shakes and Ciaran Clark is a game lad. We did miss one from the list and you suspect it’s the one Gilesy in particular thinks about McCarthy; he lacks moral courage.
Of course most of the ire aimed at McCarthy came from Eamon, who described him as a traffic cop and accused him of getting Roberto Martinez sacked.
The panel’s outright hostility towards McCarthy is not a new thing of course. It’s arguably been brewing ever since he pulled out of the Scotland qualifier at Celtic Park. It’s a strange kind of criticism, anyone who watches him for Everton will speak of a destructive player who gets about the pitch, a role he has more or less fulfilled for Ireland. You’d nearly call him a game lad but that doesn’t appear to be enough for Montrose who seem to think because he’s not dictating games like Luka Modric he should be sacrificed for one of the plethora of Premier League midfielders Ireland have at their disposal. Maybe for the likes of young Stephen Quinn.
The dye is cast within the panel for poor James for the duration of this tournament, nothing short of a herculean performance next Saturday will save him from the ire of Eamo and co because McCarthy is in the Ireland midfield to take part, not take over and for the panel, that’ll never be enough.
