Who Is Louis Van Gaal's Secret Striker? We Investigate All Possible Signings

This morning Louis Van Gaal made a statement that got all Manchester United fans pondering.

While participating in a standard press conference on the US tour that his team are currently in the process of completing, Van Gaal slipped a mysterious hint that a big signing could be on the horizon, but that the media had yet to link the club with that player.

Van Gaal on 'surprise' signing: "It's in the process. It's not the striker that the media has written but you have to wait + see!"

— MUFC Peoples Person (@PeoplesPerson_) July 21, 2015

So the speculation began.

Out Of The Running:

Immediately, Edinson Cavani, Harry Kane, Robert Lewandowski, Karim Benzema, Christian Benteke, Thomas Muller, and Romelu Lukaku can be ruled out, as all of them have had stories, regardless of their credibility, written about them being targeted by Man United.

Legitimate Possibilities:

The following players are strikers who have not been linked to Manchester United, but could very well be targeted in a similar fashion to Matteo Darmian, who was signed with no clues from the press.

Alexandre Lacazette: The hottest young goalscoring prospect in Europe at the moment, Lyon's president has said that a bid in the region of £35m-40m would make them consider a sale. Would be an exciting signing, but it seems as though he fancies another season in Ligue 1.

Gonzalo Higuain: Divides opinion among a lot of Premier League fans, would he be willing to settle for a spot on the bench while Rooney starts up front?

Klaas-Jan Huntelaar: Would certainly be an uninspiring surprise, but Huntelaar would be a decent shout as a back up striker. He gets goals wherever he does, and he's Dutch, so that's pretty much enough to have you linked with United these days, so it's actually a surprise he hasn't been linked.

A Real Surprise:

Zlatan Ibrahimovic:

Could you see Zlatan and LVG getting along? Could you see Zlatan sign for a team where he is not guarenteed a starring role? No, probably not, so it would certainly be a surprise.

Gareth Bale:

Links with an exit from the Bernabeu have cooled since the end of the season, and it looks as though Bale is going nowhere, but he surely won't forget how the Madrid fans treated him last season, and again it would be a blockbuster surprise.

Dave Kitson:

Widely believed to be 'The Secret Footballer', were LVG to unveil Kitson at Man United's secret signing it would be such an expert level of trolling that the fans couldn't even be mad.

Bruno from Renford Rejects:

Another one who would certainly be a surprise, could Bruno Di Gradi finally be getting his Premier League chance? Paul Parris would need to be found first.

Danny Welbeck:

After proving that he's not good enough to start for a top club with Arsenal last season and totally vindicating Van Gaal's decision to sell him, Welbeck returning to Old Trafford would be a WWE style surprise. And one that would be very uninspiring.

Santiago Munez:

Would you really be surprised if Ed Woodward turned around and announced a partnership with Touchstone Pictures and had secured the rights to 'GOAL 4: THE FINAL SHOT'? With a full plot around the return of Santiago Munez following his disappearance after the 2010 World Cup, Munez would certainly be a surprise.