Arsenal will embark on a pre-season tour of Australia in 2017, meaning a number of unfortunate souls on The Gunners' books were always likely to be hauled in to produce some hideous promo content.
Arsenal, of course, didn't disappoint. No, as in they actually didn't disappoint. The promo is fairly feckin' funny, in fairness to them.
We join Per Mertesacker, Carl Jenkinson and Adam Sandler Santi Cazorla on an unspecified beach, as the Spaniard rustles up a few 'snags' on the barbie. Per Mertesacker, the lazy git, is lounging about with a can, demanding sausages for - as he so beautifully describes it - his 'sanger'. And fuck knows what Carl Jenkinson is doing...even just generally.
But in fairness to Perry Mer, he pulls off a half-decent Aussie accent considering English isn't his first language, while Santi Cazorla's cooking efforts clearly inhibit him from committing fully to his attempt. Carl Jenkinson, meanwhile, sounds like an Aussie who's been out in the sun too long (like, four years too long).
You can check it out below courtesy of Match of the Day commentator Andy Ha.
Per Mertesacker's Australian accent is the single best thing in the world. pic.twitter.com/m2fNNIcVq4
— Andy Ha (@_AndyHa) December 16, 2016
We're actually not sure who's funnier; Santi Cazorla - who's bloody hilarious at the best of times, Mertesacker - whose German comedic timing or lack thereof combine beautifully with a surprisingly decent stab at the Aussie accent, or the gormless Carl Jenkinson who, for his sake, we hope is an extremely accomplished actor.