The best joke in The Simpsons is an extremely subtle one. In a classroom scene the following is scrawled on the blackboard: "Brevity...wit".
Luke Shaw has proved himself to be an adept disciple of this comedic direction, as he has been asked to describe his teammates in one sentence for the Manchester United programme, and he has absolutely nailed it. Here are a select few:
Phil Jones: "He has the worst dance moves I've ever seen. When he tries dancing in the gym, it's just horrendous. He is quite funny though."
Daley Blind: "I tell Daley every morning that his dress sense is horrendous: big leather jacket, baggy jeans and so on."
Cameron Borthwick-Jackson: "I can't let him get away with the way he runs. He's like a human dinosaur! Maybe he can work on his technique in pre-season."
Marouane Fellaini: "You don't want to go anywhere near Felli on the training pitch because he trains like the way he plays!"
Ashley Young: "The joker of the team and probably one of the funniest guys I've ever met. We're good friends away from football too, even though he took my position at one point!"
Ander Herrera: "I think Ander's the joker out of the Spanish lads. He'll dance around in his pants to the Spanish music and he just makes everyone laugh. I reckon he'll be a funny one to watch in the celebrations if we win the trophy."
David De Gea: "He's probably the greatest person in the dressing room, and one of the nicest as well. He's always asking how you are and giving you a hug."
Marvellous. Never before has the slapstick and capricious essence of Phil Jones been distilled so perfectly, while we are unsurprised at the Fellaini shout. Unfortunately, he has not offered any opinion on Louis Van Gaal.
Shaw has endured a torrid season since that horror injury against PSV, it's good to see it hasn't dimmed his sense of humour.
You can read Shaw's full rundown on the Manchester United website.
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