It's like people just go out of their way to upset me. I swear to God, I feel as if I'm a real life version of the Truman Show and the producers get up every day and think 'Let's see how we can send Mark's blood pressure through the roof today then.'
First of all, what lunatic gets a tattoo of a Suarez bite and secondly, who then goes and spells 'Suarez' wrong on the bloody thing!?
Thirdly, what idiot lets himself get so upset about the whole thi ... Oh wait, that's me...
hat-tip: Paddy Power