The Netherlands have booked their place in the quarter-finals of the 2022 FIFA World Cup, comfortably defeating the USA in their last-16 clash this afternoon.
It was a game for the purists, with very little on offer in terms of entertainment value despite the goals. The Dutch took the lead in the game inside the opening ten minutes, with Memphis Depay finishing off a strong team move.
🇳🇱 1-0 🇺🇸
10' Against the run of play, Memphis gives Netherlands the lead following a fine team move
📺 Watch #NEDUSA live now on @RTE2 and @RTEplayer: https://t.co/cpCr43bf7e
📱Live updates: https://t.co/ePp7MN169I#FifaWorldCup pic.twitter.com/4N82TAzyVU— RTÉ Soccer (@RTEsoccer) December 3, 2022
When Daley Blind added a second just before the interval, there was a sense that the result had already been settled.
That proved to be the case. Despite needing at least two goals in the second half, the USA never mounted any sort of attacking threat. While they would manage one fortunate goal to get back into the game, a third from their opponents a few moments later ended the match as a contest.
The Dutch completely took the sting out of the game, slowing down the pace of play and not allowing their opponents to build any sort of momentum.
In short, it wasn't exactly the most pleasing on the eye.
Martin Keown criticised for commentary in Netherlands vs USA
The match was not an exciting one, although viewers of the BBC would probably point out that the commentary for the game didn't help in this regard.
Former Arsenal defender Martin Keown was in the booth as a co-commentator and he seemed to suck what little life there was out of the game.
The Englishman spent most of the match complaining about both teams, also offering some baffling tactical 'insights'. He continually criticised the USA for not playing the ball out wide, only to then say they were getting no joy out there when they did.
Keown would use some very odd analogies over the course of the 90 minutes, including saying that the Americans were approaching the game 'with handcuffs on' and were 'playing walking chess'.
Overall, the public weren't exactly thrilled with his contributions.
Martin Keown talking about how much possession USA have had already, 30 seconds into the match
— Max Shepherd (@Max_B_Shepherd) December 3, 2022
Has anyone ever enjoyed Martin Keown's commentary? Has he ever not made a game worse by his presence? Fuck benefits cheats, fuck Boris, no-one is taking the piss on taxpayer money more than him.
— Captain Bendy (@robmulholland) December 3, 2022
“I think it’s been managed by the manager.” You don’t say, Martin Keown #BBCFootball #FIFAWorldCup
— Shelley Johnson (@shelleyj89) December 3, 2022
😂😂 "They've just got to take the handbrake off... And Handcuffs." There it is everyone, the best thing Martin Keown will ever say on TV. Back to mind numbingly dull commentary from now.
— George (@georgewhucoyi) December 3, 2022
@PrivateEyeNews Martin Keown: ‘USA have to take off the handbrake and handcuffs. It’s almost like they’re playing walking chess out there.’ #netherlandvsusa
— John Eyres (@HaddenhamJohn) December 3, 2022
The football loving part of my brain shrinks a little bit every time Martin Keown speaks.
— Northlander (@northlander68) December 3, 2022
Martin Keown 10 minutes ago - the United States need more width.
Just now - the winger (Weah) needs to come inside more, he’s not doing anything out wide. #BBCWorldCup #WorldCup #pundits— Tom Boylan (@tommyboylan) December 3, 2022
Martin Keown letting the world know he’s never seen a boxing match in his life with that analogy
— LJ (@LJ_bets) December 3, 2022
I never thought anyone could annoy me as much in football commentary as Danny Murphy saying ‘nice’ all day long.
But then along comes Martin Keown and ‘for sure’ when asked any question.
Please bring back thick footballers who just say ‘like’ every third word. #NEDUSA— Steve Parker ⚒️ (@SteveParker1971) December 3, 2022
Listening to Martin Keown is like having to eat 500 plain crackers with no topping and no drink.
— Andy Wales 🇪🇺 (@AndyArmchair) December 3, 2022
Martin Keown's avoidance of any form of meaningful analysis over such a lengthy career as a pundit is a magnificent achievement. I have come to treasure it
— Alan Fisher (@spursblogger) December 3, 2022
"Absolute quality," exclaims Martin Keown, as the video footage shows the contact halfway up his shin #FIFAWorldCup #NED #USA
— Steve Grant (@SteveGrant1983) December 3, 2022
"Let the kids play," says Martin Keown, remarking on van Gaal giving debuts to Xavi Simons (19) and Andries Noppert (err... 28) at the World Cup
— Mark White (@markwhlte) December 3, 2022
I think the worse thing about the injury time in this match is having to listen to Martin Keown for an extra 6 minutes 🤦🏻♂️#NEDUSA #Qatar2022 #BBCWorldCup #FIFAWorldCup
— Dave Irons (@David_Irons65) December 3, 2022
Damning.
When it came to the USA's goal, viewers couldn't believe that Keown thought that Haji Wright actually meant that finish.
This goal was simultaneously the worst touch and best finish of the tournament from Haji Wright 🤣 #FIFAWorldCup pic.twitter.com/oIjlgfqpY3
— Balls.ie (@ballsdotie) December 3, 2022
Why does Martin Keown think that was an “unbelievable goal”😂 that was the most flukey goal ever
— totnumsufferer (@holder_leo) December 3, 2022
Martin Keown suggesting that Wright might have meant that has to be the stupidest bit of punditry so far in this competition.
— Gareth 💙 (@Original_GSP) December 3, 2022
Yeah Martin Keown I'm absolutely sure he meant to backheel it against the floor and loop it about 10 yards into the air and hope the defender scuffed his clearance into the goal you complete nause
— DT (@1884DT) December 3, 2022
Martin Keown thinks that goal for the US was "what they needed".
— Michael Glasper🎄 (@michaelglasper) December 3, 2022
Here's hoping we don't see him on duty for the final.
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