Listen, I understand that top-flight European football is so immensely popular worldwide that companies are falling over themselves to throw money at the likes of Manchester United, Arsenal, Barcelona, Real Madrid, and Bayern Munich, and I can put up with the cringy Independence Day trailers, and having separate sponsors for every garment, but there comes a point where ads are now distracting both players and fans.
And it can't be accepted.
The digitalisation of seemingly everything we do has seen some fantastic innovations, and has been a goldmine for advertisers. Just this morning I watched 10 seconds of a trailer for 'Office Christmas Party', the shittiest looking comedy film I've seen in a very long time, while I was waiting between stops at Pearse Street DART station.
It's no problem when I'm literally waiting for people to board a train so we can leave, but when I'm trying to watch a football match, I really, really don't need 'MISTER POTATO' flashing across my screen when Manchester United are playing at Old Trafford.
Last night, Bayern's Thiago was caught out as he played a pass to what he thought was a teammate in red, but was instead a digital Santa making a dash down the wing.
Most found it funny, but I'd bet Thiago didn't. He's lucky his teammate was able to make it back and keep the ball in play. But why is this acceptable? Bayern were at home last night. That was their stupid Santa ad running across Thiago's view... What if that had been at an important stage of the game?
Again, I get why advertisers want their product on the boards around the pitch, it's been that way for ages, and it means that when an incredible moment happens, it can be an amazing advert without anybody even noticing. Also, everyone can notice, and think that it's really cool, like this Master Card ad that has gone viral on a number of occasions.
#priceless #Messi pic.twitter.com/Y89flaSxlq
— neyssipage (@neyssipage) December 2, 2016
That's fine. It sits there, on the periphery of the match, only noticed when somebody goes sliding into it, or in the case of Temur Ketsbaia, kicks the absolute shite out of it.
But these new luminescent LED advertisements that flash logos, slogans, and entire sentences to pull your attention away from the game are actually a pisstake.
Even the advertising boards at the Emirates were trolling Arsenal late on in their defeat to FC Bayern. #UCL pic.twitter.com/LX01GYm0
— Football Arena (@football_arena) February 20, 2013
There has to be a line.
In the Premier League, Old Trafford, The Etihad, and The Emirates are the absolute worst for it. Big bright flashing signs that cut through half of the television screen, it's a distraction that is far more likely to make me boycott a product, rather than think to myself 'Hmm.. I actually do need a new car, and that Kia looks spacious!' while I'm questioning Mesut Ozil's work-rate on the wing.
Not to mention, they are so big, and so close to the pitch that they are a hazard to the players, and regularly cause injuries as players go for the ball on the touchline.
That's just funny?Piatti going over the advertising boards in Camp Nou. #funny #football https://t.co/uPYJkatmCn
— aFootballnet (@afootballnet) December 18, 2016
We went from static, fixed advertising hoardings to ones that could interchange. They too were fine. I could tune them out if they move every 30 seconds or so, but the big digital LED boards have gone too far.
It's only a matter of time before Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart are screening their new buddy comedy on the side of the pitch for the duration of a Premier League game, with radio headsets passed out to the fans who want to listen.
This is more of a rant than an opinion, because I have no power to change this and it will only escalate in the coming years. But it's really starting to piss me off.
Ketsbaia's iconic moment of madness now has deeper meaning for me:
