The identity of the official 'Man United mattress and pillow partner' is something we know you have agonised over for years. Just who is responsible for supplying the mattresses on which the pampered superstars at Old Trafford rest their weary heads after a hard morning's training? Who is charged with ensuring that Zlatan, Wayne et al get their precious thirty minutes of afternoon nap-time that is so vital to their on-field performance?
Well, agonise no more. For we can reveal that Man United have today announced what is, shockingly, their first ever mattress and pillow partner. If the stereotype of pampered footballers wasn't strong enough already, a mattress and pillow company called 'Mlily' have secured a five-year partnership with United. On their website United outline that mattresses will be used "in the (training) Complex's existing sleeping pods". The club states:
We want to make the best use of the latest technology and expertise that can help our team, which in this case is the sleep and recovery of players.
The new deal has led to the inevitable spate of terrible jokes on social media.
Cushions the blow of Saturday's poor result etc. etc. https://t.co/XxeqL35Go1
— Ryan Keaney (@RyanKeaney) October 31, 2016
Man Utd's first ever mattress + pillow partner? What have they been doing all these years? pic.twitter.com/gNDeoHGlfV
— Martyn Ziegler (@martynziegler) October 31, 2016
@martynziegler Sleeping on the job, clearly.
— Nicholas Murray (@NJEMurray) October 31, 2016
@martynziegler their football sends most people to sleep
— AirConGipsyRed (@AirConGipsyRed) October 31, 2016
@martynziegler That's what you call sleeping partners.
— Rob Stewart (@RobStewart_) October 31, 2016
@SeamusConwell Presume the ad slogan will be "are you lying in an uncomfortable position."
— Ian Guider (@ianguider) October 31, 2016
At least with some decent nights' sleep United's players will be able to get their heads down and focus on doing well on the pitch.
At the end of the day, that's all that really mattress.
