The finest ever Tony Cascarino related story is, of course, the time he and Andy Townsend listened patiently to a speech from the owner of a local teashop at Italia 90. But there are others too. Here are some of the finest.
Tony Cascarino meets the owner of a teashop
Fresh from his stint leading the EU Presidency, Haughey landed in Rome for Ireland's World Cup quarter-final with Italy. After the 1-0 defeat, he arrived down to the Irish dressing room, flanked by old pal and cabinet minister Brian Lenihan (Senior).
Niall Quinn, in a story which may be apocryphal and is surely embellished, described the scene when the Taoiseach said his piece to the Irish heroes of 1990.
If Quinny's story bears any relationship to the truth, then Haughey, a big nationalist and an even bigger egotist, can't have been too pleased by the reaction of the lads with English accents.
Those of us brought up in Ireland stood there in amazement and he made a speech about the sporting sons of Ireland. It was hair-standing-on-the-back-of-neck stuff. Tony Cascarino was behind me and said loudly 'Who the f**k is that?' ruining the moment.
I thought, Oh my God, and said 'that's the Taoiseach' and Andy Townsend was beside him and said really loudly again 'Who is it, Cas?' and he said 'I don't know, Quinny said he owns a tea shop'.
We cannot confirm whether Townsend or Cascarino have brushed up on their knowledge of the Irish offices of state in the intervening years.
*Cascarino has confirmed to us that this exchange did indeed take place but that he and Townsend were messing at the time and did know who Haughey was.
Tony Cascarino and the Turkish defender
Big Cas's final few rancorous minutes in an Irish jersey occurred in Bursa in a game whose details are hazy to many Irish supporters thanks to the TV blackout in this country.
But everyone has the essential details - Ireland drew 0-0 in Turkey meaning they lost the Euro 2000 playoff on away goals.
Cascarino got stuck into the post-match scuffle with gusto. He looked ready to take on the Turkish players and police.
For his involvement in the post-match scuffle, he was handed a four-game ban, a pointless sanction considering he was retiring anyhow.
When I came on with ten minutes to go, the Turkish defender kept kicking my feet as I was running and then he spat at me during the game. And I thought 'Ah, not nice'... and I remember thinking, 'if we go out here, I'm going to clip his legs as he runs away'. And after the final whistle went, I've clipped his heels, and he's looked around and he's just punched me straight in the face. And after that, it just became a free for all and I was in the middle of it. It was very strange.
He described the scene in the dressing room afterwards. Anyone who remembers the Galatasaray-Man United Champions League tie of 1993 knows it's not the first time an away team has retreated to the relative sanctuary a Turkish dressing room in such circumstances.
There was a lot of looks. Just staring. I can remember (Roy) Keaney staring at me, as if to say, what you been doin? I had, sort of, blood on my face and on my chest. No one really said a lot...
How Tony Cascarino became the patron saint of Exeter City
What Emmet Malone is to Apoel Nicosia, Tony Cascarino is to Exeter City.
In 2005, Cas drew the name of Exeter City out of the hat to play Manchester United in the FA Cup.
Exeter had debts of £4.5 million and there were mushrooms growing in the changing rooms. A previous chairman, John Russell would be jailed for fraud five years later.
The club was in a dire position. 500 supporters donated £500 each to try and save the club.
The chairwoman of the Exeter City supporters trust Denise Watts puts it plainly. Had Cascarino not pulled their name out of the hat to play Manchester United, the club would not exist today.
We wouldn’t have a club had Tony not drawn us out the hat. We would have been in CVA [a company voluntary arrangement] for ever, struggling for money.
Very quickly though, I felt like some kind of messiah. The club thanked me, called me their patron saint. By scooping up their number, I had given them a lottery win that saved them from possible extinction. Exeter’s story illustrates why the FA Cup matters. It can distribute wealth as well as provide romance for the neutral.
Tony Cascarino and how Alan McLoughlin saved him for a bollocking
Following Jimmy Quinn's screamer, Ireland were trailing 1-0 in Windsor Park in November 1993 and were limping out of the World Cup.
In desperate need of a goal, Charlton ordered Cascarino from the bench and informed him he was being thrown into the fray.
As Cascarino unzipped his tracksuit, it dawned on him that he had left his jersey hanging in the dressing room. An inexplicable faux pas.
Rare is the Irish football cock-up that can't be pinned on the FAI. But this is one. He gulped and told Jackie the bad news.
His face turned purple... I thought he was going to have a heart attack. ‘You fucking idiot!
As a highly strung Charlton prepared to rip into Big Cas some more, raucous yelling from the direction of the pitch alerted him everyone to the fact that Ireland had scored.
Tony Cascarino's eligibility crisis
Shortly after his international retirement, Tony Cascarino published an autobiography in which he dropped the bombshell that the Irish grandmother through whom he was qualified to play for Ireland wasn't his blood grandmother at all.
His mother informed him during his career that he was adopted. Cascarino kept shtum about the whole thing, believing it disqualified him from playing for Ireland.
However, the Irish eligibility rules were even more liberal than Cascarino had at first thought.
Once the situation was revealed, the FAI consulted with the Dept. of Foreign Affairs who confirmed that Cascarino's mother had gained the right to Irish citizenship through the adoption. Thus, he was eligible.
He insists on it too. During the Jack Grealish fiasco, Shay Given casually issued some lazy comments about Grealish's connection to the country.
He (Grealish) has an affiliation with the country, it’s not like Cascarino or something.
In his Sun column, Cascarino shot back.
I strongly resent Shay’s suggestion that I had no affiliation for Ireland.
Because I have an Italian surname, I think I am an easy target when people discuss players born outside Ireland who played for the team - but I would expect more from Shay.
I am one for tackling things head on, so when we next bump into each other, I will have it out with him.”
He should check his facts, because I was not only proud to play for Ireland, but qualified to do so.
I take it quite personally when people call that into question.
Tony Cascarino's contradicts conventional wisdom on the Harry Ramsden's Challenge
Shortly before Arsene Wenger arrived in London and consigned pie and mash to the dustbin of English football history, Big Jack showcased his greatest innovation in the field of sporting nutrition - Harry Ramsden's Challenge.
Hindsight has spotted a direct causal link between Harry's Challenge and Ireland's implosion at home to the Austrians.
Jack was a shareholder in the recently opened Naas Road branch of Harry Ramsdens (sadly no longer with us after hitting the wall in the early 2000's. The government really should have stepped in and preserved it as a site of genuine historical importance). After Packie cut the tape on the opening, the players had a go at the fabled 'Harry's Challenge', a meal (although it would euphemistic to describe it as 'a meal') which consisted not of pasta and rice and all the things footballers are supposed to eat, but of a giant sized haddock and chips.
According to the very reliable Niall Quinn, Gary Kelly emerged triumphant, eating everything the delighted staff threw at him. We don't know if the guy off Man v Food got his idea for his show from reading Quinny's book but it's quite possible he could have. Immediately after Harry's Challenge, the players got on a bus and headed for Lansdowne Road where they attempted to make a go of a training sessions.
In the words of Quinny, this quickly descended into an orgy of 'burping and farting' in which the players were 'creased over with laughter' for most of it.
The following day, Ireland lost to their bogey team, a team who had done nothing and qualified for nothing in years. A 3-1 home defeat and Ireland had even taken the lead in the second half. To younger fans accustomed to consistent Irish over-achievement, it was surreal.
However, Big Cas reminds that Jack had been pulling stunts like this for years and his team had been away with it - thriving even.
Like everything, when something goes wrong it escalates. No one would have even mentioned it had we won the game... It's quite common knowledge that before the World Cup quarter final in 1990, that Jack had a couple of kegs of Guinness sent up to the hotel.
To be honest, Jack did a few off the wall things over the years and the only one that ever went wrong was the Harry Ramsden challenge. Every other time it worked for us.
If you are in the mood for some more Cascarino stories, which never disappoint, why not head down to Shelbourne Park on Good Friday as Balls.ie are hosting an evening with Tony Cascarino:
