Even by their own exacting standards in the field of humiliation, the England football team's exit from Euro 2016 was excruciatingly embarrassing.
The continent-wide glee at their exit seems to be more magnified and universally felt this time around, possibly due to the identity of their conquerors, not to mention recent political events. If nationalistic voters are going to try their utmost to trigger a global recession, then badwill won't be in short supply.
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England have suffered many humiliations in the past, some even rivaling this one. In honour of the morning that's in it, here are the five worst England defeats in history.
5. Norway 2-0 England, 1993
1993 was possibly the blackest year for English football in living memory. The team compiled a bizarre run of sub-standard performances. Their manager became a hate figure and was subject to such a barrage of abuse and ridicule from the tabloid press that one wondered how his mental health held together.
Unknown to the press and the population, he was also the subject of a fly on the wall documentary for Channel 4. Taylor, with typical optimistic earnestness, agreed to participate in the doc on the basis that it would demonstrate the differences between club and international management.
As it transpired, it became a horribly compelling portrait of a man on the edge, labouring under intense pressure. In one scene, Taylor confided in his assistants that he was sweating profusely in his sleep. He'd wake up and his bed would be sopping wet. The comedy was provided by Taylor's swearing and curious mangling of the English language and Phil Neal's obsequious parroting of Taylor's in-game commentary.
In the documentary, the lowest moment for Taylor was the 2-0 loss in Oslo, one of the worst England displays in history and a match they could have lost 5-0. In a piece of ludicrously convoluted thinking, Taylor deployed Gary Pallister as a left back to nullify the threat of Norway's tall wide player Jostein Flo. It was the game which confirmed that England were now in real danger of missing out on USA 94.
Shortly after the futile 7-1 win over San Marino he was advised not to return to his house as there was a scrum of cameramen crouched outside. He spent his final few days as England manager hiding in his daughter's house.
4. Norway 2-1 England, 1981
Seems strange to toss Norway into the mix for a second time here but the Norwegians occupied a very lowly status in European football when they beat England 2-1 in Oslo in 1981.
Norway finished bottom of the group in qualifying for the 1982 World Cup and England were badly in need of a win. Hungary were topping the group and Romania were nipping at their heels in the race for second spot in the group.
The loss put England under severe pressure to qualify. They needed a 1-0 win over an already qualified Hungary to reach the 1982 World Cup.
All those details are forgotten now.
The first thing anyone remembers about the game is the commentary at the end. It has launched a thousand tweets. The late Mr. Bjorge Lillelien.
3. USA 2-0 England, 1993
The documentary film-makers evidently didn't have the moolah to follow Graham and co to the States for the US Cup.
They merely reported that 'Oslo was miserable and the summer tour was even worse. Defeat to the USA provoked hysterical calls for Taylor's head.'
The Sun's headline the following day read 'Yanks 2 Planks 0'.
In 1993, you see, USA weren't regarded as the respectable outfit they would become in later years. Ireland played the US twice in 1992, beating them 4-1 in Dublin and losing 3-1 in Boston, though the latter result was ignored on the basis that the 1992 US tour was universally regarded as a booze-up.
Their first appearance at a World Cup, in 1990, arrived due to a more generous qualification procedure in the Americas and had plenty in common with Ireland's effort at Euro 2012.
Thomas Dooley and Alexei Lalas grabbed the goals. Taylor was a picture of sullenness and bottled-up frustration on the bench, though he manged a dignified smile when congratulating the opposing managers at the end.
2. USA 1-0 England, 1950
People think that England give off a doltish air of arrogant entitlement these days. Incredibly, they're nowhere near as bad as they used to be.
England didn't compete in the first three World Cups allegedly on the grounds that it undermined the status of the FA Cup as the world's premiere football competition. It was probably more to do with a dispute between FIFA and the FA over payments to players.
England joined FIFA shortly before the 1950 World Cup in Brazil, qualifying with ease via the Home Nations Championship.
England were favourites for the World Cup, on account of their record in the 30s and 40s. Italy, for instance, had won two of the first three World Cups and yet England invariably beat them in head-to-head games.
For the 1950 tournament, they were landed in a group with Chile, USA and Spain. After disposing of Chile 2-0, the USA were regarded as being barely a road-bump.
The Daily Express wrote that to make a fair game of it, England would have to give the US a three goal head-start. The Americans were a band of part-timers and their manager announced that they had no notions of beating England.
After surviving a hail of shots on their own goal early on, the US grew into the game. Near the end of the first half, Joe Geatjens, a centre forward born in Haiti headed home the winner.
1. England 1-2 Iceland, 2016
It's been forgotten in all of this that Iceland beat Holland home and away in qualifying, drew with Portugal and then beat dark horses Austria in the group phase.
Taken in that light, England's defeat last night seems a little more forgivable. However, that info is struggling to make itself heard over the din of people hyperventilating about Iceland's tiny population.
We have to take into account public opinion. The public and the celebrity punters have given their verdict.
The primary reason that England defeats appear so acutely embarrassing is attributable to the bulbous self-regard of many, but not all, of their supporters and pundits.
When Iceland beat Austria in the final group game, the England scouts and backroom team punched the air at their good fortune.
