Want to get elected? Well you better make damn sure you get a nice fluffy colour piece with Barry Egan in the Sindo then. It shows your soft side, it shows the electorate that behind the hard exterior, there's a soft gooey inside like a Cadbury's Creme Egg.
Feck it, sure throw in a picture with your wife staring up at you like your farts literally don't stink and you might even be able to squeeze in the Ed 'unlikely sex symbol' Miliband approach to electioneering. But, as we all know by now, the problem with all that gooeyness is that Creme Eggs are bloody horrible and they probably wrecked the economy a few years ago with all their extravagance.
We may be getting away from the Creme Egg issue here but fear not, we're back on point. To counteract all that soft Sindo gooeyness, every good politician knows that you have to have a couple of good stories to let the electorate know you mean business. Step one in that plan is some classic name dropping. The Irish electorate are nothing if not malleable so let everyone know that you have some well known friends outside the Dáil chamber and you're sure to get a few extra votes.
Which brings us to Barry Egan's interview with Micheál Martin and his wife Mary. It starts off as you might expect but then we get down to the nitty gritty - Roy Keane. Not only is he pally with his fellow Corkman, he actually went out of his way to get the Fianna Fáil leader and his son into the Old Trafford players lounge back in the good old days.
When Micheal, my son, was young, a few of us went over to see Man United play in Old Trafford. Roy Keane got us into the players' lounge. The young kids, Micheal and his pals, got autographs from Ronaldo. They were in seventh heaven. I was taking the photographs.
The following morning Roy said his family had gone to Cork and he came to the hotel. The kids were delighted. We had a two-hour chat about everything. Then he said: 'How are you getting to the airport?' I said, 'We'll get a taxi'. Roy said, 'You will not, I'll drive you.' The two kids were in Roy's Audi before you could blink!
Spread it far and wide people, Roy Keane is a thoroughly decent chap who'll give you a lift to the airport if you need it. He probably even likes people coming up to him in the street and giving him a hug. Although, for all our caustic scepticism, it must be said that's a great memory for Martin's kids and fair play to Roy for offering. Now back to the scepticism.
So what does all this mean? Egan sums it up thusly - 'That is more of an endorsement than anything: Roy Keane likes Micheal Martin'. Make of it what you will.
